I was so excited to tell you about him.
I was bursting in anxiety to tell you.
I can't wait to share giggles and laughter with you that night.
I was actually expecting support and advice from you.
But guess what...
All I got from you was rejection,disfavor and....
....and just pure disgust!
I was so hurt.
I waited for my brain to assess all the things you we're saying.
But the words "I don't know you anymore!"
made me understood everything.
Those simple words had such strong impact
in them that it felt like a huge hole was carved out of my life.
A sob escaped from my chest when you
said those dagger-like words.
I tried to do the opposite.
Tried to do the understanding,
asked you if we could talk about it.
But you said...
"I'll never make the same mistake that you did! Never!"
Those words was like a slap in the face that I actually jerked my face
away from the screen.
I then felt regret.
I should'nt have told you.
I knew you'd react this way but then again,
I thought "No, she'd understand. She's my best friend for goodness' sakes!
She's my sister too."
So, I told you about him.
About the guy who made my heart beat again.
About the boy who I waited every night to have a conversation with.
About the guy who gave me sweet dreams.....
Waiting for your squeals and teases for me.
Waiting for your approval and understanding.
I got the exact opposite.
I really thought you'd react differently, I really thought I
was wrong about you.
I really really, really thought you'd understand!
But I was wrong.
Heck, I was DEAD WRONG.
You don't understand at all.
'cause you've never felt love from another guy.
Because you dn't know what it feels like
to love someone and that person gives you love back.
Then it came to me...
"YOU'RE STILL YOUNG."
Those words slipped through my mouth unexpectedly.
Those words made me understand why
you reacted that way.
You're just a child.....
Who experienced pure pain because your
parents were divorced and had family issues.
You saw how irresponsible your dad was.
You saw that it made your momma cry.
And as you grow, you saw that
a lot of women, young and old,
cry and weep and kill themselves because of
the beings called "boys"
Making you see that men are nothing but savages!
And so, you were scared...
To feel the pain your mom felt.
To experience what every hurt women go through.
You were scared.....
A tear escaped my eye and I did'nt mind
wiping it off.
I silently offered it as a gift of love and sympathy to you.
A faint smile formed on my face...
Then, I thought to myself...
"That's why I'm here..."
To help you, to share your every tear.
To catch you every time you feel like falling and
to cheer you up whenever you're down.....
And I, your sister/best friend/jester, made
you remember every pain and hurt and tear
that you struggled to get over with.
I was so ashamed yet I felt like I
wn the lottery...
I undertsand you better now...
Realizing everything, I then promised you that I would never let
another guy be an obstacle in our friendship ever again...
Love you Bessie...