Random First Lines: Warm rain falls,soothing noise has come,summer's gift. : Poetry » Read

Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

Forthcoming Renaissance after the Gloom

Poem By: Alice Oiseau
Poetry


The Holocaust was devasting and tragic. I wrote a poem about (for school but I was sure to give it my all) about a person who is taken to a concentration camp and manages to be one of the survivors.

Note: there is a decent amount of symbolism and maybe one or two allusions. I'd like to see different interpretations of it because there are several ways to interpret one thing. ^^
Also - the astricts (*) show that a significant amount of time has passed. Anywhere from 2 weeks to a few months. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Apr 16, 2008    Reads: 104    Comments: 24    Likes: 11   


Forthcoming Renaissance after the Gloom
Toss me left or throw me right,
To my death or to a cruel life,
Right it is.
Bound by shackles,
Make me stand,
Make me suffer,
I am no dove.
I am no swan.
I am a mockingbird.
Not above,
Not below,
No more,
No less,
We are equal and yet it’s not enough.
The race for death starts,
Fear seizes and paralyzes our hearts,
Hoping – Praying – Fading
Hours of labor,
Tears to be shed,
Three to a bed,
Sweat and blood,
On my knees in the mud.
*
One by one we fall,
Cry – Weep – Mourn
I am broken. I am torn.
His Minions threaten us,
They knock me cold with the butt of their rifles,
My cries I force to stifle,
Flames roar,
Bodies on top of bodies,
Burnt flesh smell,
Trapped so it seems forever in this hell,
*
Scream! – Shout! – Plead!
Too many tears,
Too many fears,
Too much have I come face to face with the Angel of Death.
I wonder when He’ll take my last breath.
We suffer in agonizing pain,
No one is sane,
I’m going mad.
I’m losing my mind.
How can they be so cruel?
How can they listen?
My brothers and sisters bang on walls of gas chambers,
Stolen lives,
I fight to survive.
*
Aching – Breaking – Shaking
Lord, I beg, strike me down,
Can I go on?
Am I strong?
No false moves; can’t go wrong,
No room for mistakes.
Help me.
Can’t the world see?
These men torture,
–no! Not men!
Savage beasts prance in glee,
They almost kill me,
Horns curl out of their heads,
Cold-blooded followers of Him, the Devil.
*
They dare to extinguish us,
Dare to kill a mockingbird!
Kicking! – Biting! – Wrenching!
Months go by,
Losing faith and wanting to die,
Am I hallucinating?
Am I dead?
No.
Here you bleed just to know you’re alive,
Must press on; must survive
*
Lying – Crying – Dying…
On the inside I’m choking! – gagging! – suffocating!
Millions drop dead,
Emaciated, frail, unfed
Gunshots fire,
I know to not give up is my deepest desire,
Night and day mold together,
Stuck here forever…
*
I awake.
I shiver.
What’s this?
They – His Minions – are gone.
I squint.
Soldiers walk in,
They stand tall,
In one’s arms I fall,
Rescued at last,
Years have past.
Saved.
But still too many graves.
These shackles are shattered,
Rain tumbles to the ground,
Pitter, patter,
New hope is found,
The War is finished,
We start fresh and over,
Rejoicing – Smiling – Embracing…
So I thought the world would come to an end,
But tonight is the night the world begins again,
After all the misery,
The pain,
The dark,
All the tears to fill an ocean,
I gracefully cross my own Red Sea of salvation,
I’ve made it.
Warm waters
Kiss my skin,
And now our Renaissance begins.


11

Email this story Email this story | Print Story Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

Excellent...bordering on Earth shattering. As a history teacher, I would almost expect to read this as an account, with a few exceptions (a couple of very minor historic snafus.) One thing that I might suggest... the line "I gracefully fall into my own Red Sea of salvation," is one of my favorites- an excellent referral to Jewish heritage, but I would recommend changing to it "I graefully cross my own Red Sea of salvation." after all, wasn't it the egyptians who really fell into the Red Sea? (You ever notice that I can't just say "I like it"...maybe I have been teaching too long!)

Posted: Apr 16, 2008

Author Comment:

ooo! that's a fantastic suggestion!! i'm glad you thought it was excellent. ^^ thank you for the wonderful comment and feedback!! :)

Wow, really powerful and emotional. Loved it! And it was inspired by something that should be written about. I think you did wonderful job. Keep up the great work. :D

Posted: Apr 16, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks! i tried to give it my best and capture the emotions behind it.

can't...talk...left...speechless...this was so unbelievably good and so unbelievably sad...I'm still sort of stunned and speechless at the moment. I'm going to put the "I like it" button and then maybe when I can talk again leave another comment.

Posted: Apr 16, 2008

Author Comment:

lol. aw hugs and kisses! i love you! thank you for the great comment. hahah speechless, eh? i'll take that as a compliment. ^^

i dont know what to say. MY dad is jewish and ive met allot of holocaust survivors, Most look as if they had died long ago.I do feel a tear welling in my eye from that.I'm going to click 'i like it'

Posted: Apr 16, 2008

Author Comment:

aww! a tear? really? it was that moving?

i've met.. i think... one holocaust survivor in person. and my grandpa, though he wasn't a holocaust survivor, he was a surivior of the war. he fought in it, was captured, and actually imprisoned for a long time. that's cool that your dad is jewish. a good family friend of mine is jewish too. ^^

0o0... I need to read it again-- and again-- again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a brilliant poem!!!!! So much imagery-- so much pain and grief. I felt like I was almost there at the concentration camp-- your words were really that powerful. You wrote it beautifully too-- I'm crying! It's really sad to think that people actually had to go through that... and lost so much. I love how it's based on history!

I need to read more of your writing-- so I'll be back after tomorrow night probably (science fair thing at my school-- it terrorizes me because I have to repeat this speech over and over again-- especially since I'm one of those shy people...)

But this was just awesome! I just read a book called the "Book thief" this poem reminded me of that... it was a good book but still real sad 'cause it was based in this era.

Lot's of special chocolate to you,

Ghiradelli Girl.

Posted: Apr 16, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so much. ^^ i'm so glad that its turning out this way - powerful with much imagery and emotion. i spent probably 2-3 hours on it, trying to get it just the way i wanted it. i tend to be more picky about my poetry when its for school.
and yes, its so sad! when i was searching for a picture to go with the poem, i had to stop. b/c i was just overwhelmed seeing all those people just piled on top of each other. *shudders* i can't get over how horrid it is. i'll have to check out that book b/c i'm fascinated with this era. yes, its filled with sad and horrid things, but i find it very interesting. and i just wonder how anyone could be that heartless... but i'll be sure to read that book.
glad you liked it. :)

A powerful, thought provoking poem about man's inhumanity to man that is almost beyond our imagination, yet happened. Well done for confronting it to write about, and to write about very well to make the reader really feel the horror and despair and anguish of that time.

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you!! all these great comments. i'm so glad i really captured that and brought the reader there. my goal has been accomplished so far. ^^ thanks anna

This is a masterpiece alice! All the strong emotions, powering the reader to journey inside the minds and see through man's real eyes.

Very strong emotions. This piece should be read by the rest of the world over. ^^

So I thought the world would come to an end,
But tonight is the night the world begins again

-Wonderful lines of rebirth and hope.


You impressed me with this one alice. I'm very happy. ^^

Keep it up.
Tkae care now. ^^

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

a masterpiece?! *blushes* thank you! those lines that you quotes are my personal favorite. yay for impressing! thank you for the lovely comment punishment! :)

Agony in words! Very well realized and composed, 34 thumbs up.

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks!!

I like it! It's chilling to think that men could do this to other men, and while some try to suppress the fact that the Holocaust even happened, I think it's important to examine it and understand that this is NOT the way to solve problems. This poem reminds me of Night by Elie Wiesel, and since I know you're in AP English, I'm gonna guess that you had to write a poem based on that book (I had to write an essay on it when I was in that class)? Keep me posted on your other work; I do enjoy you're writing!

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

yes! you are so right! i'm reading Night in class and we are starting our poetry unit so our teacher mixed them together. and voila! you get this! ha. but i'm glad you liked it!! thanks for the kind comment ^^ i'll be sure to keep up posted

Alice, most has been said. An Amazing write this is. Powerfully emotional. I too like the 'Red Sea' phrase.
Wll done Alice (smiles) katie

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you. :)

.................
*speechless awe*
This is so awesome!
I art struck dumb by the awesomeness of this poem!!!
I agree with clslater though, on that one miner error.
otherwise, I will proceed to faint in awe...
*faints in dumb-struck awe*
.................

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

ahaha you make me blush! you're so sweet! thank you for the lovely comment!! XD

oh... i think the holocaust is one of those events that most people cant even put into words... but, you most certainly have in this poem. i could totally feel the emotion pulsing from it, like you were there, walking along side the victim. my best friend is jewish and i just cant imagine life without her... this poem made me think that if we lived back during world war 2... *shudder*... anyway, great poem!

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

aye. the holocaust was awful. i've learned so much about it and every time, no matter how many times i learn about it, it still makes me cringe. its unbelievably sad. thanks cheeky sally. :)

oh my gosh!! This was amazing!!! You captured everything so well, it was so powerful, i'm in awe!!! You totally shifted my mind... wow!! You rock!!!

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

aw thank you seesawmae! :)

OMG! i really don't know what to say...i'm speechless! its so good. Its so powerful!

Posted: Apr 17, 2008

Author Comment:

aw thank you!

I love the sybolic use of the mockingbird, very nice touch.

Your imagery is excellent as well. I could clearly see, the tears, pain and bloodshed.

Though some made it out they didn't always live to make it to better land and lives. Like Anne Frank unfortunately. Imagine how she could have changed the world more than she did through her diaries.

Excellent, excellent job.

~DarkFairy~

Posted: Apr 18, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks dark fairy. your the first to comment on the symbolism of the mockingbird. notice how it says "i am no dove. i am no swan" both of those birds are white birds symbolizing hitler's "master race", the aryan race. then the mockingbird not only symbolizes innocence, but they have a brown color to them, representing a jew b/c most jews (not all) but most had the darker hair and skin complexion. just thought i'd bring up the symbolism behind the birds since you're the first to mention. ^^ glad you liked it. thank you for the sweet comment dark!

Such a brilliant, heartfelt write. It's all been said before me so no need to repeat others words. Just keep writing Alice... keep writing and writing and writing... you have a very special gift to share with the world! Peace and love.....Jerry

Posted: Apr 18, 2008

Author Comment:

aw! this comment was so sweet and really brought a smile to my face. i've had an absolutely horrible day. *cries* but this really cheered me up. thank you so much!

wow, looks like im the last one on booksie to comment on this..what can i say that has not been said above?
Because i studied history at university i am always attracted to historical subjects. trying to put into words the suffering of other people is so, so difficult, which u probably found out writing this, but i think u more than succeed here. i love the beginning, it shows that even in such horrific circumstances fate still as a role to play. is death better than life? i think those who survived did so to let the world know what evil occured, and to give a voice to the millions who died!! U have also given them a voice Alice so i thank you for that...
there r still repressed people today, sadly the world never learns, i hope to post a poem called free tibet later which deals with this, hope you will comment..
again u r an inspiration to me, thanxxx

Posted: Apr 18, 2008

Author Comment:

XD and yet another beautiful comment to brighten my spirits after a horrific day! thank you soooo much! i'm an inspiration to you? *buries head in hands due to speechless...ness* *lifts head and smiles* thank you. no one has ever said that to me before. its an honor to be the inspiration of a fellow great writer. :)
and thank you for the lovely comment on my poem. is death better than life? its definately a difficult question to answer.
i wish i could touch the world with my hands and stop the suffering and the pain and the people repressed today. *sighs* i would have thought after WWII people would have learned... but they don't. its awful.
once again, thank you for the wonderful comment. ^^ i'll be sure to read and comment your poem when you have it up.

That took my breathe away. I cringed as I read about the inhuman treatment he went though. A feeling came over me as I read it, hard to exlain, but it was one of outrage and despair and, at the end, hope. I shudder at the thought of what humans are capable of!!

Outstanding work.
:)

Posted: Apr 19, 2008

Author Comment:

oo i brought outrage and despair and hope to the reader while reading! XD i didn't know it was the powerful! thank you so much for the sweet comment! i cringe to at the inhuman treatment. i think everyone does... its just downright awful.

Wow... Mind if I suggest this poem to my histroy teacher? We are studying the Genocides of the world and this would go PERFECT with this unit. Maybe it will make the guys stop laughing and actually feel something when they hear it!

Again, So many ppl have already said the things I want to say about this poem, that it would be pointless to write them all out again... and would take WAY too long so...
Wrap all the things everyone has said and that is about half of what I think this poem deserves!

I will click the 'I like it' button, but I wish there was a second button that I could click called 'I LOVE THIS POEM!!!'

And, Ima add a link to it on my page ok? Just cuz it is THAT amazing! :D

Posted: Apr 19, 2008

Author Comment:

aw thank you! and yes! i would be honored to have your history teacher read it! go ahead hon. thanks for asking. be sure to let me know what he thinks of it! oo it would be so interesting. thanks for the joyous comment apple! you're so sweet! i'm a-okay with you adding it as a link. :)

Can't...speak....so...speechless...
OMG YOU BETTER HAVE GOTTEN LIKE TRIPLE THOUSAND BILLION TRILLION A'S!!!! This was such a great poem. My eyes were wide the whole time, my heart was beating so fast, and I was leaning in so close to the screen it became blurry! This poem was one of the best I've ever read. The imagery was incredible.

Aching – Breaking – Shaking
Lord, I beg, strike me down,
Can I go on?
Am I strong?
No false moves; can’t go wrong,
No room for mistakes.
Help me.
Can’t the world see?
These men torture,
–no! Not men!
Savage beasts prance in glee,
They almost kill me,
Horns curl out of their heads,
Cold-blooded followers of Him, the Devil

This stanza's imagery was so incredible I would have fallen off my chair (I can't, I'm like blocked in ha ha). And the first stanza..I was completely speechless. Alice, the first line dragged me in. This poem was so good.....gosh I can't even find words! FABULOUS FABULOUS FABULOUS job!!
oh if they had an i love button..... *tsk tsk*

Posted: Apr 19, 2008

Author Comment:

hmm. ok so i swore i replied to this but i guess not. lets try again:
awww zoe! you can always bring a smile to my face *faints in happiness* haha. thank you so much for the sweet comment. i worked hard on this poem. i chose every word carefully so i'm so happy that that stanza came out with strong imagery! and the first line sucked you in, heh? i didn't know it was that gripping! glad to hear from you zoe! its always a pleasure reading your comments!!

oh my gosh Alice, that was so well captured I don't even know what to say. You impress me every time. WOW. lol, My new idol *bows down* lmao. VERY very very (a million very's) times excellent! lol
Steph:)

Posted: Apr 20, 2008

Author Comment:

hahahaha oh steph you make me laugh!! thank you for the very (a million very's) times much! hahaha ;)
thanks for reading and commenting hon!

another very powerful poem. it was making me hold my breath for some reason.. from the very first lines to the last ones.. it captured me like a fish on a hook.. i don't know what else to say.. it was amazingly wellwritten =) love it!

Posted: Apr 28, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you! aha i haven't heard someone use that phrase before, fish on a hook. like i know what it means, just haven't had someone use it say the writing gripped them. thanks for the sweet words :D

whew I remember this in the top20 , Its not brilliant, definitely not brilliant, not amazing either, and I don't really agree to what they said above... but its kinda great... why did you ever think of writing this? why did you write this one?








-Coz I think , this one is really not worthy of the comments above!!! Its like , this is way too brilliant magically powerfully and very over the sky to describe :)you know, This one is the winning one!!! I love it like its dark and gloomy yet bright and colorful in the other way around... its really a talent you have... and oh... what more can I say? This is the first to amaze me this way... like I said its dark and gloomy yet bright and colorful ...yeah its my first time to say that... only in this piece :)

Posted: Apr 30, 2008

Author Comment:

if you read the summary above (which is usually helpful) you will see i wrote it for school after studying the holocaust. and i added it here b/c why not?
thanks for the comment ^^ dark and gloomy to bright and colorful - exactly what i was aiming for :D thanks!

Kay i really like know love it.
hehehehehe.
tillz

Posted: Jul 2, 2008

Author Comment:

haha merci :)



Add Your Comments:

Your Name:

Spam protection control::

© Copyright 2008 Alice Oiseau All rights reserved. Alice Oiseau has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

Add to Reading List
Become a fan
Email this story Email this story
Read/Write Reviews Read/Write Reviews
Print Story Print Story



Other writing by Alice Oiseau Let Me Be Your Willow December Stained in Autumn Her Four Seasons More..



Tags

Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Advertise

© 2008 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.