Final Will

I am here watching my own funeral, I can see my family

gathering around me, in tears, as the priest pray over my

casket. They’re lowering, my corpse into the hard cold

ground were I rest. It’s funny not too long ago I was

laughing about death being a joke, a creature that ends the

chapter of a story. Now here I am dead never to return.

This all started by a journal, my life in a book, written so

long ago. A life which was craved in stone before I was ever

born. The mystery of my life, the pain, the loss that

appeared with depression, suffering, anxiety, that come with

being alive in this world. I would have never imaged such an

ending. I was 15 years old about to turn 16 in a couple of

months. Not meant to die this way. I had my whole life ahead

of me.

 

I guess we can start of with what I’m doing at the moment

But I’m going to start by telling you about myself. Since

this whole story is about me. I’m 15 years old, my name is

Ryan. I live in Vivien Village. Everything is to change

colours and the day is getter shorter. I was driving

to get the errands done before I went work this afternoon.

By the time I knew it, I was in the water. The death would

have been peaceful if I died they. Nobody to torture me. In

it’s cold hands that were to devour me. This girl come to

send me free from it’s cold grasp. After a moment of sharing

into her eyes, she left. Hi, wait. Who are you? What am I

doing here? Who am I? Ryan bombast the girl with questions.

Then I started to walk. Trying to remember who and what I

am. I meet this women, she take me to an orphanage that she

helps at. I search for a place to call home like a lost

cub. All I can remember is, I had no one. I had this blanket

rapped around with sadness, aloneness that has been placed

around my fatigue body. The women the find my is adopting me

to be her son. She lacks the ability to have child. I’m

standing outside the old mansion that I will be living in.

From now on. What will the family will think of me? The

women made her nephew Jonny show me around the mansion. On

the turn I get lost. I did discovered this room , which had

piles of boxes. It contained articles, pictures, letters,

about a boy that his lost his parents. When he was three

years old. Saw I picture of the couple with they son sitting

under I tree. Is this were the slept? He heard someone

yelling behind him. What are you doing here? You don’t

belong here? Nothing, I just get lost. Seriously you get

lost? You were following me won’t you? You’re a bothersome

person to be around. Now follow me and this time don’t get

lost. I can try not to get lost. Laying in my room, will I

think about different things such as what is written in the

articles and letters. I have find when I accidental enters a

room that was closed for the viewing. But one thought the

remains with me is that “I fear one day, I will have to face

a frightful opponent, that hunts me, like a wolf hunts it’s

prey. Wins the prize he find near the prey.” The family

brought me a dog to cure the aloneness I feel. His name is

Shredder. He is a German shepherd. I named him after this

band that I find interesting. I take Shredder for I walk

this afternoon near the Vivien Bay .People say this is were

I nearly drowned but I still can’t seem to remember. As to

what happened and the reason the car went into the bay. I

met my survivor, the girl that saved me. We socialized about

silly stuff. She told me, her name is Elena. That she is my

neighbour. We talked for awhile about life, our feelings,

and our adopted family. We both are orphanages‘ in the same

place my family adopted me. Which I found odd in I way since

I have never seen or heard about her from other people. We

talked for a short period of time. I herded back my home

were people waited up for me. I went to my room since it was

bedtime. I had trouble sleeping, so I decided to go back to

the couples room. I take my time reading the articles,

letters, and looking at the pictures. Hours have passed

without me realized that it was six in the morning. He

started to leave before he heard footsteps coming up the

stairs. I went to my room to sleep for the rest of the

remaining time. I acquired this private detective, that was

not expensive to pay for. A hundred dollars per hour. To

assemble information regarding the boy in the articles and

letters, which I found in the abandoned room. I notice, the

differences that is happening to me each day. Such as

headaches, unexplained weight loss, being tired often, I

look paler then usually. I dream about a little boy, the

little boy in the picture I found. The boy was playing

outside. The boy that ran to those people that were calling

to him. Smiling at him, hugging him, saying I will not leave

you behind ever again. Why am I dreaming of the kid and his

parents? When Ryan wake up to find himself in a small room.

Decorated white walls with a small TV and a curtain going

across the room. Where am I? Your in the hospital. Why am I

here? You fainted at the dinner table while eating. I have

Good and bad news. Which one do you went to hear first?

The good news doc. If your family agrees to let you stay in

The hospital, you might have a second change at life. What

are you talking about? I’m getting to that. The bad news is

You have cancer. What do I have? You have cancer. Your

Lying right. No Ryan I’m not. So much thoughts were crossing

My mind. What did I do to deserve this? I’m I that hated by

the world. Is the treatment painful? Why am I dreaming about

The missing boy? It’s been four months in this hospital. The

treatment isn’t working well. I still remain weak, and

unhealthy like the first day I come to this hospital.

The doctors have tried everything but nothing works. My

journal howls as he devours the thoughts that haunt me. The

Detective has come by to visit me in this hospital. I hope

it’s good news. I can’t handle any bad news at this moment.

He has uttered the questions to all my questions. I can’t

Believe it. He has told me, I the boy in the picture. I’m

the boy in the letters and articles. I have been dreaming

about me and my family all this time. Can’t believe I had a

Family that loved me, cared for me. I wasn’t all alone all

this years ago. I believe in what my older brother Jonny

said to me before I died. ‘Things come true over time if you

have faith.” My wish has been granted. I have people that

well be saddened by my departure.

　

I am written this to say thank you for everything you have

done for me. For helping me when I needed you, my family.

Thank you for being they for me when I needed you. I love

you, my family. I leave behind, my dog Shredder in your

care. Take care and thank you once again. ‘Life is a road of

possibilities.”

　

 

Two months later on May 7,1999

Jonny you done cleaning Ryan’s room? I’m done. He shouted.

He discovered Ryan’s journal laying on the ground in front

Of his eyes. As he read the journal, he take a sit on his

Younger brother’s bed. Reading out loud to his dog Shredder.