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Crazy Old Bitty

By: Angie Blake

Page 1, I wrote this about a crazy, mean old lady that lived next to us in 2003. I\'ve always tried to teach my kids to make light of a nasty situation and writing this poem for them helped to make them laugh. That way they wouldn\'t be afraid of this crazy old bitty.

I SWEAR TO GOD SHE'S NINETY FOUR,
THE CRAZY OLD BITTY THAT LIVES NEXT DOOR,
ALWAYS COMPLAINING THAT OUR WEEDS NEED TO BE PULLED,
OUR CAT POOPING IN HER YARD AND OUR LAWN NEEDS MOWED.

SHE'D NEVER BE HAPPY NOT ONE LITTLE BIT,
EVERYTHING WE DO MAKES HER THROW A FIT.

SO I SMILE AT HER SWEETLY AND WINK MY EYE,
I DON'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING BAD I MIGHT MAKE HER CRY,
SOMEDAY SHE'LL FACE GOD AS ALL OF US DO,
THEN AND ONLY THEN SHE'LL HAVE TO BE TRUE.

SHE'LL HAVE TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE YARD AND THE WEEDS,
AND THE FACT THAT MY CAT POOPED ON HER SEEDS,
SHE'LL HAVE TO TELL HIM JUST HOW SHE HANDLED IT,
AND HE WON'T LIKE IT NOT ONE LITTLE BIT.

HE'LL SMILE DOWN AT ME AND THANK ME FOR ALL THE LITTLE THINGS,
THEN HE'LL GRANT ME HUGE, BEAUTIFUL ANGEL WINGS,
SO WHEN YOU'RE RUDE AND UNRULEY AND WHO ARE YOU HURTING,
NO ONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF AND THAT IS FOR CERTAIN!

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