I have found the secret to eternal life.
It lies in the ear canal.
I found it by accident, really.
When I probed in too far with my Q-tip.
There was a whistling sound,
Then a loud screech,
A rumbling like a train going down the track,
Or the thunder of an approaching storm.
And then I heard them, for the first time.
The wisdom of the ages, the ones who had come before me.
Talking, screaming, jesting, fighting,
All within my ears.
That was nearly eighty years ago,
And I haven't aged a day since.
Neither have they.