Patient: Anya Frinz
Main Assigned Doctor: Dr. Rain Liz
    
    I walked into Anya's room to give her her lunch. As I walk in, her face is frowning. Anya can't speak, literally. She is also my favorite patient. Anya is twelve years old. She is one of the cancer patients. There is a tumor in her brain. She's bald from the chemotherapy. She tells us how she's feeling by playing a song.
    As soon as I set the tray down, she turns on the stereo. I don't recognize the song. Anya holds up her white board,"I'm Not Okay by My Chemical Romance" it says. Apparently, today isn't a good day for Anya.
    "More chemo?" I ask, sitting on the edge of her bed. She nods her head.
    I remember the first song Anya ever played for us. "Cancer by My Chemical Romance". It was obvious that she liked that band. It had been a short song. It almost made me cry when she played it. Tears had dripped down her face while the song played, and I had hugged her.
    Anya's parents weren't around much. They were busy off working. They had lots of money, so they didn't really need to work. Chemotherapy is expensive, but it's not a problem for the Frinz's. I always hung around with Anya when I wasn't with the other patients. I ate lunch with her, and we'd watch old movies in her room. No one else is in the room with Anya, so she's all alone. Anya had made a friend with one other cancer patient, but she got to leave because she had been cured.
    "Well, just so you know, Jason will be in there today." I said, winking at her. She blushed and smiled. Jason was one of the other doctors...A young doctor. He was only in his twenties, just like me. Anya had a crush on Jason. It wasn't hard to figure it out. She started writing on her board. She held it up.
    "Good to know." It said. I smiled at her. Then she erased that and wrote something else,"Can I please have some apple juice?" I nodded.
    "Sure." I flashed a smile at her and left. I went down the elevator and to the cafeteria. As I walk in, I run into Jason.
    "Hey Rain." Jason said.
    "Oh hey.." I said, trying to navigate around him and to the drinks. He wouldn't let me.
    "Whatcha doing?" I looked at his bright green eyes and his medium lengthed, dark, brown hair.
    "Getting an apple juice for Anya." I told him and his eyes glittered.    
    "How is Anya today anyways?" I shook my head.
    "Not great. She played a song called I'm Not Okay."
    "Oh." He said frowning.
    "But I know something that would cheer her up." I told him.
    "What's that?" He said smiling.
    "You bringing her her apple juice." He laughed.
    "Sure. Why not?" He went and grabbed an apple juice. He joined me at the elevator.
    "She's excited you know." He looked at me confused.
    "About what?"
    "You doing her chemo." I said, looking him straight in the eye. He smiled and pressed the button in the elevator.
    "Well Anya should be even more excited than that..." I looked at him.
    "Why?" He smiled.
    "Because according to last weeks test, her tumor is shrinking." My mouth gaped open.
    "Oh my God that's great!" The elevator doors opened and we stepped out and headed for Anya's room.
    As we walked, I felt Jason's eyes on me.

    "Thank you." The whiteboard said. Jason smiled.
    "Hey no problem." Jason said back. I stood by one of the chairs in the back of the room, watching Anya's loving expression. I laughed at it in my mind.


    After chemo was done, Anya wasn't feeling so great. We were watching "Save the Last Dance" when Jason came in.
    "Rain? Can I talk to you for a minute?"
    "Sure." Then I turned to Anya. "I'll be right back." She nods.
    I walk into the hallway with Jason.
    "What is it? What's wrong?" Jason was frowning. That was never a good sign.
    "Anya isn't getting better."
    "But this morning, you said.." He stopped me.
    "It'll take at least another year before the entire tumor goes away. She won't be able to live that long." I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
    "How long?"
    "Well, if she continues to.."
    "I asked how long." I said harshly.
    "Four months." He said quietly.
    "I won't tell her. You will." I tell him. He nods and walks into Anya's room. Although Anya can't make a noise, I know she's crying. She's too young to die. She's only twelve for God's sake. Why was this happening? I walk to the supply closet. I always hide here. I have another patient to attend to soon.
    I begin crying. I'm crying silently, when Jason walks in.
    "How did you know I'd be here?" I choked out.
    "You always go in here."
    "How would you know?"
    "I see you come in here all the time."
    "You've been watching me?" I ask. It was dark inside the closet, but I could tell he was blushing.
    He looked in my eyes. I'd never really realized how beautiful his eyes really were. He was a year older than me, I now remembered.
    Then he pressed his lips against mine. I was shocked, stunned to be exact. That's when I stopped it.
    "I have to go." I mumbled out and ran out of the closet. I wiped off my tears, and made it so you couldn't tell I had been crying. I walked into Anya's room and she immediately turned the stereo on.
    "Surrender by Barlowgirl." The whiteboard read. That's when I let a tear slip.
    "No, Anya. We aren't going to surrender. Not now. We've come so far." I tell her. She's not crying.
    "I want to die with you by my side." She wrote.
    "I won't let you die. No, no." I said, sobbing. She put her hand on my shoulder and I looked up. She looked me straight in the eye, as if telling me it was okay.


    September 12, four months later, Anya died, with me by her side.



Here are the lyrics to Cancer by My Chemical Romance:


Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
All my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know

That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you


Here are the lyrics to I'm Not Okay by My Chemical Romance:
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)


Here are the lyrics to Surrender by Barlowgirl:

My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen.
So many years I?ve shaped each one
Reflecting my heart, showing who I am.
Now you?re asking me to show
What I?m holding Oh so tightly.
Can?t open my hand; can?t let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can?t you let me go?
Chorus
Surrender, surrender
You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can?t you see
My dreams are me, My dreams are me
Say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life.
Told me the world has yet to see
What you can do with one
That?s committed to your call.
I know of course what I should do
That I can?t hold these dreams forever.
But if I give them now to you
Will you take them
Away forever?
Or can I dream again?
Chorus
Surrender, surrender
You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can?t you see
My dreams are me, My dreams are me
yeahh...saaayyyaaaayyaa...u say
..yeaahhh
Chorus
Surrender, surrender
You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can?t you see
My dreams are me, My dreams are me
surrender....