Growing up I can say I had a lot in life,

Loving parents, annoying teachers, wonderful siblings, annoying neighbours,

Some thought me good, some thought me spoilt

A variety of good and painful memories are mixed up in my head,

Hell, I know I was never a saint!

At eighteen I had what others called my first biggest fall,

And brought into this world a bouncing baby boy,

After sleepless nights of deciding wether he deserved to live or not.

But now I look at my boy and see no fall,

I see a blessing,

Whoever said I was a saint?

Come college life and I was there in full,

Having my fun and enjoying my age,

I was a mother,

But I was also in my twenties,

Some things in an age you just have to do,

I can never say I regret it,

But I never said I was a saint, did I?

Finally,out in the world at last,

Responsibilities calling harder and maturity finally settling in

I look back but don't regret a thing,

All my experiences made me who I am!

And I sure didn't turn out a saint!

Less than half an hour,

Thats the time it took to rock my world,

And send it in a spin that took what looked like forever to stop

I am HIV positive,

Is this the end?

Who to break the news to?

Family first,at least the ones I trust,

And the ones that are stronger,

Friends next, and watch most disappear, leaving me in the shadows,

And I would have stayed there longer too, if it hadn't been for other friends,

And of course, Family!

Now its out in the open,

Not just for my family and friends,

But for the whole world to see,

Losing more friends and family this time

I am sorry if it embarrases you,

To let others know you are associated with me,

But I have to think about me too,

And I have been in the shadows far too long

And now I seek the light,

It is painful for me too

To realize all I've been gathering for pearl were nothing but stones,

But now at least I know,

Whatever I gather from now on,

Will definately be pearls!

Like I said,

I am sorry that you are embarrased,

But I deserve a chance to live too

A full productive life,

Just like you!

And believe me, you are no saint either!