Have you ever had that feeling in your life,
When you are about to lose control of yourself?
When you feel that you have nothing to live for?
You feel like you are about to collapse,
About to snap at any moment,
And there is not a thing
That you or anybody can do about it.
Everything seems to contract and expand together,
And then suddenly it all explodes like a grenade
Right in front of your face.
You start gasping for your last breath of air.
You feel depressed, strange and alienated from your surroundings.
Suddenly, it feels like the universe has stopped expanding,
The world has stopped rotating,
Everyone has come to a halt
And time has frozen.
But you feel lost, you feel different,
You feel like getting a gun
And pointing it at your head
But you hesitate to pull the trigger.
The longer you take, the more pain you feel,
Your wounds get deeper and deeper.
Have you ever felt like slicing your wrist with a jagged knife?
Everything that could possibly go wrong,
Goes wrong all at the same time.
The unthinkable always happens,
At the unexpected moment of your life.
Everyone around you appears to be
On a separate wavelength of their own.
Everyone moves in slow-motion.
There are people yelling and screaming at you,
You can see their lips move,
But you can’t hear a word.
Everything appears as a blur.
It’s like being stuck in a moment you can’t get out of.
It’s like having a nightmare,
But you are unable to wake from it.
You try to think of a happy time and smile,
But your tears of sadness over shadows your thought.
When you think of a glorious moment,
You wish you could capture it in your palm.
At this point you stare at nothing,
You enter into a world of your own
And you start thinking deeply within yourself,
You wish you could relive that moment.
Blood rushes through your veins,
At a speed you never thought possible.
Your heart pumps faster and faster,
Until it can pump no more.
Your body temperature feels hotter than fire,
You can feel the sweat running down your forehead,
Whilst you are standing out in the cold on your own.
The little hairs rise on your neck,
You begin to produce goose bumps,
Your skin goes all pale
And your lips become blue.
It’s like hell has come down to earth,
Where has heaven gone?
This is the moment in your life,
When you feel that you can never look back,
That you can never turn around.
You can never change what’s been and done,
You cannot go back to the past.
This is where life feels like a lonely single laned highway,
You are left to travel the long road on your own.
This is where lifes journey begins,
It is lonely, miserable and cold.
You have no idea when, where and how it will end.
Why is it that you hate the one you love the most?
What is it that makes you hit the bottle again?
Howdoes one always end up hurting the onethey love?
Why do you start inhaling smoke?
If you fall, will anyone help you get back on your feet?
Where do you go to take out your anger?
When are you allowed to scream so that everyone will hear you?
Is there anyone else out there, another you, in a parallel universe?
Who will be on your side?
Who can you trust?
Who will hear you?
Who will listen to you?
Who will support you?
What is the purpose of life?
Why is life so hard?
Why do you always turn to the one you hurt?
Why is life like a mountain?
Easy to slip down,
But hard to get back up.
Why does life have to be so cold?
Why does life have to be so cruel?
Why does life have to be such a bitch?
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