A Silent Cry

As I lay restlss on my bed

My eyes shut deeply

My ears listen sharply

voices play from every direction

I feel so lost...

I hear myself everywhere in different personalities

I'm not sure where I am

I don't know who I am

To the left I'm loud, hyper, and out going

To the right, I'm shy, drown in,  and alone

Over there I'm laughing, talking, and dancing 

Over here I'm crying, so empty, and so cold

But... I'm still lost...

There is no real me

I feel fake... a deseased body present on the outside

But on the inside, there remains nothing...

Nothing but a stormy cloud blowing 

My life, it's a black shadow of hope 

I'm so numb, but not as numb as I want to be 

I feel nothing, but I feel only the pain...

Coming back to reality, I find myself in bed 

I want to sleep to make the pian stop for a short time 

But everytime I close my eyes and drift away...I dream of memories

Memories waking me up with more pain

And here I go again...

Thinking that no one wants to be with me

Thinking that I'm not the way people want me to look and act

Thinking if I look good for anybody

Thinking if I'll ever be good enough for anybody

I feel like I'll never know...

I'm a prisonar in my own mind

And all I can do is...

Cry silently...cry inside myself.