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Gone.....

Poem By: sonia
Other


Tags: horror, death

a womans pains View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 4, 2008    Reads: 59    Comments: 2    Likes: 1   


Gone
 
The woman cradled
The forlorn object in her arms
This was the memorial
Of her deepest, darkest sorrows
This child was doomed
To a neglected childhood
 
No pity. No love,
 
For whilst he lay in her womb
For almost an eternity
Locked away from the beast
We call the world.
He was safe and unknowing,
She didn’t form no motherly bond
Her hold on him tightened
His giggles and coos like screeching owls
Made her eyeballs roll over backwards
 
She was deaf. To hi cries
And blind. To his presence
 
Yet she could feel his tiny bones
Fighting against her tight grasp
She leaned over to the edge
Of the optimistic lake…at midnight
Gently with the slightest trace
Of tender loving care
Lay him down upon the cushioned
Creased fibres of the water
 
Cold and comforting
 
She was respectful enough
To watch him struggle and cry
Then finally engulfed
Into the reflection of the full moon
Still. Showing this cruel kindness
She stayed long enough to see
Him float along the top. Resurfaced
In his god given birthday suit
Limbs loose, head bobbing up and down
Eyes closed
 
Blue. Pale. Silent
 
Gone
 


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Comments:

I thought it was interesting when I read "the cage", but I think this is just wrong...I am a mother of a seventeen-month-old daughter, so this creeps me out in a really bad way...I know it is just a poem and u are creating a horror story, but I don't approve of the content...I usually don't critcize negatively and never judge anyone here at booksie, but I think this one is really bad! So if you respond to my messages, I will just let it be...but I don't think I care to read anymore of your works, cuz this took me down a road I didn't want to go down....sorry, please help yourself.

Posted: Jul 7, 2008

Author Comment:

im very sorry that my poem offended you or disturbed you in any way.

in my writing i try to capture the different realities of the world, including the misery and torture of life. my writing does not reflect my personality in any way. when i write i try to place myself in somebody els's shoes and recreate the moment or to create a new idea itself from that.

anyway, thanks for reading..

Very VERY sad, but I wouldn't go as far as to say I'd never look at your poems again. I understand what you were saying, that when you write you try to place yourself in someone else's shoes, and that's exactly what I do too. I don't actually experience what I write, although people may think I have experienced the subject I write about. This poem was a completely different style, but I think you did a great job at it! You created a depressing darkness in a very unique way. Don' let others stop you from continuing to write more like this one. =)
~Maple

Posted: Jul 14, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks maple, im glad u understand



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Other writing by sonia Tunes See To see beyond the seen The Madness me an you..... More..



Tags

Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.

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