Peaceful Land Below

Random First Lines: Preface: I had never given much thought to how I would die. I mean I was 16 years old; I had a whole decade... : Young Adult » Read

Poem By: whitehart
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Tags: seeking, a, better, place

We all seek to go there, but others get to choose how to go.

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Submitted: Aug 8, 2008 Reads: 43 Comments: 11 Likes: 6

PEACEFUL LAND BELOW

The sound of the waters call out to me

The raging wind urges me on

Follow it, follow it to your demise

With gentle steps I move closer

The sound of the waves not a relief

Beckoning, with a sneering voice

The ground no longer mine to see

The swaying waters pulling me in

Struggling with one who doesn’t fight it

The weight of water upon my shoulders

Heavier than the worldly troubles I leave behind

Sinking, giving up at last

The land below all black and blue

The water creatures’ watch confused

The water should have beckoned much sooner

For below here there is peace.

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Comments:

nuttyz

Hit the 'i like it' button!!!XD

Don't know what to say..hehe
but totally loved it for some reason!!

keep writing^_^

Posted: Aug 8, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks a lot Nuttz....glad you liked it!

IRENE
(not registered user)

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. I liked it.

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks!:)

Brian Peza Perrins

Great piece of work Deb!

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Brian

Gaarababylove12300

Whoa, that was awsome. I could see it happening in my head. Very great work! :)

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much for the wonderful comment :)
Glad you liked it.

kitty08

Oh, this rox! I luv'd it! (clicks "I like it" button)

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks a lot Kitty08! :)

Hey whitehart :) Thanks for telling me that you put up some new stuff, I've been wanting to read something from you for a while. I love this poem. It is so beautiful and the theme that you are trying to get across really strikes a soft chord with me. Make sure and let me know when you post another :). Take care, Regan

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks a lot Regan. Been a bit slack on the writing but am trying to pick up. I put lots of thought into this one so am pretty glad you liked it. Will let you know when I write more.:)
Take care~Deb

Chello

Nice Poem! Keep up the good work! c",)

Posted: Aug 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Chello :)

StrictlyVee

Deb, This is a beautiful, well written poem. The last line really grabs me "for below here there is peace" When you think about all the turmoil in the world today you know there's got to be a better place. I kind of giggled when I read the part about the water creatures watched confused. It was as if I could see them. lol Thanks so much for sharing this poem.

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey Vee, thanks for the comment. Good to know you found humour in part of the poem....its aways a good mix. Glad you liked it.

Pratibha

AMEN...yes there is peace...i closed my eyes and visualised the entire ssequence and felt so much better....thank you...

Posted: Aug 23, 2008

Author Comment:

As always, Pratibha, your comments brought a smile to my face. You are welcome! Get well soon buddy!

Pratibha

i knew i would come back again...as usual u are a magician in my eyes...

u know what the lines -
The weight of water upon my shoulders
Heavier than the worldly troubles I leave behind

Sinking, giving up at last
and there is eace below...

really really made me feel that ' there is PEACE and HARMONY " beyond this world...i wish i was bold enough to embrace it

Posted: Aug 30, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey, glad you made it and enjoyed it. I think that we never think we are bold/strong enough, but when we actually start embrassing it, we find that its not so bad after all. :)

MAmberConrad

I can hear a melody in here. This is so soft, yet it conveys such strong emotion. You seem like such an old soul, so wise, with so much experience in life. This is absolutely beautiful.

MA

Posted: Sep 6, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks a lot MA, that comment just made my day! Glad you loved it! Take care

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