This little bit of nonsense was inspired by Irwin who mentioned in a comment that he had been shifting house (Lol, hope it wasn't something he had hoped to keep quiet!)
It got me thinking how I would hate to be doing that right now, all that packing, unpacking etc. leaving the comfort of what I know etc.
I wrote it in a haiku discipline, although it is of course not "haiku" in a true sense. Just thought it leant a little to my pov.
I would also be interested in any haiku experts out there who could tell me if abbreviations are allowable eg. "I'll" as one syllable or should it REALLY be I will, hence two syllables?
Anyway! Some of you may enjoy or relate.
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Submitted: Jun 10, 2008
Reads: 57
Comments: 7
Likes: 5
Please let me stay put!
Cosy familiar threat
Moving house again
****
So our old house leaks
But I know where the leaks are
Our new place might flood!
****
I'll miss all my friends
Now they think me a local
I don't wanna go!
****
(Excitement? A tad
Perhaps the roof will be tiled?
And neighbours will smile?)
****
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Comments:
GEEZ....i forgot to tell you ANNA, we r also moving on June 27th to London, Ontario ( 2 hours from toronto) for a year.....
WHAT A CO-incidence....now this is FUN.....
SUCH A LOVELY POEM ...i could identify with it perfectly...lol...about haiku, i have no idea ....as a general common person....i loved it....suited my mental condition perfectly.....
Posted: Jun 10, 2008
Irwin
(not registered user)
'Goodbye to that small flat
Hello to House & Garden
No more footsteps creeping
Across my floorboard ceiling
Welcome from those next door
Who thankfully live on the same floor!'
Posted: Jun 10, 2008
^_^ hahahah ya you guessed it, it was Irwin, I know too bad you can't see. I posted to the booksie guy to see if there can something done about when we comment if we can see the whole page you know?
well, I really like it, says alot about how we feel about moving, as does the title. should I stay or should I go? Lol. well, too, I thought how nice to write because of Irwin, and Pratibha is moving too? I did not know there was a London in Canada.
ok, well the Haikus are fine, and "I'll" is ok too, at least far as I'm concerned, although I do not know the rules LOLOLOL!
thanks Anna, always a pleasure to read you ~katie
Posted: Jun 11, 2008
We all have a fear of the unknown, and when it's as personal as moving home, thats about as close as you can get. All the memories with the old place and as you cleverly put down all the little faults and niggles you know so well are all gone and replaced with something totally new.
And the way you add at the end of a grudging excitement at the new prospect just to silver line that cloud of not really wanting to move. Excellent, really entertaining reading.
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
Really good , and i'm not planning to move , but if i would i'll try do the best to feel well.
Posted: Jun 16, 2008
We all seem to be creatures of habit. I know that I am. Maybe a move will do us all a bit of good. Great poem.
Posted: Jun 19, 2008
Hi Anna - I like your Haiku series. I always think Haiku are the most fun for some reason, and I think you did a good job. Why did Irwin go away from Booksie, do you know?
Posted: Jun 21, 2008
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