Simply Titled: The Kiss

Random First Lines: hell0 there my old friend,Its has been 3 days, 17 hour and 34 minutes since we last metI want you so bad right... : Poetry » Read

Poem By: Amity Willows
Poetry

Tags: kiss, kissing, love, man, woman, romance

This was really, really hard for me to write. I mean, in the sense that I have never kissed anyone, being only thirteen. So I have absolutely no idea if this came out well or not. It's sort of an experiment, to see if I could write the part of man, as I sometimes do, only having him kiss and writing it first person. Please tell me if it's rubbish, I have no experience kissing, (Or being a man, lol) so it probably is. View table of contents...

Submitted: Nov 15, 2007 Reads: 196 Comments: 19 Likes: 9

The moonlight bathes your beautiful face,
My heart thumps and begins to race,
Your raven black hair is falling loose,
Your love is like a tightening noose.

You are choking the life out of me,
But that you always fail to see,
My heart is sounding like a drum,
What a silly fool I have become.

Your face moves closer to mine,
In the moonlight you shine,
I stay still, frozen in fear,
Only a fool will you find here.

Still your lips part, moving close now,
How do I kiss, how, how,
Must remember, time is waning,
All my memory is straining.

Ah, but instincts should be blessed,
This kiss may be one of my best,
As I wrap my arms around you,
And persuade myself it’s true.

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Comments:

brinsley

Moonbeams...tingling anticipation...the killing doom of love! What a great poem, especially when it is written by a young kissless poet. I really liked your work does not become too carnal and I look forward to reading more.
~brinsley

Posted: Nov 16, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you! I'm glad you like it, and don't worry, my stuff isn't going to be carnal or adult until I can actually read adult stuff, which means until not I'm an adult. And even then I think I'll stick to stuff like this. :-) Again, I'm glad you liked it!

mum55

Very enjoyable read well done Juliet

Posted: Nov 16, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks! :-)

air

Amity (smile) your poem is amazing! you may be only thirteen but the discription is right on the button and spoken so extemely well. I think because since you have not experienced it yet per say, you can see into it truths that are often wrongly disturbed by submissions to otherwise temptations of lust.
Yours intuition like all intuitions are pure and that is the way it should be. You will undoubtedly be in this experience, let's hope it happens just the way you have imagined (smile) **********
many best wishes to you - katie

Posted: Nov 16, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you so much for reading, commenting and enjoying! I to hope my first kiss will be the way I've imagined, and I also hope it will be with someone I really like, not just any face. And I'm also not going to kiss till I can date, becuase I just don't see the point. What's the point of kissing someone you like if you can't get to know them better? But to cease the ranting, thank you again!

gerabel

very lovely indeed, Amity. "You are choking the life out of me, but that you fail to see" is truthful beyond your years and a favorite line of mine! It's a joy to see someone of your age wanting to write and writing with such clarity and imagery. Thank you for sharing. Have a "wonder-full" day........Jerry

Posted: Nov 16, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you! I didn't realize it was that good. :-) You have a good day to!!

Glenna Marie

I'm upset, but I like your poem

Posted: Nov 16, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you. I didn't mean to upset you, but I'm stubborn. (This probably makes no sense to anyone else)

boneman

I love this poem ! It describes it very well. I await further poems....

Keep writing

Boneman

Posted: Nov 16, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you! :-)

Rachel Louise Perry

I loved your poem and totally agree with the comments 'Gerabel' posted in that the line: "You are choking the life out of me, but that you fail to see" is both powerful and profound - I'm impressed and amazed that at 13 you can write as beautifully as this. I look forward to more! Rachel.

Posted: Nov 16, 2007

Author Comment:

Aww shucks! Thank you so much! :-)

IveyBanks

A lovely poem, Amity, and like so many of your works, it reveals a timeless wisdom. Wonderfully done.

Posted: Nov 16, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you!! :)

Clemmy
(not registered user)

I thought you're poem was really good, i really liked it. You are very good for only being thirteen. I am going to be 14 soon and I could never write anything like that.

Posted: Nov 17, 2007

Author Comment:

Oh thank you so much! I'm going to be fourteen soon to, in just a few months. I still have to make it through Thanksgiving, turkey, Christmas, ham, and Valentines day, sugary candy. :-)

TaliaBlu

Hey! I loved your poem, you wrote like you have had so much experience!
I'm only 13 also but I'll be 14 on November 20th. Absolutely NO experience here either (LOL) but I really love writing erotica. Well I'll talk to ya later! :)
--Tally

Posted: Nov 17, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you very much! I'll be fourteen soon to. :-) Yay me!

Speshlk

Very nice. I look forward to more from you. :-) ~ K

Posted: Nov 17, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks! :)

Another Anonymous

13 years of age.... You write really well. Can't believe it. Youll make a wonderful writer, best of luck.

Posted: Nov 25, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you so much!!! :)

Terry Collett

Ah, but instincts should be blessed,
This kiss may be one of my best,
As I wrap my arms around you,
And persuade myself it’s true.

Yes, you have the potential to be a really good writer.

Posted: Dec 1, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you for commenting!

iwillkilluallsomeday1408

awesome poem! you really captured it all (btw im little_bratt from meez)

Posted: Dec 13, 2007

Author Comment:

Oh hello!! Thank you so much my meez buddy!

Mind Sight

Very well written. Great job. I wish you well and God Bless. Lisa

Posted: Dec 29, 2007

Author Comment:

Thank you so much Lisa!! :-)

Lionheart
(not registered user)

Sensational!

Are you sure you have no experience being a man? [lionheart asks in an interrogating way]

That was great, i am turning 18 in a week and a half, so i have experienced the young version of this, and it was never like this :( But your poem is great, and i hope to find that one day.

Posted: Jan 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you!! And NO. Last time I checked I was a girl, and I plan on staying one. [Glares at you]

Happy almost birthday!! I'm turning fourteen soon. :D
And I hope you find it too. Heck, I hope I find it when I'm old enough. :-)

Thanks again!!!!

rickyengland

Amity
Exceptional poem
Keep on keeping on with more fabulous writing

Posted: Jan 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much!!!! :D

Zia Jaycee

awww really cute! haha I would have no idea what i am writing either...i'm about your age so great job and i loved the last stanza! keep writing! :) love zia

Posted: Jun 19, 2008