I walk this lonely road, cold, dead inside. Nothing will ever
bring me joy again. Nothing can replace what I have lost. My heart
craves for the love of one who loves another. It cries out for her in
the night, but to no answer.
She is far away in another place, oblivious to my eternal
pain which she causes. She is in a place where the sun smiles
down on her face, but here, the fire burns mine. The sun mocks
my pain. The lonely moon, my only friend.
Every night I think of her. Memories flood my mind, first the
good, then the bad. Every night my heart is torn from my chest
and crushed before me. I pray for Death to release me from this
world of pain. I beg for him to come, but he never does. Am I to suffer
Alone, wandering, waiting for her to save me from this
place, but I know she will never come. No one will help me, no one
can. My heart will not allow it. I wish to go on, but my heart stays
with her. My heart is stupid, my mind is wise, my spirit, broken.
They can not agree, but they must. They have to. For how
can one live if they don’t? One can’t, it is impossible. So do I live?
My heart beats, but does that mean I am living? For my heart
beats, but it has no reason to, and if my heart has no reason
to beat, why does it still? Am I truly alive?
Am I dead? I feel dead, but my heart still beats, my lungs
still breathe, how? My spirit tells them to stop, my mind tells them
to beat and to breathe, my spirit screams at my mind to quiet. My
heart doesn’t listen to either, it does what it wants.
What the heart wants the heart gets. But what if what the heart
wants can’t be had? Who controls what it can’t have? She does.
Why can’t my spirit have what it wants? My spirit wants to be free,
but my heart belongs to one whose heart belongs to another.
My spirit will never be free. I know that now. All that is left
for me is to walk .To walk this lonely path, quiet, cold,