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The Holocaust was devasting and tragic. I wrote a poem about (for school but I was sure to give it my all) about a person who is taken to a concentration camp and manages to be one of the survivors.
Note: there is a decent amount of symbolism and maybe one or two allusions. I'd like to see different interpretations of it because there are several ways to interpret one thing. ^^
Also - the astricts (*) show that a significant amount of time has passed. Anywhere from 2 weeks to a few months.
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Submitted: Apr 16, 2008 Reads: 104 Comments: 24 Likes: 11
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Excellent...bordering on Earth shattering. As a history teacher, I would almost expect to read this as an account, with a few exceptions (a couple of very minor historic snafus.) One thing that I might suggest... the line "I gracefully fall into my own Red Sea of salvation," is one of my favorites- an excellent referral to Jewish heritage, but I would recommend changing to it "I graefully cross my own Red Sea of salvation." after all, wasn't it the egyptians who really fell into the Red Sea? (You ever notice that I can't just say "I like it"...maybe I have been teaching too long!)
Posted: Apr 16, 2008
Wow, really powerful and emotional. Loved it! And it was inspired by something that should be written about. I think you did wonderful job. Keep up the great work. :D
Posted: Apr 16, 2008
can't...talk...left...speechless...this was so unbelievably good and so unbelievably sad...I'm still sort of stunned and speechless at the moment. I'm going to put the "I like it" button and then maybe when I can talk again leave another comment.
Posted: Apr 16, 2008
i dont know what to say. MY dad is jewish and ive met allot of holocaust survivors, Most look as if they had died long ago.I do feel a tear welling in my eye from that.I'm going to click 'i like it'
Posted: Apr 16, 2008
0o0... I need to read it again-- and again-- again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a brilliant poem!!!!! So much imagery-- so much pain and grief. I felt like I was almost there at the concentration camp-- your words were really that powerful. You wrote it beautifully too-- I'm crying! It's really sad to think that people actually had to go through that... and lost so much. I love how it's based on history!
I need to read more of your writing-- so I'll be back after tomorrow night probably (science fair thing at my school-- it terrorizes me because I have to repeat this speech over and over again-- especially since I'm one of those shy people...)
But this was just awesome! I just read a book called the "Book thief" this poem reminded me of that... it was a good book but still real sad 'cause it was based in this era.
Lot's of special chocolate to you,
Ghiradelli Girl.
Posted: Apr 16, 2008
A powerful, thought provoking poem about man's inhumanity to man that is almost beyond our imagination, yet happened. Well done for confronting it to write about, and to write about very well to make the reader really feel the horror and despair and anguish of that time.
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
This is a masterpiece alice! All the strong emotions, powering the reader to journey inside the minds and see through man's real eyes.
Very strong emotions. This piece should be read by the rest of the world over. ^^
So I thought the world would come to an end,
But tonight is the night the world begins again
-Wonderful lines of rebirth and hope.
You impressed me with this one alice. I'm very happy. ^^
Keep it up.
Tkae care now. ^^
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
Agony in words! Very well realized and composed, 34 thumbs up.
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
I like it! It's chilling to think that men could do this to other men, and while some try to suppress the fact that the Holocaust even happened, I think it's important to examine it and understand that this is NOT the way to solve problems. This poem reminds me of Night by Elie Wiesel, and since I know you're in AP English, I'm gonna guess that you had to write a poem based on that book (I had to write an essay on it when I was in that class)? Keep me posted on your other work; I do enjoy you're writing!
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
Alice, most has been said. An Amazing write this is. Powerfully emotional. I too like the 'Red Sea' phrase.
Wll done Alice (smiles) katie
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
.................
*speechless awe*
This is so awesome!
I art struck dumb by the awesomeness of this poem!!!
I agree with clslater though, on that one miner error.
otherwise, I will proceed to faint in awe...
*faints in dumb-struck awe*
.................
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
oh... i think the holocaust is one of those events that most people cant even put into words... but, you most certainly have in this poem. i could totally feel the emotion pulsing from it, like you were there, walking along side the victim. my best friend is jewish and i just cant imagine life without her... this poem made me think that if we lived back during world war 2... *shudder*... anyway, great poem!
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
oh my gosh!! This was amazing!!! You captured everything so well, it was so powerful, i'm in awe!!! You totally shifted my mind... wow!! You rock!!!
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
OMG! i really don't know what to say...i'm speechless! its so good. Its so powerful!
Posted: Apr 17, 2008
I love the sybolic use of the mockingbird, very nice touch.
Your imagery is excellent as well. I could clearly see, the tears, pain and bloodshed.
Though some made it out they didn't always live to make it to better land and lives. Like Anne Frank unfortunately. Imagine how she could have changed the world more than she did through her diaries.
Excellent, excellent job.
~DarkFairy~
Posted: Apr 18, 2008
Such a brilliant, heartfelt write. It's all been said before me so no need to repeat others words. Just keep writing Alice... keep writing and writing and writing... you have a very special gift to share with the world! Peace and love.....Jerry
Posted: Apr 18, 2008
wow, looks like im the last one on booksie to comment on this..what can i say that has not been said above?
Because i studied history at university i am always attracted to historical subjects. trying to put into words the suffering of other people is so, so difficult, which u probably found out writing this, but i think u more than succeed here. i love the beginning, it shows that even in such horrific circumstances fate still as a role to play. is death better than life? i think those who survived did so to let the world know what evil occured, and to give a voice to the millions who died!! U have also given them a voice Alice so i thank you for that...
there r still repressed people today, sadly the world never learns, i hope to post a poem called free tibet later which deals with this, hope you will comment..
again u r an inspiration to me, thanxxx
Posted: Apr 18, 2008
That took my breathe away. I cringed as I read about the inhuman treatment he went though. A feeling came over me as I read it, hard to exlain, but it was one of outrage and despair and, at the end, hope. I shudder at the thought of what humans are capable of!!
Outstanding work.
:)
Posted: Apr 19, 2008
Wow... Mind if I suggest this poem to my histroy teacher? We are studying the Genocides of the world and this would go PERFECT with this unit. Maybe it will make the guys stop laughing and actually feel something when they hear it!
Again, So many ppl have already said the things I want to say about this poem, that it would be pointless to write them all out again... and would take WAY too long so...
Wrap all the things everyone has said and that is about half of what I think this poem deserves!
I will click the 'I like it' button, but I wish there was a second button that I could click called 'I LOVE THIS POEM!!!'
And, Ima add a link to it on my page ok? Just cuz it is THAT amazing! :D
Posted: Apr 19, 2008
Can't...speak....so...speechless...
OMG YOU BETTER HAVE GOTTEN LIKE TRIPLE THOUSAND BILLION TRILLION A'S!!!! This was such a great poem. My eyes were wide the whole time, my heart was beating so fast, and I was leaning in so close to the screen it became blurry! This poem was one of the best I've ever read. The imagery was incredible.
Aching – Breaking – Shaking
Lord, I beg, strike me down,
Can I go on?
Am I strong?
No false moves; can’t go wrong,
No room for mistakes.
Help me.
Can’t the world see?
These men torture,
–no! Not men!
Savage beasts prance in glee,
They almost kill me,
Horns curl out of their heads,
Cold-blooded followers of Him, the Devil
This stanza's imagery was so incredible I would have fallen off my chair (I can't, I'm like blocked in ha ha). And the first stanza..I was completely speechless. Alice, the first line dragged me in. This poem was so good.....gosh I can't even find words! FABULOUS FABULOUS FABULOUS job!!
oh if they had an i love button..... *tsk tsk*
Posted: Apr 19, 2008
oh my gosh Alice, that was so well captured I don't even know what to say. You impress me every time. WOW. lol, My new idol *bows down* lmao. VERY very very (a million very's) times excellent! lol
Steph:)
Posted: Apr 20, 2008
another very powerful poem. it was making me hold my breath for some reason.. from the very first lines to the last ones.. it captured me like a fish on a hook.. i don't know what else to say.. it was amazingly wellwritten =) love it!
Posted: Apr 28, 2008
whew I remember this in the top20 , Its not brilliant, definitely not brilliant, not amazing either, and I don't really agree to what they said above... but its kinda great... why did you ever think of writing this? why did you write this one?
-Coz I think , this one is really not worthy of the comments above!!! Its like , this is way too brilliant magically powerfully and very over the sky to describe :)you know, This one is the winning one!!! I love it like its dark and gloomy yet bright and colorful in the other way around... its really a talent you have... and oh... what more can I say? This is the first to amaze me this way... like I said its dark and gloomy yet bright and colorful ...yeah its my first time to say that... only in this piece :)
Posted: Apr 30, 2008
Kay i really like know love it.
hehehehehe.
tillz
Posted: Jul 2, 2008
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