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Once upon a time

Poem By: Anna Therese
Poetry


this One sOrt Of just came to me. A little bit silly but nOt sO silly either. Have fun with it anyway.

June 11th '08 - just realised I never published this one posted ages ago so will do so today! View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jun 10, 2008    Reads: 70    Comments: 15    Likes: 12   


Once upon a time
with emphasis
on the o, O, OH!
beginning
opening,
open, unknown
fresh first page
thrilling introduction
excitement
anticipation
sets the mood for
what might follow
What will happen?
Our story unfolds…
You and I
a flirtation
a friendship
an item
a love affair
O so engrossing,
O so captivating
Our own inner circle
Of o, O, OH!
until around the middle of the story
tedium sets in
it’s an effort
to follow the plot
or turn the pages
concentrate on the main characters
O so passionless
O so onerous
O so few highlights
And the number one
O
Loses its omnipotence
momentum stagnates
dwindles
evaporates
to its inevitable
sad, little
definite

full sto

p

.


12

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Comments:

The shape of the poem on the page reminds me of a dagger. The "." being the tip of the dagger. A rather suggestive subtext. The word stop has a great deal of potential. Look what happens if you break it up:

sto

p

You've moved from "o" to the next letter in the sequence. A suggestion that not only has the relation ship stopped, but by stopping it has evolved into its next incarnation. Just a thought. :)

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Your suggestion is brilliant. I don't see cleverly like that, only the words as they fall. The good thing I will take away from booksie is to look beyond normal thanks to you Tarot.

Did as requested, suggested
those perplexed
can interject
neglect
reject
or blame Tarot!

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

haha, very clever, yes it's great to learn new things.
Anna, I really like your poem, it's very different and vwey cute. I see you have another one up, I hope the site allows me to get to it, it has been acting up a bit tonight. see you in a minute...........:D

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Katie, I see you managed to read both poems. "Once upon a Time" was actually on-line ages ago, I just forgot to publish!! (no wonder it escaped without a peep!)

I LOVE IT cosmetically set as a dagger too! Hot!!
Like the P at the end makes me exaggerate it's existence!
P (!!!!!!!!!!!)

Alot of wisdom in your dagger.

btw, tonite I referred to you as the Grace Kelly of booksie. Yep, you are.

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Wow! The Grace Kelly of booksie is a huge compliment! Well Torot noted the dagger setting - not me!! I rarely think of poetry in "shapes", rather in words, but I am beginning to see possibilities?? Er, P for Peach? The final say?

Hi Anna this poem i feel is unusual, yet read as i do a well discriptive peice on alot of pages from diffrent books........superbly written and i really like it Thankyou .....take care till later Juliet

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Juiet as always thanks so much for taking the time to read and for your generous comment. (Unusual is different and different is good sometimes?)

I found this so good I had to read it 3 times! Appreciating the emerging dagger reference which is very symbolic even it was an accident.

There is one O that seems to be missing, only noticeable by it's absence... but I'm too much of a gentleman to say, and I take it you are too much of a lady to include it! :-)

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh???
Thank you to Tarot who noted the dagger reference - perhaps the "poet" included it inadvertantly (as one sometimes one does when writing a simple poem that transcends on many levels)?
I am gratified that someone took the trouble to read thrice, thank you.

I really like your poem. As I was reading it I was thinking of a song by Jackson Brown, "Late for the Sky" and I was deeply moved.

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Susan thank you so much for dropping in to read and comment - not only this poem but many of my poems I see! For now I will reply comment to this one only - a busy weekend for me - but please know I will read and savour all your other comments soon and add a response for each. I am overwhelmed that you took the time to read so many of my poems. Thank you so much.

Wow this was a very good poem. For some strange reason I was reminded of Margaret Atwood's style while reading your poem, I think because in one poem she kept repeating "O" and in another she bashed fairy tales. Haha, I'm not saying this poem is similar to those two just that it's what I thought of first.

The fact that you used "O" to depict fairy tales throughout the poem was very powerful and unique in getting its message across. The line breaks were not random, they were all meaningful and served to help the poem move along. :) I enjoyed it! Keep up the good work.

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Controverse I was so interested in your comment about the line breaks. That is something I don't work at so conciously (help! Need a spell check, sure that is wrong?)- sometimes if it feels right, there the break goes. I'm glad you enjoed this one.

Ooo my gosh! :) This is so original, what a great idea. I had to read it a few times, second time I was able to read it real quick, it was fun! Thanks for a great read Anna. ~ Nixie

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Nixie thanks so much for dropping in to read and comment - this was fun to write, if I had fun with it hopefully the reader will too! Always appreciate your comments.

Wow,I loved this...especially the ending...such creativity, and the mind working to great lengths of originality.

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Kred thanks so much for reading, sometimes these sort of poems just "come" - and they are the best!

ANNA...ANNA....*S H O U T I N G * * W I T H * * J O Y *

WOW..Tarot's suggestion is great...The shape of the poem is WOW....

AND THE THEME IS SUPER DUPER WOW......

Posted: Jun 13, 2008

Author Comment:

I can hear your shout from miles apart thank you Pratibha. I think Tarot is an English professor??

Beautiful!!!!

Posted: Jun 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much for reading this one and glad it was enjoyable.

Wow I love this poem..it's really good. :) And the shape of the dagger is very clever, even if it wasn't done on purpose. Please let me know when you have new poems up, I love reading them.

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much findingmyway. My latest publication is an article very relevant to what we are all doing - publishing and sharing on line but I have a poem in progress!

Very different, very unique, you truely have a lovely technique. That's me trying to be funny,(hahaha)but I also really mean it and I really liked it.

I had to read it a couple times. I have a hard time with poetry, the hidden meanings and such. I usually just ryhme.

Thanks for something different and for making me think. Ted

Posted: Jun 28, 2008

Author Comment:

Yes this was a different one even for me! It is good sometimes to just "go with the flow" - what started out sounding a bit "silly" turned into a not too bad poem.
(oh, and the dagger!)

this one tickled my funny bone and made me think a bit. i liked it, and the way you emphasized the O!!!

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

I am glad you enjoyed this! It was a poem written with a lot of enjoyment and creative madness so it is pleasing to see this followed through to the reader.



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