Missed Opportunity and a Look Back
Wow! There she goes! I see her enter the
room, me sitting on the other side, against the
wall. Oh! Here she comes! She sees me!
…But only for a second, she veering off to the left, the smell
of her perfume introducing her to me faster than she could (not
that she ever would), as Perfection! For a brief moment, I
float on a euphoric high, the olfactory glands slipping into a
frenzied state of sensory overload.
I study her as soon as I
gather myself, picking my eyes (and jaw), up off the
floor. She is right beside me now,
putting food on a plate better than anyone ever
could!! Enamored with her, it is hard to
act - hard to act on the perturbing idea to introduce myself
and just talk to her. I swallow, forcing
my way pass the huge knot sitting in my throat.
I sit there, paralyzed; and
in that second, I understand how someone who is newly-confined
to a wheelchair, realizes and sees for the first time that
their dream of becoming a professional athlete, a NORMAL
professional athlete, is no more. But
this - this is much worse, isn't it?! Because I always have it
worse than the next person. ALWAYS! And
nobody can tell me differently…for it is gone…SHE is
gone! Opportunity was her name, and I
missed her, she so close I could touch her, leaving sooner than
she actually ever does, for the striking, appealing, figure
glances at me with soulful, smiling eyes.
There, floating within those depths, can be found
prospects, hopes, dreams, and inspirations.
Turning on the balls of her feet, with plate in hand,
she finally DOES head off, back from where she came.
Yes! There she goes! And
there she has gone…And as soon as she leaves the room, I become
the strongest, bravest, coolest manly-man ever!!
But then, I realize she really isn't here
anymore. And neither am I, for I am a
shell, a cadaver, and the only thing I organically experience
is the lingering scent of her "Perfection", revisited, with a
"Nightmare-Before-Christmas" twist, noxious and rotten, better
known now as "Regret". Her essence has
soured. And at that very moment, I die,
slipping back into the cold and dark womb of
nonexistence…alone. And forgotten.