this One sOrt Of just came to me. A little bit silly but nOt sO silly either. Have fun with it anyway.
June 11th '08 - just realised I never published this one posted ages ago so will do so today!
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Submitted: Jun 10, 2008
Reads: 70
Comments: 15
Likes: 12
Once upon a time
with emphasis
on the o, O, OH!
beginning
opening,
open, unknown
fresh first page
thrilling introduction
excitement
anticipation
sets the mood for
what might follow
What will happen?
Our story unfolds…
You and I
a flirtation
a friendship
an item
a love affair
O so engrossing,
O so captivating
Our own inner circle
Of o, O, OH!
until around the middle of the story
tedium sets in
it’s an effort
to follow the plot
or turn the pages
concentrate on the main characters
O so passionless
O so onerous
O so few highlights
And the number one
O
Loses its omnipotence
momentum stagnates
dwindles
evaporates
to its inevitable
sad, little
definite
.
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Comments:
The shape of the poem on the page reminds me of a dagger. The "." being the tip of the dagger. A rather suggestive subtext. The word stop has a great deal of potential. Look what happens if you break it up:
sto
p
You've moved from "o" to the next letter in the sequence. A suggestion that not only has the relation ship stopped, but by stopping it has evolved into its next incarnation. Just a thought. :)
Posted: Jun 11, 2008
Did as requested, suggested
those perplexed
can interject
neglect
reject
or blame Tarot!
Posted: Jun 11, 2008
haha, very clever, yes it's great to learn new things.
Anna, I really like your poem, it's very different and vwey cute. I see you have another one up, I hope the site allows me to get to it, it has been acting up a bit tonight. see you in a minute...........:D
Posted: Jun 11, 2008
I LOVE IT cosmetically set as a dagger too! Hot!!
Like the P at the end makes me exaggerate it's existence!
P (!!!!!!!!!!!)
Alot of wisdom in your dagger.
btw, tonite I referred to you as the Grace Kelly of booksie. Yep, you are.
Posted: Jun 11, 2008
Hi Anna this poem i feel is unusual, yet read as i do a well discriptive peice on alot of pages from diffrent books........superbly written and i really like it Thankyou .....take care till later Juliet
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
I found this so good I had to read it 3 times! Appreciating the emerging dagger reference which is very symbolic even it was an accident.
There is one O that seems to be missing, only noticeable by it's absence... but I'm too much of a gentleman to say, and I take it you are too much of a lady to include it! :-)
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
I really like your poem. As I was reading it I was thinking of a song by Jackson Brown, "Late for the Sky" and I was deeply moved.
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
Wow this was a very good poem. For some strange reason I was reminded of Margaret Atwood's style while reading your poem, I think because in one poem she kept repeating "O" and in another she bashed fairy tales. Haha, I'm not saying this poem is similar to those two just that it's what I thought of first.
The fact that you used "O" to depict fairy tales throughout the poem was very powerful and unique in getting its message across. The line breaks were not random, they were all meaningful and served to help the poem move along. :) I enjoyed it! Keep up the good work.
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
Ooo my gosh! :) This is so original, what a great idea. I had to read it a few times, second time I was able to read it real quick, it was fun! Thanks for a great read Anna. ~ Nixie
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
Wow,I loved this...especially the ending...such creativity, and the mind working to great lengths of originality.
Posted: Jun 12, 2008
ANNA...ANNA....*S H O U T I N G * * W I T H * * J O Y *
WOW..Tarot's suggestion is great...The shape of the poem is WOW....
AND THE THEME IS SUPER DUPER WOW......
Posted: Jun 13, 2008
Beautiful!!!!
Posted: Jun 16, 2008
Wow I love this poem..it's really good. :) And the shape of the dagger is very clever, even if it wasn't done on purpose. Please let me know when you have new poems up, I love reading them.
Posted: Jun 25, 2008
Very different, very unique, you truely have a lovely technique. That's me trying to be funny,(hahaha)but I also really mean it and I really liked it.
I had to read it a couple times. I have a hard time with poetry, the hidden meanings and such. I usually just ryhme.
Thanks for something different and for making me think. Ted
Posted: Jun 28, 2008
this one tickled my funny bone and made me think a bit. i liked it, and the way you emphasized the O!!!
Posted: Jul 18, 2008
© Copyright 2008 Anna Therese All rights reserved. Anna Therese has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.
