I sat in cold, gray hospital room, watching Hunter sleep, fighting the urge myself. I pulled my feet up Into the chair in an effort to warm my feet. My hair fell into my eyes and I brushed it out of the way as a nurse came in. “Miss Burlam, you must get some rest.” She said with a sad smile. “I’m not leaving.” I snapped. “Would you at least take a pillow and blanket?” She asked. “Please.” I replied with a yawn. She gave me a warm smile and disappeared into the hallway, closing the door behind her. I slipped over to Hunter’s bed. I wrapped my hand around his icy cold one. “Don’t leave me, Hunter. I love you too much. I couldn’t live without you by my side.” I whispered, tears filled my eyes as I remembered the doctor telling his mom there was a small chance he would make it. “Well there’s still a chance, right?!” I exclaimed. “A small chance.” The doctor repeated. “But a chance!!” I exclaimed. “Yes.” He told me. A small smile crossed my lips as I knew Hunter might be able to walk with me to school again like he used to. He might wrap his arms around me and rest his head on my shoulder and whisper something in my ear, making me burst out laughing, again. He might be able to whisper ‘I love you.’ in my ear as he hurried to his next class and I to mine. The faint beeping of the machines stood out from everything, telling me he was still breathing, still here with me, still living.

“I‘ll love you forever. I‘ll like you for always. As long as I‘m livin‘ my baby you‘ll be.” She sang his song to him. “Angel,sweetheart, here’s you pillow and blanket.” The nurse said as she entered the room once more. I wiped my eyes and stood up. “Thanks.” I said and tried to smile. “Oh, sweetie. Don’t try and hide your tears. Sometimes, all a person needs is a good cry.” She said and gave me a hug. “Thank you.” I choked out, letting the tears fall. “You’re very welcome.” She said, kindly and left the room. I turned to Hunter and stood there a moment, watching the rise and fall of his chest, imagining the warmth of his body warming mine. His soft fingers wiping away my tears. I walked back to the chair and got into the most comfortable position I could. I rested my head upon my pillow and pulled the skimpy cover over my tired body. I tried like crazy to fight the sleep, but my eyes drifted closed. I opened them quickly before I fell into a deep sleep. I sat up in the chair and slipped over next to Hunter. I grasped his icy hand and held it in mine. “Hunter, you know I love you and everything about you. I love the way you flip your hair and the way you make me laugh when I’m crying. I love you. It’s as simple as that.” I whispered. “And I’ll never quit loving you.” I whispered, so quietly, I could barely hear it. I closed my eyes and a tear fell onto his hand. I quickly wiped it away and dried my eyes. “Good night, I’ll talk to you in the morning.” I said as if we were on the phone. I imagined him saying, “Night, baby. Sweet dreams.” I smiled at the memory of us on the phone until the wee hours of the night. I slipped back into the chair and checked my watch. 1:38am it read. I yawned and closed my eyes. “Just a few minutes.” I said quietly and pressed a button my watch to wake me up in ten minutes. I fell asleep to the faint beeping of his life-line machines.

I never heard my watch, I never heard the machines, his life-line, beep that steady beep, alerting everyone that there wasn’t a pulse, I never heard the nurses and doctors run into the room and do their thing, I never heard the nurses shouting ‘No pulse! Try another shock!’, I didn’t hear anything. When I woke up, the bed was empty and a puffy eyed nurse was making the bed. It was the nurse who had been taking care of her and Hunter. “Where’s Hunter?!” I screamed. She looked up in surprise. “Angel….he…he passed this morning.” She replied. “Don’t say that! Where did he go?!” I screamed, tears filling my eyes. “Angel, calm down. Please, calm down.” She told me. “I’m not going tocalm down until I know where Hunter is!!” I screamed even louder, causing a few doctors and nurses to check and see what was going on. Hunter’s doctor was one of the ones who checked on what was going on. “Angel, what’s wrong?” He asked. “Where is Hunter?!” I shouted. “I’m sorry, but he…um, Hunter, he pa-” I ran out of the room and down the hall. I opened the stairwell doors and ran up the steps as high as high as I could go then flung open the roof door. I stepped out onto the roof and slammed the door closed behind me. I leaned against it for support, but my knees gave and I crumpled into a heap in front of the door. Tears streamed down my face like a river and my heart felt like someone had just ripped it apart as slowly as possibly, causing me more pain than I could endure. I let out a scream. “Why did you leave me?!” I shouted out. “Huh, Hunter?! I loved you!! I would’ve died for you! Died, Hunter!! I could’ve gone in your place! Anyone could’ve gone in your place!! ANYONE!!” I screamed as loud as I could and stood up. “Why did you leave me, Hunter?” I felt someone’s arms wrap around my waist and rest their head on my shoulder. “My love for you will never die. Always remember that.” A voice whispered in my ear. My tears stopped. It felt like time had stopped. Nothing moved, you couldn’t feel the slightest breeze it was so still. The arms unwrapped my waist and the weight of someone’s head left my shoulder. Something inside my head clicked, screaming ‘That was Hunter!! It was him!!’ and another part screamed, ‘He’s dead! Gone! It couldn’t have been him!!’ I ignored the voice saying it couldn’t be him, cause I knew it was. Everything left my mind and I opened the door.

I ran back to his room and saw it was empty. I stood in the doorway and looked around the room. I pictured his pale body laying on the bed and me curled up in the chair. I squeezed my eyes shut and pictured him at soccer practice. His smiling face once he saw me in the stands. I would wave to him and he would give me this big grin and wave back. I turned around and promised I would always remember the good times and not the bad. I walked out the hospital and didn’t think about him being dead, anything bad about him, I just remembered my favorite things. His hair, his smile, his eyes, and everything else about him. His love for me and his optimism and everything else that made Hunter, Hunter. Before I got into my car, I heard a voice on the breeze. “I love you.”