Tired of the same old same old and I'm afraid. I can't seem to stop being guilty and ashamed. I have the desire to do better but can't carry it out. I'm not lazy, I just don't think I am devout. No matter how hard I try it seems to come crashing back into my face. I'm trapped and alone and so far from grace. Don't have a clue how to really change but I must. It seems to happen seldom but it does. It all comes with the pain of going through a hard time. You seem to learn more when you're down in the grime. It helps you to see the beauty in things. No matter how hard the suffering is. The harder the situation the bigger the lesson. It also brings a beautiful blessing.