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Tags: accident, life, death, sad

Short story about an accident and its fallout View table of contents...

 

Submitted: May 25, 2008    Reads: 72    Comments: 4    Likes: 3   


The boy sat in a corner crying. All he could see was the accident playing out again and again in front of him, everything else was just a blurry field of white. It was all his fault. They had been going for a ride on Jack's new bike, "faster, go faster daddy" he had cried as they zipped along the deserted country road. The roar of the engine and the wind in his hair made him feel like he was flying, he spread his arms like wings and shouted again "faster, faster, I want to go faster". Jack smiled and revved the bike. The kid was all he had left after his wife left them, and he loved him. They were going really fast now, too fast, and as they rounded the corner he saw a truck hurtling down at them, Jack swerved but there was nowhere to go, they went off the road and hit a tree and everything went black. The boy cried with increased intensity as he replayed the accident yet again. Everyone knew it was his fault, they all blamed him for what he'd done to daddy, they hadn't even let him go in the ambulance with him, they had just ignored him. Now all he could do was sit and cry and wait.

Jack fought for his life in the hospital. A 50% chance is what the doctor's had said when the paramedics brought him in, but he still hadn't regained consciousness and things were beginning to look bleak. Jack was doing all he could to hang on, his mind couldn't stop worrying about what his son was going through, then he heard him. Even through the numbness caused by the concussion and the drugs he could hear his son calling out to him and suddenly there was no question of a fight, he had to go to his son, he had to look after him.

Jack walked into the white field. The boy looked up through his tear stained eyes as he heard the footsteps. "Is that you, daddy?". Jack smiled "yes", he said simply. The boy ran to him and throwing his arms around Jack said, "don't leave me again daddy". "I won't", said Jack and took the boys hand and both stepped out of the white field into heaven.


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Comments:

oh no. oh no.
Lydia_xxxx

Posted: May 25, 2008

Author Comment:

that bad huh? :)

0_0 wow.
That was pretty good. and just..wow.
I liked it =)

~mandy

Posted: May 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey thanks for the comments and the welcome. Am glad you liked the story :)

Short & sweet...keep writing!

Posted: May 27, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks :)

You know how to write "short" stories. Jump right in. Surprise at the end. Very good. And I like supernatural or spiritual or whatever you want to call it in a story. I also like the father-son touch. (I have a son.)

One question- You have the boy sitting in a corner at the beginning of the story. The first thing I thought was he is being punished. Is that your intention?

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks :) really glad you liked it.

One reason it's so short is that i originally wrote it for an exam where we were given the line... "The boy ran to him and throwing his arms around Jack said, 'don't leave me again daddy'."... and had to write a 1000 word story. But i felt i couldn't add more so left it as it was. The sitting in the corner was because he felt he had done something wrong, so was kind of punishing himself.



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