Is it illegal to walk on the moon,
Wearing nothing but boxers and a yogurt spoon
Is it illegal to have boobs so big you make men swoon,
Cause then they run after you and ask if you can go out with them anytime soon.
Is it illegal to drink out of yogurt cup,
To call a kitty cat a damn ugly pup,
To say 'What's down?" instead of "What's up?"
And to not rhyme in the last line of the second stanza of this very poem.
Is it illegal to scream at your son,
"Get your mouth out of your thumb!"
And not to say God bless, but God damn everyone,
And to tell all the people you're working when you're really having fun.
Is it illegal to die your hair black when your hair is naturally black,
To kick a dog and say it's a backpack,
To poke someone in the chest and say their having a heart attack,
To find a fish and play with him, patty whack.
Is it illegal to spell everything wrong,
And when there's a trend to join the throng,
To be a man and wear a thong,
To have small ears and a nose so long.
Is it illegal to fart when you're walking,
To run when you're talking,
To say you're not a stalker while you're stalking,
To say you never stare while you're gawking.
Is it illegal to ask your friend Polly if she wants a cracker,
And if she says no to take a pickle and whack her,
And if she whacks you back to get a bigger pickle when you attack her,
And when she becomes a pickle and can't come to work you call her a slacker.
Is it illegal to have bad grammar,
To want nothing but glamour,
To stammer while swing a hammer,
To be a big fat scammer causing a clamor?
Is it illegal to ask to many questions,
To never have suggestions,
To always sound congested,
To really run out of rhymes at the end?
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