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Short Play for Girls: Race on Race

Script By: Shannan Browne
Other



In Post-Apartheid South Africa, it's time to talk. It's time to learn, it's time to become a democracy. That's easier said than done, so this script opens up the avenues for conversation on a difficult topic: How different are different races? How similar are they? What wrong ideas do we have about other races? This script is a game show with a difference! It's a race about race.


Submitted:Apr 2, 2010    Reads: 577    Comments: 0    Likes: 1   


Race On Race ©
Premiered at Pinetown Girl's High School Hall
18 September 2007
ORIGINAL CAST:
Host - Buyisiwe Ngidi
Host's assistant - Hlengiwe Khumalo
White 1 - TOMINA - Samantha Hardie
White 2 - DIXY - Jenna Cardona
White 3 - HENRIETTA - Karen van Tonder
Indian 1 - GOVENDER - Camille Pillay
Indian 2 - NAIDOO - Shanel Raghubeer
Indian 3 - SINGH - Stereotyped Indian
Black 1 - VOTE FOR ME - Sbonginkosi Khanyile
Black 2 - VOTE FOR ME - Lindo Ndlovu
Black 3 - VOTE FOR ME - Nandipha
Advertisement Maid - Nokukhanya Ngcobo
Black Maid 1 - Chante Shongwe
Black Maid 2 - Traditional maid
White - Samantha Hardie
Indian - Chiara Sewnarain
Black - Michelle Mkhize
Race On Race ©
by Shannan Browne
CHARACTERS:
Host - Loud and lively stereotype of a quiz / game show host
Host's assistant - typical show girl… actress can have fun with the character's intelligence and attention levels
White 1 - TOMINA (on name tag) Upper class snob
White 2 - DIXY (on name tag) literal blonde, nametag on upside down so she can read it
White 3 - HENRIETTA (on name tag) stereotypical Dutchman Afrikaaner
Indian 1 - GOVENDER (on name tag) Stereotyped Indian
Indian 2 - NAIDOO (on name tag) Stereotyped Indian
Indian 3 - SINGH (on name tag) Stereotyped Indian
Black 1 - VOTE FOR ME (on name tag) Proud Loud Black Person
Black 2 - VOTE FOR ME (on name tag) Traditional Loud Black Person
Black 3 - VOTE FOR ME (on name tag) Vain, the LOUDEST Black Person
Advertisement Maid - Traditional Apartheid Era Outfit Wearing Maid, doek & all
Black Maid 1 - skinny, gossiping madam's maid, in full Traditional Apartheid Era Outfit, doek & all
Black Maid 2 - large, gossiping madam's maid, in full Traditional Apartheid Era Outfit, doek & all
White - Lady dressed corporately
Indian - Modern Day Indian
Black - Modern Student
Set is a typical Game Show. There are 3 podiums, one for each team. A score board with the team names on:
Whities, Curries and Committee, with space for points and a total score. Candidates need pens and cards.
An area is needed for the 'ad break' and 2 separate performances.
Enter the host in full exuberance, bubble and spunk.
Host: Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to the first live edition of the raciest, most biased, most non-politically correct quiz show that you have ever seen. Welcome to: Race on Race.
SIGN (optional throughout performance): "APPLAUSE" … reverse side of sign: " THULANI"
Host: Yes, yes, thank you for the fabulous response from our live studio audience, as the folks at home can see we have a perfect brew of South Africans loitering in our passageways … and I trust all your passbooks have been signed … just joking ladies and gents, they will be signed on your way out, so no need to worry about it now.
First things first - let's meet the Whities.
In walk 3 white girls wearing their nametags, they go to their positions on stage behind game show podiums
Host: Welcome Whities, great to have you putting your racey knowledge to the test so openly. Let's start with you telling us a little bit about yourselves…
White 1: Hi I'm Tomina.
White 2: (Reading her nametag) Hi, I'm Dixy.
White 3: Hi, I'm Henrietta.
Host: Thank-you ladies. I was hoping for a little more than the obvious, but nevertheless - LET'S CONTINUE - for your first set of points…put your thinking caps on ladies… Please tell us - what is the best thing about your race?
White 1: I love the freedom we have when we grow up, that our parents trust us.
White 2: I love the manners I have been brought up with.
White 3: I love the fact that we are all looking so different, we have blondes, brunettes, blue eyes, hazel eyes and so many different combinasies of looks.
Host: Congratulations Whities - you have just received your first THREE POINTS!
SIGN - APPLAUSE Three points added to their team on the scoreboard by the assistant.
Host: Yes, yes, thank-you audience. Now for the next team, our very own Curries.
In walk 3 Indian girls wearing their nametags, they go to their positions on stage behind game show podiums
Host: Welcome Curries. Now let's have your introductions.
Indian 1: Namasday audience, I am here with my aunties and uncles and cousins and sisters and in laws and out laws, as you can read from my nametag I am a Govender.
Indian 2: Namasday. I am a Naidoo and I am in high school. I am going to be involved in the medical field as a pharmacist when I have finished studying my courses in 10 years time.
Indian 3: Namasday. My surname is Singh and my father owns several used car lots and he is knowing a friend who is knowing a friend who got me on this show.
Host: Thank you Curries, and thanks to all your families who are crowded in our aisles outside with the food they brought for our audience. Very spicey of you. Now for your first three points! Please tell us - what is the best thing about your race?
Indian 1: I love our food.
Indian 2: I love the sense of unity and belonging that we all have, and that we take care of our families.
Indian 3: I love the fact that my hair is always so soft.
Host: Excellent answers ladies - congratulations on your first THREE POINTS!
SIGN - APPLAUSE Three points added to their team on the scoreboard by the assistant.
Host: And now we will meet the last, but not least team, our very own Committee, each of these girls is running for president of this racey show. Presenting: The Committee…(delay in their entrance)…The Committee…(whispers to assistant to fetch them)…Apologies audience, it seems that a few of our contestants are running on African time. (Rush in the blue light brigade loudly… they eventually settle down)… Now that you have arrived, please introduce yourselves.
Black 1: I promise to be the best president of the committee that you have ever had.
Black 2: I promise to be better than the best president of the committee.
Black 3: Hau, mina, mina, I promise I am the only president of the committee who will make sure you are properly rewarded for voting for me.
Host : Yes, thank-you for giving us your names ladies. (Sarcastically) Great that you are actually answering the question so well. Let's try again shall we, but this time it's for THREE POINTS! Please tell us - what is the best thing about your race?
Black 1: Well, mina, I promise you that I love the rich, strong, grounded heritage of our ancestors, we are a proud race.
Black 2: I promise everyone here that I love my culture, my traditions and the beautiful languages we have.
Black 3: I promise the audience here and at home that we are very social and have fun wherever we go; we never get bored.
Host: Excellent promises…er…answers ladies - congratulations on your first THREE POINTS!
SIGN - APPLAUSE Three points added to their team on the scoreboard
Host: Yes audience it is truly FAN-TASTIC, no rice about it, in our racey race everyone is on THREE POINTS! Yes our teams have all come out as equal … so far… But will it stay that way? Will the Curries out do the Whities or will the Committee run away with a gravy train victory? (Chirping amongst the contestants who all want to be the better race) There's only one way to find out - so stick around for the upcoming part 2 of today's live edition of RACE ON RACE, after this ad break.
SIGN - APPLAUSE
Enter Advertisement Maid - Traditional Apartheid Era Outfit Wearing Maid, doek & all - carrying her laundry bucket on her head with hand-washing in it. Sits down to do the hand washing and chants:
Advert - Deep deep deep in Omo Blue, Deep deep deep in water too. Put it to the light, shines so bright, put it to the nose …
Deep deep deep in Omo Blue, Deep deep deep in water too. Put it to the light, shines so bright, put it to the nose … ehe … ehe…
Deep deep deep in Omo Blue, Deep deep deep in water too. Put it to the light, shines so bright, put it to the nose … eish … Maid runs out with bucket and washing embarrassed at the still smelly laundry.
Host: Welcome back to RACE ON RACE. We are now going to take our contestants to the next part of the show - each team has 3 points and now we're going to see if they can outdo each other in the next section: "THE BIGGEST WRONG IDEA!" For 2 points.
Right Committee - Let's start with you. For TWO POINTS: What is the biggest "Wrong idea" that other races have about The Curries? You have 30 Seconds. Go.
Timing can be done either exactly or by the unintelligent assistant counting on her fingers.
Committee confers in whispers, and then raise hands and audience see them voting for their answer.
Assistant notifies that the 30 second has ended.
Host: And your answer is?
Black 2 : The Curries love putting coconut oil in their hair.
Black 3 : AND they are all skinny.
Host: Incorrect! The Curries believe that everyone one thinks they all speak with a broken accent and all and all and all, and that they all like eating curry. Sorry for you.
Black 1: May we negotiate.
Host: (in irritated tone) No you may not, caucuses are not allowed on this show. Right Whities - I trust those thinking caps are still on: What is the biggest "Wrong idea" that other races have about The Committee? You have 30 Seconds. Go.
Timing can be done either exactly or by the unintelligent assistant counting on her fingers.
Whites confer in whispers. Each suggesting the other's answer is better.
Assistant notifies that the 30 second has ended.
Host: And your answer is?
Whites: All black people are really loud.
Committee react loudly with toy-toying, defying the Whitie's answer.
Host: Incorrect! The Committee believe that other races think that they are all thieves and that they have no education. You receive no points! It seems that none of you have been talking with each other backstage. So the only team left to try and reconcile the matter is the Curries. So Curries: What is the biggest "Wrong idea" that other races have about the Whities? You have 30 Seconds. Go.
Timing can be done either exactly or by the unintelligent assistant counting on her fingers.
Indians confer in whispers. They write down answers and discuss via the paper. 30 Seconds ends.
Other teams try to see their paper and listen in to their discussion.
Assistant notifies that the 30 second has ended.
Host: Time is up ladies. Can you win this race? What is your answer?
Indians: White people are fake.
Host: Incorrect! The Whities believe the biggest wrong idea about them is that other races think they are all rich, racist, snobs, when in fact they are not all like that. You receive ZERO points. It seems in this race you all have the wrong idea about each other. Pity you can't talk about it now, because now it's time to have our final round of quizzing live on RACE ON RACE!
SIGN - APPLAUSE
Host: Lovely! Now for our final quiz section called: "WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?" In this section our teams are going to watch TWO different scenes acted by LIFT, our Local Innovations for Theatre group. These scenes will show us both positive enjoyable things about certain races as well as the little niggly cultural differences that cause irritation. Our teams will have to give us ONE positive and ONE irritation from the scenes that they watch and that will "BE THE DIFFERENCE!" So let's welcome our guest performers: LIFT: Ladies Innovating for Theatre.
SIGN - APPLAUSE
Ladies enter the stage to perform 2 skits - 1) Maids Gossiping and 2) Cue in the Post Office .
Contestants move to the best position to watch the skits.
Set up stage as required
MAIDS GOSSIPING - characters are over the top gossipers and react to each other constantly with hand gestures, clapping and the like:
Maid 1: Hello Madam's maid!
Maid 2: Yebo, sawubona umadam's maid.
Maid 1: How is your life today?
Maid 2: Ngikona, wena unjani?
Maid 1: Hm hm hm I would say I can't complain, but I'd be lying!
Maid 2: Serious?
Maid 1: Serious!
Maid 2: How, my friend, it is not good to lie, you must tell me the truth.
Maid 1: Serious?
Maid 2: Serious!
Maid 1: OK madam's maid, then I must complain and give you the truth so I can have some reconciliation.
Maid 2: Yes wena, that's the best statement.
Maid 1: Umadam's maid, u-madam-wami has so much money and I have so little. Umadam has plasma and I have black and white.
Maid 2: Haibo, you have your own home in the township! Your children go to private school, you get so much food from your madam and you get free transport because your man's a taxi driver!
Maid 1: It's the truth, but I think madam has so much more.
Maid 2: No, madam has more stress, more bank charges and more debt! Remember you told me last week that she was selling her car.
Maid 1: Eish I don't think she is selling her car to get out of debt, I think she's buying a bigger car! U - what's it? Ah, E-Hummer!
Maid 2: Hau! How do you know that?
Maid 1: How can I? But I think it's true. These white people don't talk; they don't want u-maid to listen, so how can I tell if it is true?
Maid 2: White people are very private, not like us where we tell the whole family. I told my mother that I met a man, and my mother told her sister, her sister told her cousin, and her cousin told her boyfriend, who is friends with this man; and now the man won't stop calling me!
Maid 1: Haai ngege!
Maid 2: So my madam is shouting at me for being on the phone too much. If my mother was quiet like the white ladies, then I wouldn't be on the phone.
Maid 1: Yes, but if your mother was quiet like the white madam then you wouldn't have your man calling you!
Ladies finish, face the audience, bow and exit the stage.
CUE IN THE POST OFFICE - cue of 3 ladies waiting for their turn, lots of tapping feet in frustration, all girls must have something with them e.g. parcel to post, letter, bill etc
White: I can't believe how slowly this cue is moving!
Indian: I agree. I feel like I have been waiting in this cue for hours!
Black: Yes, I wish I was at the front already.
Long pause
White: I can't believe that we still haven't moved.
Black: Yes, this is taking as long as my UNISA assignments take to get marked. Sheshano!
Indian: This is taking longer than Telkom takes to answer my call.
All smile
White: UNISA? What are you studying at UNISA?
Black: I reading my LLB
White: Wow, that's great, good for you. But I'm sure it must be difficult.
Black: Yes, there's loads of reading and understanding, but I'm clever enough!
White: No, no, I didn't mean that, I meant being a black woman. I always thought that black men were superior in your culture and that woman should be teachers or nurses.
Black: Oh, I see what you mean. Yes, in some ways; but our culture is changing, we are all getting educated and woman are starting to show their worth in the business field too. But at home, I'm happy with my traditional way of living. You should see some of my friends; it's amazing how different they are at home to when they're at work. My one friend wears a pants suit to work, and long traditional skirts to see her father.
White: But surely that's difficult? Don't your roles get confused sometimes?
Black: I suppose, but most of us love our culture and our heritage, it is part of who we are, and we want to keep it; and we also want to improve ourselves too. We want the best of both worlds.
Indian: Yes, our culture is the same. I love wearing my saris, but they are just not ideal for the corporate environment. It's great that I can wear them if I want to though.
White: How do you manage with the religious side? Don't you have different religious holidays?
Indian: Yes, but I am happy to take leave because it is my choice not to be a Christian, and the company I work for has realised that we will take our prayer time on a Friday, especially because there are so many of us. Thankfully we stick together very tightly.
Black: I wish I understood more about Eastern religions, that elephant guy has always scared me!
Indian: Shame, he's not that bad; but your Tokoloshe is something I don't understand at all. And what's she called? A sangoma? She has those bones…
Black: Yes that's what we call her.
Indian: And then Christians have their Satan. He certainly doesn't sound like a very friendly guy.
Black: Yes, he sounds pretty mean, but even the Chinese have their yin and yang. It seems everyone has good and bad.
White: Ladies what if we put all the forces together to get a show like WWE going. The Tokoloshe takes on the Elephant… or would that just insult people?
Indian: That would be entertaining, but I think it would insult a lot of people, religion is a core belief and it shouldn't be judged or criticized by anyone. Your soul; your choice.
Black: Too true, but I wouldn't mind putting all our forces together to take on Mugabe!
White: Hear, hear, or use them to take on this cue!
Ladies finish, face the audience, bow and exit the stage
Host: Thank-you ladies! Lovely performances. I'm sure our audience agrees.
SIGN - APPLAUSE
Host: So now onto our POINTS! Each team must write down one positive and one irritation about a culture other than their own. Ladies take up your pens. You have 30 SECONDS. GO!
Timing can be done either exactly or by the unintelligent assistant counting on her fingers.
Scribbling, conferring, scribbling etc amongst contestants.
Assistant notifies that the 30 second has ended.
Host: Time is up. Curries - what are your answers?
Indian 1: Hold up paper read aloud: BLACK AFRICAN PEOPLE SPEAK REALLY LOUDLY
BLACK AFRICAN PEOPLE HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR
Host: Congratulations you have TWO POINTS!
Points added to the score board
Host: The Committee - your answers please.
Black 1: Hold up paper read aloud: WHITES DON'T UNDERSTAND OTHER CULTURES
WHITES ARE GOOD AT KEEPING SECRETS
Host: Congratulations you have TWO POINTS!
Points added to the score board
Host: And Whities - your answers please.
White 1: Hold up paper read aloud: INDIANS STICK TOGETHER AND DON'T SHARE
INDIANS ARE SENSITIVE TO ALL RELIGIONS
Host: Congratulations you have TWO POINTS.
Points added to the score board. Assistant puts in the totals for all the teams as she goes along.
Host: So ladies and gents that means each team has a total of FIVE POINTS! It seems that all 3 teams are evenly balanced, but unfortunately that is all we have time for folks. All three teams have issues and ideas and ALL THREE TEAMS, according to our very democratically awarded points system, are ALL EQUAL! So a big round of congratulations to all our teams for being such good sports! (Everyone applauds and the teams shake hands) Now if the teams want to be silly and fight for who the winner is, they can go back stage. Otherwise we have great Curry food waiting for us outside (Curries wave), great dance music from our Committee's taxi sound system (Committee waves) and a non-fraudulent, unified fundraising party for the Coloured community - thanks to our Whities (Whities wave).
Thanks to our sponsors and our live studio audience. Good night and God Bless, we hope you chose to join the party!
Lights fade to party music as everyone is having a party
THE END




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