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Favorite book: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Member Since: Jun 18, 2014

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Writing Portfolio

Almost Everybody Loves the Autistic Walrus

Novel by piratamaschioladro
Posted: Jul 7, 2014
This was my failed attempt at a children's book. It...

Things I Learned from My Weird, Creepy Uncle

Novel by piratamaschioladro
Posted: Jun 21, 2014
This is a non-fiction novel (well, a very exaggerated...


My name is Pirata Maschio Ladro.  But you can call me something easier to pronounce if you'd like, as long as it's not something mean.

I love to paint.  I paint buses.  I have a Beatles bus, a Pink Floyd bus, a Grateful Dead bus, a Pokemon bus, and a --- 

(The previous sentence was a run-on sentence that was going to make the sentence following this one well-placed, but it has been deleted because it contained a reference to something that I initially thought was funny but have recently decided is not and... oh would you look at that; a run-on sentence.)

I'm good at run-on-sentences.  My apologies if you run into some really windy ones in my writing... sorry.

My current novel is 83 pages... by the time you read this, it may or may not be finished and may or may not be published.  I am worried about the plethora of references to classic rock songs throughout the book (I wanted to make it somewhat of a scavenger hunt for fellow classic rockers like myself!) and am wondering if I'm going to have to cite every last lyric no matter how obscure, you know?  I also need to cite a few dictionary definitions I threw in there... I'm also notorious for, despite my grammar and punctuation nazi-ism, being a total hypocrite by means of:

1. unintentionally ommitting words from sentences that have a heavy impact on the comprehendability (which is probably not a word) of the sentence;

2. spelling the simplest of words incorrectly (I kid you not, I originally wrote "site" instead of "cite" twice in that one sentence where I used "cite" twice, and I just wrote "simplest" as "simplist");

3. and I occasionally do the unthinkable and mix up your and you're when I know damned well what the difference is between the two!  Should I miss any of these after I publish... again, my apologies.

The story I plan on posting is a semi-biography of an unusual girl I knew named *Trakina Jason (name changed for privacy).  While the story is intended to be comical, it does also touch on some disturbing subjects that this real-life character faced throughout her teen years and early adulthood.  My intent is to make my readers (should I be so lucky to have readers!) laugh, think, and occasionally say "now what the fuck?!"  Honestly though, I also hope that anybody who struggles or knows someone who struggles with the issues that are addressed in this story (bulimia, bipolar disorder, love addiction, among other mental illnesses) will take something positive from this... for all I know, these touchy issues might strike a chord with others and nothing good will be taken from any of this.  I'll take my chances though.  Please tell me what you think when I get around to posting!... I know I can't stop you from saying what you feel, but I'd appreciate kindness... despite my oftentimes brash demeanor, I am a sensitive soul.

piratamaschioladro has 4 Fans


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