Torn from Love

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Poem By: allisonlovely
Poetry

Tags: love, foolish, blind, lies, broken, heart, tears, pain, fallen

My first love poem. Based on true feelings I have for a boy who feels the same way. Now I'm confused on how he feels, so I wrote this poem. It's a long story. View table of contents...

Submitted: Jul 18, 2008 Reads: 43 Comments: 9 Likes: 4

My heart has broken,

I've fallen apart

You took my heart and tore it apart

The blood on my face, the tears in my eyes

Caused from the pain,

Torn from your lies

You told me what I wanted to hear,

And I listened, not knowing what was near

Who knew that the tears would fly,

My heart would break,

Our love would die

It was nice while it lasted,

Yet it didn't last long

It felt so right,

But it was so wrong

There were no warnings,

There was no sign

I was so foolish,

My heart was so blind

After awhile, I thought I knew,

But I guess I don't because

I still love you

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Comments:

allisonlovely

Comments are greatly appreciated :]

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Powerful writing and flows well. A few little things detract from the whole eg. "My break would break" - should that be heart would break? and little tense things eg. "There was no warnings" should either be "were" or change to warning. But on the whole an excellent romantic poem and I look forward to more.
Welcome to booksie!

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you! Guess I forgot about a few typos. But again, thank you so much. That means a lot to me!

shreeram

gr8 work i liked it

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you

Alice In Wonderland

Oh my! I do love it! Very, very lovely! I enjoyed it greatly!!!!!

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

awhh, thank you miss alice! that means a lot :]

yonaika
(not registered user)

Awww!! I wanted to scream I LOVE YOU TOO! ... but i would feel too much of a creep xP

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you so so much yonaika! heh :]

Anakura

Great writing, you have a real talent for it.

Posted: Jul 30, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks a ton!

xAnGeL1Cx

aw, it such a sweet poem! kinda sad too (: I know how you feel, but I don't have the talent of putting it into poetic words like you do! great job! ;)

Posted: Aug 29, 2008