Cheaters Paranoia

Up and down this hall I tread

This chill I feel is never ceasing

This hunger I feel is never fading

I stop in my cluttered living room

Sit by the fireplace

Try to warm my hands

But I can not

I must leave this pathetic excuse for a fire

And make my way into the kitchen

I see you asleep in your cozy bed

Holding tightly to the bear I gave you last Valentines Day

I stand in your doorway for only a moment

And say silently

Dear, do you not notice that to your right the space is empty

I leave your doorway and am sure to be silent

So I do not disturb you from your sleep

But the floor, oh how it creaks

Mocking me with every guilty step I take

Croaking at me CHEATER!!

The fridge has what I need

Yes I am sure of it

Gin and Tonic guilt undertaker

But I still have this pinch in my chest

What is it I am feeling

Surely not guilt I have buried my guilt

In an intoxicated state of denial

I stink of another scent

I stink of desperation

I must wash all of it away erase

Their scent, their invisible hand prints on me, 

Their kisses upon my neck, and last

But not least I need to wash away the desperation

To bad I can not wash away the hunger

The urge I have to be lead astray even though

I love you and not that new distraction

I change into my flannel pants and tanktop

Up and down this hall I resume treading

The owl outside mocks me with its "whooing"

The floor mocks me with its creaking

Croaking with every step I take 

"Cheater they love you!"

I swear this floor could drive me to kill

The door to the guest bedroom has never been louder

Even though I have opened it slowly and lightly

With every step I take towards the twin size bed

I hear

"Cheater they love you!"

This pinch in my chest, which I will call grief, could

Eat me alive, kill me slowly