Compressed

I don't know who I once was,
I got lost along the way.
The girl I once admired,
She dies twice a day.

The things I'd never do,
Were completed yesterday.
And the words that hurt the most?
Are the ones I choose to say.

I'm a dissapointment,
I'm judged at every turn.
I'm ignorance defined,
Because I never learn.

I cry myself to sleep,
But wake with my mistakes.
When I realize who I am,
My heart begins to break.

Nothing makes this better,
Misfortune tipped my scales.
I live in fear of the night,
When I realize all else fails.

Sometimes I scare myself,
Because I'm overwhelmed.
And I think the only answer,
Is me beneath the elms.

Every night I pray to God,
That you'll come back and save me.
But every morning I'm destroyed,
Just like the love you gave me.