Today was the day. It was finally here. I have dreaded this day from the beginning. Every minute felt like an hour passed by and it killed me. Tick. Tick. Tick. My eyes were glued to the clock for hours. I wanted it to stop. I wanted everything to stop. Today was the day when he had to leave. We would be pulled apart and it would truly be like a movie. I was forced to be strong. I could not crumble because if I did, he would break. We both had to be strong.
I'm a fantast, I'm a dreamer. I dreamt about this day, each time with a different dialect and a different setting. What will we say? How will we act? What will be our last words? I didn't know and I never wanted to find out. It brought tears to my eyes just thinking about it and I did not want this day to come. But it's here. And it's near its end.
"Hey," I heard him say, breaking me of my thoughts.
I looked up at him and smiled, grasping his hand in mine. "Hey."
"How was your day?" He asked, his eyes bearing into mine. I quickly looked away as we walked, our footsteps perfectly in sync with one another.
"It was good." I lied. "Kind of short though."
"Yeah," He agreed.
"Hey," He stopped walking, gently squeezing my hand and hugging me. We're surrounded by buses and all I can hear are their engines, their roaring engines. They mocked me. They're snickering to each other. They're evil. They want to separate us. "Are you okay?"
I took a deep breath and blinked a few times. I peered into his eyes, wanting to smile but couldn't. "Yeah, I'm fine." I whispered.
He softly smiled at me. He wanted me to believe that he was okay too but I knew he wasn't and he knew that I wasn't either. His eyes were slick with water, his bottom lip slightly quivering. He was on the verge of tears. If he cried, I would cry. I don't want him to cry. I don't want either of us to cry. "I love you."
The pain in my chest had grown to extreme lengths and my eyes quickly teared up. "I love you too."
He kissed me gently; a soft peck. And then again. I hugged him tight, I didn't want to let go. "I don't want to go." He said.
"Me either," I said. "I never want you to go."
I stared into his beautiful light brown eyes, on the edge of tears, the pain in my chest almost unbearable. It's almost time to leave. "I'll miss you..." The words escaped my mouth and lingered in the air. I've said it before and it was an unpleasant reminder of the first time I panicked about him leaving. He reassured me that everything was going to be okay and since then I have tried so hard not to think about it.
"I'll miss you too." He kissed me again but this time he let his lips linger on mine.
The buses roared another roar, telling us it was time to go. My heart fell through my chest and I knew he was going to say it again. He always says it one last time. "I love you."
I watched a single teardrop stream down his face. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I kissed him on his cheek and quickly whispered, "I love you too." He was okay with crying around me but I could not cry around him. I just couldn't.
I pulled away from him, repeating my words. "I love you too." I began to walk away, our fingers slowly untangling themselves. I didn't look at him, I just turned away. I hopped onto my bus without another look back. I picked the very first seat in the front so I can sit alone. I laid my head against the window, closing my eyes and take deep breaths. Tears began to spill and I quickly wiped them away. I could still feel his touch, his kiss. I could still hear his voice.
Ten months. I wouldn't see him for ten months, maybe more. I could barely go a few days without him, let alone ten months. This was going to be hard. But I'm a fantast. I can do this.