The surgeon

“Don’t worry, everything would be alright” said my mum as I gave her yet another worried look.

“Ok love we’re taking you through now”, I was told, as my bed began to roll out of the room.

The pale coloured walls of the hospital corridor became narrow each second, as the trolley was slowly being pushed through. Staff passed by, people were blurs; I never felt as much fear as I felt at that moment. I was going into the operating theatre, I was going into surgery. What if they left something inside me? What if the anaesthesia wears off mid-surgery, but the paralysis doesn’t? I would be flooding in pain, but be disabled from screaming out. What if they decide to mess with my insides, rearrange it, just for fun? The questions drilled my head and made my heart pound fast and louder than it has ever done before in my entire life.

After the shortest journey, maybe less than a minute, I came under a multitude of bright lights, I couldn’t even see due to the white-spots blinding my eyes. I was covered in gowns and sheets; the whole thing was a confusing mess. I remember seeing two bright green eyes smiling down at me. How can eyes smile? I could just feel it. Then I entered a blank nothingness for a while.

The next thing I remember was feeling a stabbing pain in stomach. The pain was intense torture. I couldn’t move anything, I couldn’t even open my eyes. I could feel immense pain in my abdomen. I could feel the blood spurting out, I could feel them using their machines to vacuum my blood. I witnessed it all, horrified by my luck. How can u fear something so badly, then the worst possible scenario actually come true? To top it all, they were having a casual talk or joke now and again, whilst holding my insides in their hands. I don’t know if I felt more scared or more angry because the pain was enough as it was, I wanted to throw up so badly.

After a very long time or so it seemed, one of the staff screamed out, tears were pouring out my eyes; my eyes were watering from the pain. The room’s occupants went from casual to frantic. My arm was gripped with force and a sharp object punctured my skin fiercely. Someone came and opened my eyelids, and I saw those bright green eyes once more, before passing into blank slumber.

I next awoke in a ward. I was placed in a room with five other beds, most of the other patients were asleep. It was mid-afternoon by the look of the daylight flooding through the rare window in the room. I searched the ward for those green eyes once more, but they were nowhere to be seen. A nurse came by; she told me my surgery was done a few hours ago.

My appendix was out. I felt my stomach, it didn’t feel very empty, it felt the same. It didn’t even hurt in fact. I used my hands to feel it, to check whether anything was out of place, I felt a rough piece of skin, like soft raw meat with a piece of wire through it. I lifted the flatsheet so I could examine my scar properly. Just as I lifted my nightie to inspect, I heard a dry cough. I quickly put my nightie down and looked up. Those green eyes had arrived, finally and I was drowning in them.

It was the trainee surgeon, he explained about the anaesthesia complication, typical. Apparently there was a confusion about the whole thing, he explained that in few rare cases this sort of thing happens. I knew this would happen; I have such bad luck with everything. Still, I felt there was something about those eyes, there was a special magic in them but I didn’t know what. There was some connection, why was I drawn into them so? Before he left I peered down at his ring-finger, then silently waved him goodbye.

I called the nurse to draw my curtains so I could the damage to my lower abdomen. It was a tiny scar, in the shape of a heart, signature of the smiling green eyes. I looked up hoping to see them once more, but I knew that was the last time.