Welcome To Wonderland

Alice, Alice,
In the hot sun.
Follow the white rabbit,
And have some fun.

Down the rabbit hole,
Let the adventure begin.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Where the queerness never ends.

Down a large hall,
There’s a small locked door;
Maybe that’s what the golden key
On the table is for.

There’s something else
Next to the key,
A little bottle
That says “DRINK ME.”

Drink the bottle to shrink in size,
But you forgot the key.
Now there’s a little glass box,
With a cake that says “EAT ME.”

Eating the cake made you grow too big,
Now what are you to do?
Cry just a little,
And make a pool out of a tear or two.

Poor Alice,
You don’t know anything at all.
With the white rabbit’s fan,
You begin to grow small.

Swimming in your own pool of tears.
What are you suppose to do now?
Try asking the mouse,
He’ll help you out.

Why does he hate cats?
He’ll tell you without fail,
But first a Caucus-race
Before his long tale.

When you talk about your cat,
The birds and animals scatter.
You see a distress white rabbit,
You wonder what is the matter.

He calls you Mary Ann
And orders you about.
It all seems so queer,
That you want to shout.

In the rabbit’s house,
You get what you need;
But now there’s another bottle
With the words “DRINK ME.”

Once you drink the stuff,
You begin to grow a lot.
Now you’re too big,
And in a really tight spot.

You hear shouting outside;
Oh Alice what a fool.
Here comes Little Bill down the chimney,
Too scared to be cool.

You shoot him out like a rocket;
Watch him fly.
He lands on the ground,
Poor little guy.

You see pebbles turning into cakes;
Eat one to shrink.
You get out of that house,
Before anyone could blink.

You get lost in the wood;
You don’t know where to go;
Looking for something
That will make you grow.

Then you meet a puppy,
With big round eyes.
Throw a little stick,
And say your goodbyes.

You meet a caterpillar,
Sitting on a toadstool.
The things you tell him,
Make you sound like a fool.

He leaves you alone,
But tells you something as he goes;
One side will help you shrink,
The other helps you grows.

You eat the left,
You shoot up into a tree.
A pigeon flys around you,
Like an annoying buzzing bee.

Eat the right,
Now you’re small.
You come upon a house,
But you’re too tall.

Shrink some more,
Till you’re the right size;
When you go in,
There will be a surprise.

The Duchess and her cook,
Her baby and cat;
The cat has a smile,
Well would you look at that.

The pepper makes them sneeze,
And things are thrown;
The Duchess gives you the baby;
My, look how fat he’s grown.

The baby turns into a pig,
And the cat’s in a tree;
Telling you to go,
To the Hatter or March Hare for tea.

Visiting the March Hare,
Who is having a tea party;
He and the Hatter,
Have both lost their sanity.

When you go through a door,
You’re back at start;
You won’t forget the key this time;
You’re going to be smart.

Open up the door,
And see what’s on the other side;
You walk into the garden,
And meet some cards with something to hide.

The cards are painting
White roses red.
If they are discovered by the queen,
They’ll lose their heads.

Here comes the Queen of Hearts,
And the rest of the deck.
The only thing you’re thinking is,
How to keep your head attached to your neck.

You play a game of croquet,
But they play it in a strange way.
You see the Cheshire cat,
And is glad that he came.

The King of Hearts says off with his head,
The queen doesn’t care,
The executioner says no
Because the cat’s head is floating in midair.

Go with the Gryphon,
To hear the tale
Of the Mock turtle,
Who loves to wail.

Learn the Lobster-Quadrille,
A very strange dance;
But you have fun all the same,
As you prance.

Now off to the trial,
It’s about to start;
The crime of accused,
“Who stole the tarts?”

The Hatter
Is the first witness called;
Standing before the king and queen,
He is not brave at all.

Next is the cook;
What she says is not clear.
During all the confusion,
She disappears.

“Alice!”
The white rabbit calls;
How surprised you are
Because you have no evidence at all.

You start to grow
In the middle of the trial;
Thinking this is nonsense,
All the while.

The cards attack,
All you can do is scream;
You wake up with a start,
For it was all just a dream.