The woods were dark and cold. Trees and branches were scattered closely together, causing me to have to push my way through thick brush. Snow was falling heavily. I could barely see, and the amount of it on the ground made it hard for me to move my feet. My legs were sore from the constant running I had done. I was running to leave everything behind me. I wanted to forget about my life and get away from it all. I could have gone back. I could have forgotten all about what had happened and return to the warmth, but I didn't want to. I knew that if I went back it would only get worse. So I couldn't go back, never again.
~It was close to being dark when I got home. Snow had just started falling, so there was a small layer of snow in my front yard. I pulled my car into the driveway, put it in park, and turned off the ignition. I grabbed my bags out of the passenger seat and got ready to leave the comforting warmth inside the vehicle. When I stepped out of my car, flakes immediately started sticking to my hair and eyelashes. I rushed over to the front door of my house and fumbled to get my key for the lock. Before I could find it, I heard the knob turn and watched the door open in front of me. In the doorway, my boyfriend stood there with a devilish grin plastered to his face. "Hey hun, welcome home."I looked up at him and grinned. To other people, they would have thought he was acting weird, but he acted this way all the time so for me it was normal.
I reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and he moved out of the way to let me through. I stepped inside to the warm house and headed towards the couch. I set my belongings down beside the coffee table and plopped down into the cushions. My boyfriend came over and sat down with me. He reached his arm around me to hold me closer, and I leaned into him, looking for a bit more heat to ward off the cold from outside. He kissed the top of my head and I snuggled up closer to him. Then, something caught my attention.
To me, my boyfriend had a certain smell that I was familiar with. It was usually a woodsy type of smell mixed with fresh mint. This smell was more pungent. The new smell was familiar, but it wasn't strong enough for me to tell what it was.
"Sweetheart, did you get some new cologne today?" I looked up at him with a curious face.
"No I haven't. Why?" he asked me back.
I shrugged my shoulders. He knew that when I shrugged my shoulders after I asked a question, it meant that I was just curious. He giggled at me, and then reached down to my face and kissed me on the lips. I kissed him back, thinking it was just going to be quick, but then he grabbed a hold of me and kissed me deeper. He moved me to where I was sitting on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and then kissed him repeatedly.
At first it was a simple session with him, soft and calm. Then he got rough with it. He grabbed my arms tighter and pulled me closer to him. He started biting my lower lip and tugged my jacket off of me. Then he went for my shirt. He pulled at it, but I forced to keep it on me. He pulled harder at it, and then when he realized he wasn't winning, he reached under the shirt and went for my bra. He licked my lips and then reached down to kiss my neck. I then pulled myself away from him. This wasn't like him. Something was wrong.
I pulled his hands away from where they were and held them away from me. I pushed his face away from my neck and he looked at me with a confused but hard grin.
"What's wrong babe? I thought you liked this?" He for me again, but I pushed him back forcefully and got off of the couch.
"Like this? No, I've never automatically wanted to do this. What is wrong with you?" I stared at him puzzled.
Out if the corner of my eye I saw something shining on the kitchen table. I looked over, and saw a brown beer bottle lying on its side, dripping what little was left inside of it. That's when I remembered the smell. It was alcohol. I couldn't believe this.
The smell of the alcohol was familiar to me because several years ago, my boyfriend was a really bad drunk. He had gotten into a lot of trouble with different gangs, but even when he had paid his debts to them and he knew he was safe, he would still drink away all of the stress it brought him. When I had met him, I knew he was like this, but I also knew that he could change. Eventually he did, and the drinking had never been a problem since. Why was he drinking now though? There shouldn't have been a reason for it.
"Why are you drinking? You promised me that you would never do it again. You promised me!" I screamed in his face. He stood up from the couch and came towards me.
"Look, honey, apparently there was one last debt I owed to an old buddy. He found me in town today. He forced me to pay the money, and then I started thinking about you. I didn't want to think about them finding you, so I needed something to calm my nerves." He looked at me and then shrugged his shoulders. He reached for me and tried to grab my shirt, but his fingers fumbled with the fabric.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. After all these years I thought I could trust him. I thought he was better than that. How could he do this to me? I ran to the kitchen to throw the bottle away. When I turned around from the table, he was standing right in front of me. His face was devilishly playful. He reached his arms around me and made it to where I was trapped between him and the table. I tried to push him off of me, but he stood there solid. He leaned down and kissed me hard. I could taste the beer on his breath. He laced his tongue in between my lips in attempt to French kiss me. His right hand reached behind my back and down into the beginning of my jeans.
I was able to get one of my arms out. I reached up and slapped his face with a lot of force. He jerked back and shook his head, trying to process the pain. Apparently I had hit him hard enough to snap him out of his drunken state, because he looked at me with a shocked and confused face.
Tears were rolling down my cheeks and little sobs could be heard coming from my throat. He looked at me with the saddest face. He tried to reach for me so he could comfort me and tell me his was sorry, but I backed away from him. He let me down. I couldn't live with someone who would be like that.
He came closer and closer to me, begging for forgiveness. I just got farther away until I reached the back door. I didn't know of any place else I could go from there, except for the forest behind the house. That was the only idea I had to get away from him, because I knew that if I went anywhere else, he would find me. I fumbled for the doorknob and burst through the frame.
I was running now, as fast as I could. I made it across the large field and looked back before I entered through the trees. My boyfriend was running after me, but he fell halfway through the open area. He looked up at me with a face full of snow and called out to me. The tears began to pour even more from my eyes. I turned around and sprinted into the tall pines, leaving all that I knew behind me.
~The sadness that had dripped down my cheeks was beginning to freeze. My face was becoming numb, so each time I pushed my way through thorns and twigs, I had no feeling when they scratched and cut me. I tried to run faster, in fear that he was looking for me, but my legs had given out on me and I fell to the ground.
When I looked up from the snow, I saw that I had made it to a clearing. The trees were thicker and more spread out and there was a few fallen logs. I crawled over to one of them and lay against it. I pulled myself into the fetal position and closed my eyes. I knew I didn't have anywhere else to go. I knew that what I had done was probably stupid. I didn't care. I knew I that this was probably going to be the end for me, so I chose to accept it.
My body grew colder with each second. The snow was pilling on top of me. My body became stiff. Every sense in me progressed slowly into a weaker state. I said goodbye to my life, and drifted into the longest slumber I would ever have.