Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it
No matter how unbearable this misery gets
It was all too much, nothing was working out anymore. I looked down at the expanse of space between the bridge and the river. It was a far jump and the water was unbearably icy, ready to put anybody in shock and not give them a chance to be saved.
I took off my sneakers and placed them next to the side of the bridge and breathed in deeply. There was a note inside the right shoe explaining what had happened to anybody who wondered. Nobody would care. My mom’s family wrote me off when she died and my dad couldn’t stand the sight of me. The guy I was living with was married with a child and he hadn’t felt it important enough to tell me. I had no friends and worked at as a waitress. There was nothing left.
The cement was cold under my bare feet and the wind froze the tip of my nose. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I leaned down and got ready to take off right before a hand touched my stomach.
My eyes flew open in surprise and I almost toppled forward, but the hand caught me right before.
“Whoa miss, you okay?” a man said. I turned around and looked at him. His eyebrows narrowed with concern, I brushed his hand away.
“Excuse me, but I would like to get back up there,” I said. He was taken back with my statement.
The guy was taller than me and he could probably carry me kicking and screaming, but he didn’t. “Do you know what you just said?” he asked.
I nodded my head slowly. “I want to feel the wind on me and fly before I end my life. There’s nothing left in me. Everything has already died,” I told him staring at the water. It would only take a few steps for me to get my dream.
His rough hand touched my cheek and his green eyes stared into mine. “How about instead you come with me?” he asked offering his hand.
I slapped it away and went to walk around him. His hand fell on the small of my back, not pulling me away but causing me to hesitate. “I’m sorry sir, but I don’t even know you. How could I trust you?”
He smiled without humor. “That’s very true, but I’d like to get to know you and you can trust me. I know you want to jump, but I’m offering a choice: instead of dying how about you come with me?”
I shook my head. “I could be anything,” I stammered. “I could be a serial killer, a prostitute, or a drunk!”
“You could be,” he agreed. “If you were a bad person though you would bring people down with you, not be willing to end your life. Everybody goes through this girl, but the battle is life and you can say you don’t want to live, but people believe that all of the time. We all think of self-conclusion, but you’re not supposed to act on it. Life gets miserable and it can be unbearable sometimes, but you have to fight. I gave you the choice. Now you have to choose.”
I looked down at the ground and then my shoes. I could feel his eyes on me. I took a breath and stepped away from the edge. “Fine you win,” I told him. “If you hurt me though, I’ll come back to this spot and have my chance to fly before I die.”
He smiled. “I’d be lying to you if I told you that life will be easy because it won’t, but you’re not alone. Trust me. I know exactly what you’re going through,” he said offering his hand again.
I shook my head and ignored the hand. “How could you possibly know what I’m going through? You don’t even know me!” I insisted, wondering if I should change my mind already.
His eyes became sad. “I know because minutes before you got here I was going to jump too,” he said. His hand brushed down, giving up. I could at least give him one night.
I took his hand giving everything over for one night for him to prove to me that he was better than flying. “I’m Maria.”