Memoirs of an Angry Heart Part Two: Dearly Beloved - Poetry Poetry - anger, hurt, sad

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Memoirs of an Angry Heart Part Two: Dearly Beloved

Poem By: Alice Oiseau
Poetry

Tags: anger, sad, hurt, aching, suffering, irony, madness

Like I said in Memoirs of an Angry Heart, there will probably be more poems to come out of this. Sorry to bore you with the same topic.
This particular poem deals with a lot irony. The irony is just seen in the title - Dearly Beloved.
The poem is kind of sarcastic with a tint of anger. This time it was told from a different side of me - the side that just let everything happen and did nothing about it until it became too extreme to let go of. I don't know if my heart was much at work for this poem. Maybe it was because after writing it, I looked at it and felt like I just insulted myself.
All comments are of course appreciated and any feedback is always welcome. View table of contents...

Submitted: Apr 28, 2008 Reads: 106 Comments: 20 Likes: 9

Dearly Beloved

Hello Dearly Beloved.

Do you have anything to say?

Perhaps you would like to strangle me today.

Go ahead Dearly Beloved,

Place those pale hands on my throat,

Those long fingers wrap around my neck,

And now you hold me captive.

What's that Dearly Beloved?

You wish to suffocate me?

Very well, if you insist.

See that pillow - yes that one - now you smother me.

But you see,

I cannot fight back.

I am too weak.

You have me broken and bruised.

Did you enjoy your game Dearly Beloved?

Days go by and I just sit there.

Your eyes pierce me like daggers.

I cannot move.

You have me paralyzed with fear.

But what's this?

Through blackness breaks a streak of light.

An angel calls out,

Tells me to make it stop Dearly Beloved.

With strength I knock on your door,

Hello Dearly Beloved. You look hungry for more.

Are you ready to lose your game?

After this, nothing will be the same.

You go to choke me,

but I push you away.

You will not win today.

Not tomorrow.

Not ever again.

So long my deadly friend.

You ask what is wrong,

And I tell you nothing, except now I'm strong.

Dearly Beloved, why do you laugh?

Is it your humiliating defeat?

But you see Dearly Beloved, I have changed.

Laugh while you mind adjusts.

Everything is now a thing of the past.

You have lost Dearly Beloved.

You thought you could kill me completely.

But now, my dear.

You thought I would be six feet under.

But I overcame you.

You thought I would give up and fall into eternal slumber.

Hello Dearly Beloved.

How does it feel to lose your own game?

Perhaps now you will see my pain.

Good afternoon Dearly Beloved,

You look tired and worn.

Is your heart torn?

Torn now that you've lost your marionette?

Good evening Dearly Beloved,

You hold a candle that is lit ever so softly.

Let me blow your flame out, what's left of it.

Goodnight Dearly Beloved.

I bid you pleasant dreams of suffering.

Farewell forever Dearly Beloved.

You are dead to me.

Look - there you are six feet under.

There you rest in eternal slumber.

9

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Comments:

Punishment

Damn alice,, you showed that dear of yours who's boss now didn't you? Hahahahahaha!^^

I love the tone of this poem. The speaker seems to have let her true self out, shunning the fact that her beloved would do as well something to hurt her; but no, she fights back, and realizes that *she is the one to be afraid of. And in the end, she wins. Though revenge is not really the right answer, in this poem what matters most is you fought back for your own defense.^^

Started breathtakingly and ended without breath. (get it? hahahaha!) ^^
Wonderful! Simply wonderful!

All lines are wicked, I love the whole poem. This has to be my favorite poem of yours alice^^

Great job! (I can't stop praising) Hahahaha!^^
I really felt it alice. You have improved with leaps of bounds, you did.^^

Be strong alice. Love isn't always what it seems, but stay strong and commanding. Thus, you won't mourn in the end.

Call the brass band alice! And I'll be arranging the float!

THERE'S GOING TO BE A PARADE TONIGHT!! =)
Hahahahaha! ^^

Posted: Apr 28, 2008

Author Comment:

hahahaha yeah!
yay!! i was wondering about what people thought about the tone b/c its rather mean. i didn't know if some people would like it and some people wouldn't. it was interesting to experiment with.
haha yeah revenge isn't the right answer. but if i didn't fight back, he would have surely killed me (not literally).
hahahaha without breath. very nice way to put it. thank you punishment for the lovely comment!! you dont know how happy i am to hear that you think i've improved AND what tops my day off with a cherry would have to be you saying this is your favorite poem of mine. XD
indeed love isn't always what it seems *sighs* this guy... he was like the perfect gift in the beginning. but... events happen... and true colors are revealed. and what it seemed it be, isn't really what it is. but no worries here b/c he's made me a stronger person and who i am today!
YAAAAAAAAAY!!!! a parade!!!!!!!! XD i've got my baton and everything ;D

XBrokenHeartedX

I agree with everything that Punishment said. You did show him didn't you? Ha Ha Alice you are so marvelous. This poem really opens up my eyes to those who might be going through these exact same things. The pain is so crude that it doesn't just hurt physically but mentally. The part with the candle, the metaphor, it was absolutely wonderful. I really loved this one. To be honest though, I must say I like the first one better. The first one set out the emotion in more of an outburst, where you just threw it out. On this one you compacted it more I guess, inside metaphors and stuff. Don't get me wrong, this poem was wonderful because of the metaphors. It really works your brain, which was really wonderful (for me at least lol). I really really liked it. Great job as always! :D

Posted: Apr 28, 2008

Author Comment:

i loved that metaphor too. when i wrote it, i was like: BAM! take that! hahahaha!
you like the first one better? yeah, i think i actually thought the first one came out better. both are really different though, even though they are on the basic same topic. this one is more cruel and the last one i think had more anger. and there's a fine line between anger and cruelty. its just an interesting thing i noticed when i looked back at them in my notebook. back to what i was saying though (or trying to say) i'm glad you have a preference! i love it when people have preferences and favorites and its not the same old "it was good!" thing (haha we've been over this before. we like good feedback!) thank you zoe for reading and commenting!!

Eternal Night

oh..i don't know what else to say a part from that it was BRILLIANT. It was great to hear from another perspective. Love is dangerous. Like waling across a dark hallway covered in broken glass. You never know where to step. I felt the emotion and the pain and suffering. You did an exellent job. It's hard when you're writing about the emotions closest to your heart, but you did it so fabulously. I don't know what else to say. You have a unique gift.
Thumbs up for you. :)
Eternal Night

p.s. I'm sorry for the pain that whoever it was brought upon you.

Posted: Apr 29, 2008

Author Comment:

love is indeed dangerous!! oh the things you get caught up in and the traps we fall into... its crazy.
thank you eternal night! these 2 pieces are really the first ones that i've written that unleash the emotions in my heart. most my poetry is observing others and writing about them. i haven't written something this personal for... almost 4 years.

no worries here. 1) the pain is gone. now its just anger and i'm releasing it into my poetry. 2) the person who brought this upon me is sure to stay out of my life for a long time. after i told him i was through, he basically wanted nothing to do with me b/c now i was useless to him. so he's out of my life for the most part!
all is well!! :)
thanks for the read and sweet comment ^^

poewhit

eerie poem

Posted: Apr 29, 2008

Author Comment:

hm. i swore i replied to this... but booksie is odd...
it does have an eerie feel to it, doesn't it?
thanks for the read poewhit :)

Lionheart
(not registered user)

O_O

I could imagine you with a crazy look in your eye. I agree with Broken, it wasnt as strong as the pervious one but it certainly had an 'add-on' affect. It was the anger after the sadness and the liberation. Great again in any case, it is a real change from you... i find it hard to believe you wrote it hahHAhHHA!!! But dont take that the wrong way hahahaha

Have a good day/afternoon/evening Alice ^^

Sorry, i know this comment isnt very good but i have what i just invented; 'commenter's block' :S

Posted: Apr 29, 2008

Author Comment:

haahahahahaha!!! a crazy look in my eye, eh? haha well i can see how you got that idea after this poem! i can see it too!

yeah the first one had its strengths. i didnt feel as good about this one, thinking it was that strong.
haha yes it is a change for me!
especially since i'm miss hippie writing about nature and love. hahaha and now i'm writing about anger and sadness. its quite a shift. but my mind writes differently than my heart. and here, my heart was at work for the most part. when my mind takes over, i get my normal happy poetry. but when my heart takes control, voila. emotions are unleashed.

commenter's block, eh? i havent experienced that yet but it wouldn't surprise me if i did anytime soon. haha.
thank you for reading AND commenting lionheart, despite the fact that you have the awful commenters block.
XD
haha take care!

stephhlebreton

yeah that's right, show em' who's boss! lmao. That was nuts! I'm like sitting at the edge of my computer all into it, hell, I felt like I was reading a novel. lol. such a great tale. and I love the ending, how she found her strength to overcome him. Brilliant and so well written!
Steph:)

Posted: Apr 29, 2008

Author Comment:

hahaha! damn right i will! :D
hahahaha a novel? i've actually thought about writing a novel about this particular event in my life... though it would be so much more different... way more personal and it couldn't be told through metaphors.
i love the ending too b/c she's me. ^^
merci beaucoup steph!!

wolffe

Nicely done on the narrative. this flowed well, the emotion was trapped nicely in the lines. a good enough piece to see in a collection in a book. write on.

Posted: Apr 29, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you!
capturing the emotion is what i was aiming for. ^^ good enough for a collection in a book? *gasps* why, thank you!
write on back at chyuh! ;)

Punishment

I guess the others are liking the first one better.
But still, alice, this has to be my favorite poem of yours! ^^

Yeah she killed the damn man and buried him 6 feet under and created a murderer image of herself....THAT'S FRICKIN' GENIUS!! Hahahahahahaha!!^^ Don't get me wrong but I do love blood and that sort of stuff! Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!^^

We have our favorites alice, and to tell you the truth, this poem really did move me to even greater perspectives.^^

It's nice to see you opening up your heart to others.
Once again, great poem!!^^

Take care alice.^^

Posted: Apr 30, 2008

Author Comment:

ahahahahahahaha!!! *bows* thank you punishment! i'm glad to hear that it really moved you. ^^ it makes me so happy to know that b/c you my friend are a frickin' genius! i admire your poetry and the way you can write it so beautifully. i think my poetry gets better and stronger b/c 1) opening my heart and 2) b/c i'm inspired by your work
:)

matthew smith

so do I prefer this poem to the first one???hummm…yes I think I do. it does seem to have more control, though I must say the first few stanza’s of the first poem are better than anything you’ve written here. However, I like the feel of this poem, its darker, more sinister, it smacks of revenge. It shows someone who’s in control of their emotions, where as the first poem felt like someone still coming to terms with events.
I like the “dearly beloved” touch, it creates the metaphor of a letter, which gives the poem so much feeling, makes it really personal. Again I love the first ten lines or so, it sounds like you are toying with your pray, goading him on, it really gives you a sense of power over this person, who’s supposed to have power over you. This really brings out the irony you talk about. The metaphor of death/end at the end of the poem is strong too, and shows you drawing a line under this experience, a sense that finally you’ve taken back control over your life. Together these two pieces make very strong reading, and show a new direction and improvement in your work. A shade of imprisonment is still my fav line of yours, which could easily describe you in this relationship you’ve been writing about.

A porcelain doll lays shattered on the floor,
its image dead in the dust,
but what it contained is now released,
from its wounded breast.

Posted: Apr 30, 2008

Author Comment:

ah yes, this one does have a more in control feel to it. i definately noticed that when i wrote it. i think its stronger in that sense. but first stanza of the first poem i agree is stronger.
ha yes. there is definately much irony in this poem, something i dont usually use in my writing so i really liked the way the irony came out and i'm glad to hear that you liked it as well. ^^
ah after all my poetry, still a shade of imprisonment? hmmm. i believe you have just given me the inspiration boost i needed for the final and third part of the memoirs. i'm thinking about using that line... along with the few lines you just wrote to close this comment. do you mind if i use them??
thank you again for reading and commenting matthew!! ahh! i seriously can't thank you enough with all the great feedback you give! and not to mention, the inspiration you just gave me. :) thank you so much! or as the french say, (my heritage) MERCI BEAUCOUP!!!!!!!
take care ;)

CrystalTears

Great poem, it flows and the words are strong, give great meaning to them. Its amazing!

Posted: May 3, 2008

Author Comment:

aw thank you!

Wayward Troubadour

I like the metaphors you use here; the references to marionettes and dolls really help symbolize that you were treated more like a plaything than a person, and you offer some "verbal violence" to show how FED UP with that you are! It's dripping with embittered spite: always fun poems to read. Just do not let your hatred consume you, Young Skywalker, for that leads to the dark side. I know that's a nerdy joke to make, but I just had to do it :).

Posted: May 5, 2008

Author Comment:

hahhaha! i LOVE star wars! don't worry Yoda, its all good here. i will not join the dark side. i will be strong and use the force for good. ^^
you hit the nail on the head with the references to dolls and marionettes. merely a play thing and not a person with feelings.
glad you liked it!! ^^ thanks wayward troubadour!

Hugs and kisses

0_0 a little bit angry are we? Anyway, this was really good, the poem was just so ummm...I was just about to type happy. That isn't the right word. EMPOWERING! Yes, that's the right word ^.^ I love that it's sarcastic, it makes the poem all the more better! And I read the summary too...I don't think you insulted yourself. So don't worry about that.

Ok, this has absolutely NO reference to you. But just from the poem, I thought of one of those horror movie girls. You know the ones with wispy hair and creepy eyes and a soft, kiddy yet OH SO CREEPY voice? I can just imagine one of those girls like whispering that into some guys ear while he's asleep. AND IT GIVES HIM NIGHTMARES! MWAHAHAHAHA! *cough* ummm...yeah. That's what I pictured, but I do not, I repeat DO NOT think you are a creepy horror movie girl. This is just what came into my mind when I read the poem.

Posted: May 5, 2008

Author Comment:

LOL
hahaha! you make me laugh! ok, first of all, thank you for the sweet and humorous comment. ^^ ahaha yes, a little angry hence the title Memoirs of an *Angry* Heart. hehe. hmm yes i could definately see that horror creepy girl theme in this poem. yes, yes definately. haha.
thanks hugs and kisses!

kenra

Another I Like It vote for you, birdie.

I must say, I liked this one more..

Kinda related to it, and that (my dad) dearly beloved
has really gone six feet under.

Very powerful verse...

2 thumbs up!

Posted: May 6, 2008

Author Comment:

aw thanks
but i'm so sorry about your dad =[

Ghiradelli Girl

Lol^_^-- good start off to this poem. Made me smile with the "I insist" part. And as she get's beaten and breaks I see that anger inside of her that becomes a bright light that erupts, and she rebels against him. Speaks "Dearly beloved" with sarcastic emphasize, and starts breaking him one part at a time until there is nothing left. *Shiver* I could just see the candle light flickering out as the girl blows it, and then the door shutting upon a figure lying on the floor.

Lot's of special chocolate,

Ghiradelli Girl.

Posted: May 6, 2008

Author Comment:

aha yes, she rebels and begins to break away. i loved how you described it, breaking him one part at a time until theres nothing left. when you put it that way, it even gives me shivers! hahaha!
thanks ghiradelli girl! your comments always make me smile!

cris x

well this is obviously another good read because you're an amazing writer. i like the way you said Dearly Beloved. In my mind, the voice rang cold and acidic. i liked it. [:

Posted: May 6, 2008

Author Comment:

hehe thank you! acidic! ooo nice way to describe it!!

air

Hi Alice :-)
to me it started out as though she had been in a submissive state and was resenting it now wanting to feel a sence of power. blaming him she thwarts anger and revenge and well in the end it went to the extremes...
~katie

Posted: May 7, 2008

Author Comment:

well, figuratively. she doesnt actually physically kill the guy. but yes, she was in a submissive state and well, a certain side of her was angry and vengeful. all 3 poems are different in their own way, but have the general theme behind them.
thanks for the read. take care katie :)

FunnyBunny

Like they said...the tone of the poem...tee hee. Just like Lionheart I can imagine you standing with an axe next to his bed with these freaky eyes...haha. You express youself very well. This poem is very powerful.
You have me broken and bruised. - I know all to well how that feels. I had a boyfriend a while ago and he emotionaly abused me and made me feel worthless. It took me 3years but I eventually got out of it. It wasn't very easy but in the long run it will be better.
Keep it coming.

Love Lien

Posted: May 9, 2008

Author Comment:

hahahaha! thats funny. thank you lien for the sweet comment! emotional abuse in a relationship is not good but i'm happy to hear that you got out of it. its never easy, but definately in the long "the ends will justify the means" ^^

Eric JHRB Egan

Oui, tres bien part deux Alice!! It is more sardonic than sarcastic I think, forgive me as I tend to play with words and always try to appropriate them. I am quite the nerd at times. 26 thumbs up.

Posted: May 10, 2008

Author Comment:

haha i just looked up what sardonic meant the other day b/c i was taking the Pre-SAT (its this test you have to take to get into a college) and they had that word on there and i didn't know what it meant so i just guessed, came home, looked it up in the dictionary, and so know i know what you mean when you say more sardonic than sarcastic. and yeah, i agree. i think that fits the poem better definately. though there still is a slight sarcastic tone but its much more sardonic.
thank you eric!!

seesawmae

wow, this is sosososososososososo good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYAY!!! hmm i'm having a lack of words today.. *sigh* great job!

Posted: May 19, 2008

Author Comment:

haha yeah i have those days too. you're not alone! thanks!

Pratibha

I wish more and more women rise up to 'change' their attitude and live with high self esteem rather than just 'lose' themselves.....

i loved both the parts esp the first one

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks pratibha! its really hard to rise up, especially when you're being manipulated by someone much stronger than you... it takes a lot of strength to change under that pressure but i think anyone can do it - and thats why i strongly encourage women of all ages here who read this poem to take a stand ^^
thanks again pratibha!!

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