Hiralarious Challenge: Song Unsung

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Poem By: Alice Oiseau
Poetry

Tags: hiralarious, challenge, poetry, anger, sad, broken, hurt, numb, tears, dead

Mmmkay so this is Hiralarious's Challenge. She gives you a line you have to use in a poem/short story.

Since apparently I do "so well" at challenges *rolls eyes* (I'm not that good) she decided to give me TWO lines instead of just one.
... little did she know that those lines went hand in hand... mwuahahahaha! >:-]

My given lines:

devoid of happiness, devoid of misery

pulling the plug on your life

All right.... so yeah. Here is my poem. Ha for a while I was on a roll with romance, but I couldn't seem to work romance into this since the lines are rather depressing. SO instead, I created a poem along the same lines of my Memoirs... ha. For those of you who have read my Memoirs, I apologize for my venting into poetry. Its just, nothing else really came to me when I was writing it. So... yeah.
For those of you who haven't read my Memoirs, then GREAT! This is fresh stuff. Hahaha.

Oh and don't take some of the things literally... like a lot of its figurative in a way. There may be things that you don't understand completely - which is fine. I don't expect anyone to fully understand my poems unless you know the backstory. So yeah...
With that being said, let's get this poem going!! ^^ View table of contents...

Submitted: Jun 17, 2008 Reads: 69 Comments: 12 Likes: 5

Song Unsung

This is my song,

A song that for so long had been unsung,

So it began,

We were young.

You were deaf,

I was blind.

These memories will forever stay locked in my mind...

I was weak,

You were strong,

Everything I thought you were...

I was wrong.

I began to run...

Far away from you...

Look what you have done -

Devoid of happiness,

Devoid of misery!

I have nothing...

I am broken...

FallenAngel01.jpg picture by sweetncuteblondewriter

I am numb...

But only for so long can you run from strife,

So dearest darling - I'm pulling the plug on your life.

There are no more questions of what we could be,

Because listen to what I say: You are dead to me.

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Comments:

Susan Hartline Fouts

You did the challenge very well. It all ties in so perfectly and flows together so well. Well done, Alice.

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks susan ^^

hiralarious

I hate you so much I love you. Dang, this was brilliant! -sob- You see! YOU ARE TOO GOOD AT CHALLENGES! -attacks-

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

*whips out light saber and stops hilarious's attack* HA!
my jedi skills are too quick for you!! now hilarious, listen to my voice - don't fall to the dark side! be strong! use the force!

....
...
..
.

yeah ok. don't ask... lol. that was such a starwars nerd moment. lol. i couldn't help myself.. anywhoooo

hahaha, thank you muchly hilarious :D

AngelaSteele

Alice, this was really SAD!!!!!! :(

I love the last two lines the most, just to let you know. :)

I loved this sooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH!!

I love it, I love it, I love it.

And I would keep telling you how much I love it forever and in many more ways... but I don't have the time :) Lol

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

lol i'm so glad you love it ^^
yeah... its sad. lol. i can write sad poetry too.
thank you angela :D
take care!

Hugs and kisses

awwwww it's sweet...in an odd sort of way. Very good job, I enjoyed it a lot ^.^ the "I liked it" button will be pressed! Yay! I love the picture (both of them actually) and also I love the lines you got!

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

lol sweet? hm. ok. in an odd sort of way. hahaha
thank you hugs and kisses ^^
i like the pics too :D and yeah, i like the lines as well. though my fave line of the two was "devoid of happiness, devoid of misery"
anywho
thanks again :)

XBrokenHeartedX

Wow. Hmm...I thought it was fresh stuff! I can see where you would think it was a lot like your memoirs, but I really didn't notice anything of them alike while reading it. But this was spectacular! Ha Ha I got two lines from her too...I'm still working on it though. Your summery's always make me laugh! What I really liked about this poem that you included in your memoirs was the emotion. I love your poetry when you release ALL of that emotion, instead of keeping it locked in metaphors and similies or beautiful imagery lines. The emotions in your poetry themselves create lines of vivid imagery that I just can't stand. That's what I love so much about this poem:) Ha Ha I hope that was understandable... :D Great job on the challenge Alice, you take my breath away every single time.

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Haha yeah that was understandable ^^
awww
thank you so much zoe :D
thank goodness you thought it was fresh!! i was so worried that it was too close to my memoirs... b/c its the same story basically, just written differently.
haha you got 2 lines too?! hahahaha! it's not so bad. i'm sure you'll create something wonderful ^^
you always make me smile! ha and apparently i always make you laugh in my summaries. lol that's good ^^
thanks again zoe!

Punishment

You were deaf,
I was blind.

You got me hooked with these two lines m'ange.
It's rather depressing but I see your strength through it all. I love it. :)

Take care, my angel

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Those were my favorite lines ^^
Yeah... it's depressing... but there is strength. :) i'm strong now
thank you my love :) you take care too!

Pratibha

Is this a true story??

If u would not have told, I would have believed that this is no challenge....the words came naturally....

there is 'this' sense of strength in this amidst 'deception' ( i hope this is the right word)....

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

hmm well, deception isn't the precise word.
the person was more... manipulative. didn't really decieve me too much. but yes, its based on a true story unfortunately...
thank you for reading pratibha ^^

Pratibha

Me sad, Me upset,,.....u did not inform me....

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

aw i sorry! i actually didn't inform a lot of people with some of these most recent poems. i didnt feel they were good enough for people to read honestly lol
next time i'll inform you, sound good? ^^

whitehart

B-E-A-UUUUUUU-TIFUL!...
Its an awesome read.....you really are good at challenges.

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

hahaha thank you!
*shakes head* i dont think i'm that good. but apparently many people disagree lol
take care ^^

xForeverxUnboundx

Okay, first... the title made me want to sing. And secondly, I agree with everyone above!! Sad, but awesome beyond words. (I think I'll talking stop here) :)

Posted: Jun 18, 2008

Author Comment:

haha thank you forever unbound!! ^^

matthew smith

hi Alice, well i said so much about your memoirs that ive probably covered this, but still its a sad but beautiful poem. I love the pulling of the plug and You are dead to me! You also know i love your work and this is another great poem.

Posted: Jun 18, 2008

Author Comment:

haha yeah. you've provided me enough comments concerning the memoirs lol
thank you ^^ you know i love your comments! :D

Stephanee

You go girl!!!! Flush that mean boy out of your life!!!!!! *whew* Sorry I got a little carried away lol.

I just love the empowerment of the last 2 stanzas. I thought this was a very well-written poem, Alice, and I didn't think it echoed the Memoirs too much. I thought it was great!

Stephanee :)

Posted: Jun 19, 2008

Author Comment:

haha :)
thanks stephanee ^^ i love it when people get caught up in my poetry. makes me laugh :D
oo i'm glad it wasn't too similar to the memoirs.
thanks again :)

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