Hurt, anger, depression, grief, regret. They can scar you for a
lifetime. Turn into one horrible, indescribable feeling, ruining
you from the inside out.
It's like a black hole, sucking in all the good times from my life, only leaving the horrific memories alone.
It's a journey I seem to never be able to complete. Right now I'm gasping, struggling, running through the branches; the branches of suffering, the dark days of my life. No matter how hard I try, I can't escape them.
The reason I want to escape the branches so badly?
Simple-it's because the branches are destroying me. Leaving the once cheery self for a new me. A violent, destructive,psychotic me, raging, unstoppable.
My old self is gone. Like a cocoon,nevergoing back to its original state. Ah, the beauty ofmetamorphosis.
But instead of a beautiful,majesticcreature; I am a monster. The worlds' most hated people think I'm like them.
I destroy everything in my path, having no mercy, leaving destruction wherever I go. Destruction is my only allie now.
A lot has changed since I was a kid. I have learned from my mistakes. I'm smarter. I now know what's right from wrong, yet I don't do the rational thing most of the time.
I'munappealingto the people who have been told they areworthless. I am one of those people. I am looked downuponby practicallyeveryone.
My life, it is not normal. Never was, never will be. Though I might be wrong. Some people say there is no such thing as 'normal'. Normal apparently doesn't apply to anyone because we are all different in our own ways, butmostof us have lots of things in common.
I still consider myself unordinary.
Now I am always angry or depressed. When I'm angry I feel as if everyone's trying to ruin my life, be a burden to me on purpose, as if the universe is in on some plan to ruin me.
When I'm depressed I wan to cry. It feels as if the world is on my shoulders, crushing me with its heavy weight, while I'm begging for the universe to stop the cruel joke.
I'm one of these to emotions, every day. Once in awhile it'll be something different, but hat's on rare occasions. ButoccasionallyI feel...numb.
I'm one of these toemotions, every day. I have shunned everyone I know and love out of my life. They don't understand me. No one does.
It is like the (still new) depressed, angry, confused, changed me has took over. She has won the battle, the war of controlling my body, my mind, everything.
Now I am no one. Depressed, confused, angry, but what else? There are no words to describe me. I don't know who I am anymore. What has happened to me? Hopefully it will stop soon.
So now I ask myself the question I have been pondering about for over a year.
...Who am I?