“I was having the worst time possible after my mother Britanny died. I was living in San Francisco and my dad doesn’t spoil me, and I don’t think he even likes me that much. I have good friends. They listen whenever I share my feelings. Okay well I only have one good friend. She is a best friend. Everyone always says we are dating, I wish we were, but that isn’t the point. We are next door neighbors, and I watch her study in her bedroom window sometimes. If I’m lucky, in the morning, I can he her getting dressed for school.”

            “Her name is Kendra, and we’ve been best friends since kindergarten, when we met. She was the only person who would talk to me; everyone else thought I was weird. Probably because their parents told them my mother was an emo. But as for me I’m different, I’m very friendly, and when my dad can’t take care of me, I go over to Aunt Cassie’s house. She isn’t even my aunt; she was my mom’s best friend, so I don’t even know why I call her aunt. She has I kid about my age, except when I come over he is always at a “friends house,” he is one of the people that think I’m weird too. Kendra is the only one that will hang out with me. We walk to school together everyday, and the time came in tenth grade when she had a boyfriend. That is when I became emo. Instead of going to school, I would go to the mall to get new clothes and to the store to get cigarettes. Kendra would call me ever so often after school at home and say, “Where the fuck were you today. You keep not coming to school and bugs the hell out of me!!!!” So then I say “There comes a time in every boy’s lifetime when you have to make decisions. I have made my decisions. My actions are not up to you Kendra.” Then she says “Whatever” and hangs up the phone. That’s when I decided to do something.

She doesn’t walk to school with me anymore, she walks with the cool guy, Andrew Clementine (her boyfriend). So I come to school dressed emo, and Kendra starts to cry. I don’t go to classes I just wanted Kendra to see me like this. Her reaction was just terrible, she ran into the girls’ bathroom. She broke up with Andrew, and wouldn’t come to school either. That is when I decided to commit suicide. I climbed to the top of the golden gate bridge, I strapped a 200 pound weight to my legs and jumped off. I could feel myself hit rock bottom and then slowly I started to slowly feel no pain. The last words I ever said to Kendra, I would take back to say something different. And the last words I ever said was “Fuck you dad.” Now that I didn’t regret that because I hated my dad like he hated me. But I bet aunt Cassie and Kendra were crying themselves to sleep when they found out.”

“Excuse my bad handwriting, but this is Matt Tanner, Brad’s dad. I’m not sorry that he killed himself, because I know that part of it was because of me. I ripped out all the pages from his journal and now it’s mine.”