Fisrt Feeling- Hate.
Hate: Is what I feel towards my mom's boyfriend, Kenny. He's always complaining about something that doesn't need to be complained about. Whenever I use the phone, and it dies, he gets an attitude and yells about it. Seems like that's all he's good for is laying in bed and yelling at people for no reason. I have HAD ENOUGH of him and am anticipating the day I don't have to wake up to see his face. Just seeing him pisses me off and I can't take being angry in my own home anymore.
Confusion: Is what I feel when I'm alone. I don't like being alone. If I'm alone for more than four hours, I have panic attacks. But in those four hours, I think. And, in the end, none of it makes any sense. I love who I am, love my friends, and I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love, but I'm just so cinfused most of the time and I'd like that to end but I know that's just a part of teenage life that I'm going to have to live with.
Anger: Is what I feel towards half of my family and the people who have lied to, and mislead me. I'm not a bad person. I love all those around me and care for the ones I don't even know. I just don't understand why people would lie and cheat and mislead other people in the first place. That right there, makes absolutely NO SENSE to me. If you're going to lie to someone and make THEIR life hell because yours sucks, you might as well wear a sign around your neck.
Love: Is what I feel towards the other half of my family, my amazing friends, and him. My family has always been there for me and I love them for that. They've supported me through all of the decisions I've made (good) and have helped me through the rough spots in my life. My friends, are all the same. Supportive. caring, loving, and have been there for me when I felt my family wasn't. The "him" I refer to, knows who he is. I wrote about him in one of my poems. He knows that I miss him when we aren't together and that I love spending time with him. He's such an amazing guy and I seriously think I'm falling for him. And if I do, I'll love him with all I have.
Feelings jumbled up and I can't control them. Guess I'll have to learn how.