If you live with depression, a mood disorder, or both, you will be able to understand it, or if you don't you will be able to learn alittle about it.
Everyday can turn into a struggle for me. I never know when it will strike, how bad it will be, or what i might do. Of course i think and think, and the more i think the more likely is to happen. When it does happen i can't control myself, i think things that i don't want to they are horrible. i do things i regret, i have burned myself severally, cut myself to the point of stitches. One time my depression was so bad, i tried over dosing to make the pain go away in the moment, but the after math is to much to handle. You feel worst after. I always feel weak and i despise myself.
A couple of weeks ago i had a really bad experience with my depression and mood disorder. I started to cry uncontrollably, i thought it would be best for me to disappear, i felt like i was better off alone so i told my boyfriend of seven months who i love to death, no matter how bad it hurts me, no matter how much i cry, i need you to leave and not turn back. He sat on the stairs not leaving because he new it was my impulsive side talking and new as soon as i got my self under control i would be fine i didn't belive him but he belived in me and stayed by my side and thats what got me threw the day.