Merciless Lover

He knew.

I was alone from the beginning. Being surrounded by so many people meant nothing to me if their prescence did not exist in my heart, therefore I was alone. Until I saw him, there was no one who stood out to me. He was different. It was like he wanted me to acknowledge his existence by appearing right in front of me with an extended hand and a smile that heated my cold heart. This new emotion upseted me and I begun to question why only he gave me this new kind of loneliness that I had never felt before. Why was it his hand I took to be led into a world much different than mine? What was this painful pinch in my heart that I enjoyed everytime I looked into your eyes? What word could describe such an awful, yet exciting feeling? I ignored all these questions because I knew that the answer would come soon enough. I was right. My last afternoon in his world had begun so peacefully, a chat between two friends. After I left for a few minutes I heard a bang and came back only to find him dead on the floor. This death wasn't beautiful, it was wretched and horrifying. It was quick and clean and a pool of blood surrounded the one I... I... I...

"Love. It is the emotion you felt when you were around this boy and it is the reason why you took his hand into his world. Now that this boy is gone what shall you do?"

The voice was right, what could I do? My vision was blurred by this water coming from my eyes. I was disgusted by this sight and my heart filled with pain. I held his smiling face in my hands as I wailed out at nothing.

"What shall you do? You still love this boy and yet he is too dead for you to tell him those words. So many words unsaid that you hold the regrets in your hands. Leave his world and return to your own or leave this world completely by picking up the gun next to you. What shall you do?"

I was silent. The tears still fell as I stared at the gun next to him. I understood it now. He knew. He knew that I was alone from the beginning and he understood that someone like me was forbidden to feel such emotions. Out of selfishness, to make my soul fall into an even darker world, he shot himself the one and only person who gave me such emotions. He was my greatest joy in the world and he killed himself to make me feel more pain... I picked up the gun.

"Poor girl."