Alice, alice, alice.^^

This is the perfect ending to the series.

You have looked up and found hope, still as humble as you were before, only now, you have a better soul to face tomorrow.^^

Yes, truly a wonderful ending. Finally all the hurting can stop. Cofusion will now froze over, and you will emerge from the smoke--the new alice. You know better now to fall again.^^

I'm banging on the door of an angel,
He opens his door and lets me in,
And now away from you, a new journey can begin.

-Glad you found your angel.^^

This is really beautiful alice. And my favorite thus far.^^

I wish this hope and courage would continue onwards.
Take care of yourself...and your heart alice.^^

Stay true to your heart always.^^
Hugs to you!

Posted: May 4, 2008

Ok Alice, where to start? First of all I think you’ve written a beautiful poem here. Beautiful in the sense that it does manage to capture essences of the previous two poems, even though its different in style. All three poems are different and can stand up on there own, and yet you’ve kept the same voice running through them. It’s quite a difficult thing to do, but we find the writer in three different moods throughout the series. At first you seemed lost in your emotions, almost crying out in a devastated voice “why is this happening to me”. Then in the second poem you seem to have taken control of your emotions and although the poem had a more sinister sentiment behind it, I suppose one of revenge; the poem gave you a sense of power. So the porcelain doll had been shattered and a voice rose from the settling dust. For me that was the voice of poem two, which came as an immediate reaction to the realisation of the experiences she/you had gone through.

Now comes poem three. First of all I love the picture; I think it captures that idea of freedom or escape the poems have. The idea that from a mute and cold porcelain doll emerges something beautiful and independent. The first line sums everything up. From darkness comes light, from the porcelain doll comes life. But even after all these images there’s the idea of temptation here, the forbidden fruit of eve’s apple and you say “tempt me one more time”. So you are still tempted by the past, which I suppose is understandable, but I think this actually makes this poem. Many poems are built around competing images, conflicts, contrasts ect…And so I guess this poem is too. To break away from something we first need to be attached to it, and attachment is a very powerful emotion. It causes uncertainty, fear, and a strange sort of nostalgia for the thing we despise and want to break from. It makes us question our motives, but ultimately we need to go through all this to make the break.

I love the lines “but like a thread, we unravel and come undone” and “we are a sick cycling carousel” These images are very strong, and with my favourite line..yes you guessed .. a shade of imprisonment .. it shows how lost or even detached someone can become from who they really are. The influence of another personality can be so strong upon us that we loose ourselves within this persons influence, and it can take a lot of pain and self analysis to realise this.

So as the poem progresses one can really feel the tension and the conflict at play; the persons desire to break free, to let go, though its not easy “memories play over but I go on” these are fantastic lines which really highlight this struggle. And now we get to the shattering of the doll; its final release because even in poem two you are still trapped by this person, and that’s why the anger or revenge is played out within that poem. And so the “angel in disguise” is finally revealed or released. So I also love the image of the rose petals that this person kept blinding you with, now they “hit the ground and turn to sand” that’s a beautiful metaphor you use throughout the poem. To me the rose petals represent words which were used to deceive you, charm you, but now they are just dead words because you finally woke to there meaning. And what can be more final than “this is the death of you”

Alice you said it might not be as good as I expected, but its better. You’ve shown a greater control in this poem, and words are obeying your call. I love the battle that’s raged throughout all three poems and in this final one you’ve really pulled it off. The desire to finally break free as truly come to the fore. I’ve read these tree poems individually but later when I have time (time is constantly my enemy) I will read all three as one and see what the effect is on me. I’ll be sure to let you know. Also I’m honoured by the few lines of mine you’ve written into this poem (I have no physical presence, for all I am is words) thanks so much, and Alice you continue to be an inspiration. I had to take the few lines and the image of the porcelain doll and write a little ditty, though nothing to compare with yours, and write a poem for you. I’ll post it on your page.

Again this is truly a great piece of writing, and I’m sure you must feel so much better for having written it and shared it with us…take care…keep in touch…for I’m sure there’s more inspiration to come!!!

Posted: May 4, 2008

Ah, well, the format didn't turn out well at all on your page so i'll post it here for you

A Porcelain Doll or A Shape of Things to Come

A Porcelain doll lays shattered on the floor
its image dead in the dust,
but what it contained is now released
from its wounded breast.

Her face was pale like the moon
her tears as heavy as stars,
and from the world she hid her pain
behind such feeble bars.

Her face was cold like that poor fool the
melancholy clown Pierrot,
immured within that muted form
her pain was soon forgot.

Of all the dolls upon the shelf she
slumped in an idle heap,
but what’s the point of a beautiful mind
contained with its sleep.

Or beauty that moves from shade to shade
like a single star in the sky,
that’s hidden behind a lonely cloud
as the world passes by.

Her past is scattered on the floor
like shards of razor blades,
to pierce the heart that ligers still
within those darkened shades.

A Porcelain doll lays shattered on the floor
its image dead in the dust,
and a voice is heard in the fading light
and the sun sets in the west.

Posted: May 4, 2008

From reading the whole trilogy, I would have to say that this really added strength and balance to the other two. This is one of those poems that is bold and speaks loudly but with a gracefulness at that. I gave it my vote, the words are exquisite in this piece. The scenery played out in my eyes like a nice melody from a symphony. A wonderful piece of work that captures the moment and never lets go. Keep up the fine work.

Posted: May 4, 2008

This is such a new level Alice. You have reached such a high level. Beautiful doesn't even cut it for me. Not good poem or awesome job. I just can't find words! I really really really really liked this one because it was somewhere in between the first one where you screamed your emotions and the second one where you hid them in metaphors and similes. This one is my absolute favorite:D I understood this poem so well, and I was leaning in so far to the screen. (of my computer). I absolutely love the whole Porcelain doll thing. It was just so amazing! I wish they had better dictionaries so I could come up with better words....

We are a sick cycling carousel,

Let this porcelain doll tango with a doll from hell,

This dance has only begun,

And yet look how far we've come.

This would have to be my favorite stanza. This stanza gave me the most imagery. I really love: This dance has only begun.
And the whole carousel was awesome. I saw the whole scene and everything. God you have such a talent Alice...I envy you terribly. The things that you can come up with are beyond beauty and spectacular. This three part series that you've written has probably been some of the greatest work I've ever read in my life. I know actual famous writers who you are better than! Well, in my eyes:) Ha Ha Alice this was truly a wonderful read. I don't know what I would do if I hadn't met you on booksie.
Also something that I saw and really liked was the white rose petal. How in those two line stanzas there was always a white rose petal falling from the persons hand. This whole poem was like one long story. I saw the whole scene playing out at me like a movie, but much much better. And if you could write this Alice, your imagination is INCREDIBLE. Don't ever let it go to waist!....so uh...don't watch TV cuz it'll melt your brain. LOL this is one of the best things I've ever read in my life.

Posted: May 4, 2008

Also, I forgot to say lol, it was a wonderful ending to the whole thing. It really completed the whole story and made everything so perfect. Great job again!

Posted: May 4, 2008

Fabulous. Really I don't know the word to describe how captivated I was. The first stanza was definetly my favourite but I also liked all the references to you as a porcelain doll. It was truly a powerful piece yet at the same time full of wonderful phrases and beautiful language. Out of the three poems on this subject, this has got to be my favourite, although they all have very different aspects and ways of looking at the trin of events.

Posted: May 5, 2008

Sorry I accedentely pressed enter before I was finished.
Shall I continue?

I agree with you that this was definetly the perfect way to end it. It rounds it up so completely almost daring someone to say its not over and done with.

Superb job. Don't ever stop writing, it would be a terrible loss for the world if you did.

:) Eternal Night

p.s. sorry I took so long to leave a comments, I was away the whole weekend.
:)

Posted: May 5, 2008

BAHHHH, everyone said everything I wanted to say:( ugh *angry face* well, first of all, WAY TO FINISH STRONG ALICE! the perfect ending to the series, you really outdid yourself, it was outstanding.
My favourite lines were-

Tempt me one more time,

Our souls once intertwined,

But like a thread, we unravel and come undone,

And now my friend,

Here we go again


so beautiful and full of meaning, the words really reached out to me. So achignly lovely. yes, that`s the perfect way to describe the whole series ACHIGNLY LOVELY. (forgive me if I have made spelling mistakes, I am french remember, haha) anywho, to sum it all up, it was pure greatness Alice. You are my new idol, lol, my goal is to write something as beautiful as this, something to make someone else feel the way I felt reading this, because it was really that good. *bows down to Alice's greatness*
Bravo ma belle, tellement elegant, tellement parfait!
Steph:)

Posted: May 5, 2008

2:45 AM and here I am. Thanks to my lack of finals I can do things like this! Enough bragging about that though :P. A fitting, cathartic (I've wanted to use this word in a sentence forever and finally get to!) end to this poem. I think the ending struck me most of all. "Broken promises and words untrue,/This is the death of you." It emphasizes the finality of it all with the death metaphor and the placement of it at the end of the poem (and the series) is just perfect for wrapping it all up. And, as I read this, I pictured this a sort of play, with the leading lady telling off the boy and marching away for good as he stands there fumbling and looking awkward as passersby stare at the commotion. Weird, huh? Maybe I should get to bed, haha. Good luck with your finals, and as always, keep me posted about your work!

Posted: May 6, 2008

And she scores! (again)

I couldn't believe, after reading all your memoirs, that you are such a young and dear person..

Anyway, I liked that this one rhymes (lol!) and that it ends with positive energy.

I felt encouraged after reading this. Like I can tackle any problem to come my way..

Nice is an understatement. No words to describe how talented you are, birdie..

Posted: May 6, 2008

I have no words...ALICE....i can only say that "THIS IS THE PERFECT ENDING" nothing could have been better...Way to go cutie

Posted: May 6, 2008

Perfect, perfect, perfect ending^_^! I agree with Pratibha up there. I could just see the darn man standing there his eyes wide his mouth wide open, as all of his lies come back to him and shoot into his mouth-- overwhelms him and then he explodes! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! He deserved such an ending-- and the girl deserves such beautiful wings to fly away with; to break free. Beautiful poem:), you made these three poems a work of art.

Lot's of special chocolate to you,

Ghiradelli Girl.

Posted: May 6, 2008

EEEK! o.O loveit!

Posted: May 6, 2008

Wow - it's taken a while to get down here (puff), but this is wonderful poetry. Really strong imagery. I particulary like the first line actually, it's a great way to start.
good stuff
matmoo :)

Posted: May 7, 2008

Haha, yeah like Matmoo it took a while to get here hahahahah.
I laughed to myself when i read the final line, i guess through the excitement of your words. Everyone has already said what can be said. But i guess this being a personal comment i would like to say my favroutie line was:"Crystal eyes cry out for help"
For me that was a powerful line. In my work i always use the crystal eyes as the representation of a REALISATION, coming to terms with the TRUTH. I LLLOOOOOVVVVEEEEDDDD THat line hHAHHahhHha!!!!! Such a changing experience. And what i really loved about this series is that the second one ended through a kind of dull yet angry way. In this one you finally concluded it with a strong spirit. The ending was great, the imagery was brilliant, you could feel the cold touch of the petals. It was all just...good... hahahahah

Have a wonderful day, its been a pleasure reading this and has made itself the 'angel' of your work. Great job, and i am SOOOO excited because writers can only get better, i expect greater things from you!!!!

Your porcelain case will not detain your poetic expressions for much longer, rejoice in your epiphany!

Posted: May 7, 2008

Alice - this poem is the best one of all. It's positive for you and releasing. The first poem was dark with hurt. The second just plain scary (haha) but this one is light and flowing! Just one thing - never appologise for your work.
I loved it.

Posted: May 9, 2008

Scintillating artistry and expression, well worded and composed. The entire trilogy considered as one gets 79 thumbs up. Excellent Alice. I love this.

Posted: May 10, 2008

Wonderful poem Alice, almost an ethereal feel to me, I love the strength and truth of the ending. (sorry for belated read, haven't had a lot of "booksie" time lately.)

Posted: May 11, 2008

I read parts 1 and 2 of the "Memoirs," and I have to say that this was by far my favorite. While the first 2 are certainly examples of amazing poetry, I find the fortitude expressed by this poem very touching. At the last 4 lines I actually cheered aloud!! (my boyfriend looked at me like I was nuts!) And the lines "I'm banging on the door of an angel,/ He opens his door and lets me in" reached me on a very personal level. You're a wonderful writer!

Stephanee :)

p.s. I don't think you're ready to be extraordinary... I think you're already there ;)

Posted: May 15, 2008

wow, you still amaze me! Inspiration at Starbucks? very nice! hehehe... nice emotion and stuff... i love this! The picture is lovely too! oh and i love the titles from all of the series, very neat! Enjoyed these a lot!

Posted: May 19, 2008

wow, all i can say is wow...its very inspiring, great emotion! love it.

Posted: May 27, 2008