TODAY'S INNOCENCE, TOMORROW'S NEWS

Random First Lines: have to end it allThe world is darkAnd so are youMy body acesMy mind is fullYou bitch to muchBut you don’t... : Other » Read

Poem By: Anna Therese
Poetry

Tags: girl, corner, fence, challenge, kittyo8, pervert, poem

Kitty08's word challenge (words/phrase from three lists in order as supplied by Kitty)
My chosen words are:
girl
in a corner
pervert

Hope it is worthy of a great challenge! Thanks!
View table of contents...

Submitted: Jun 16, 2008 Reads: 75 Comments: 19 Likes: 10

There’s a sweet young girl

sitting in a corner on a fence

trying to look cool, pretending she is sexy

hoping to attract a hot, romantic guy

to wolf-whistle, hoot and holler as he passes by

Who’s that hot, young chick

sitting in a corner on the fence

looking pretty cool, pretending not to notice me

“I spy her smooth brown thighs,

sense longing in her big brown eyes.”

Where’s the sweet, young girl

who used to sit in a corner on the fence

trying to look cool, pretending she was sexy

did she attract a pervert passer-by

to drown the sweetness in her eyes?

Email this story | Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

Punishment

Wow anna. You are really good at this. Keep it up :)

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Like you I'm always up for a challenge Punishment. It is sometimes the trigger we need to get creative. There is no chance of me not keeping it up, most enjoyable.

Punishment

What has become of innocence anyway?

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Not sure Punishment - a cue for a poem from you perhaps? Thanks for reading.

Eric JHRB Egan
(not registered user)

Did you get me kicked out of Booksie? Your poem here is shit anyway and concieted.

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Is that you Eric? or books (or booksie)haters 1, 2, 3 & 4???? I feel sorry for you but not that you aren't with us any more.

Jak Sylvian

I really love the past, present, and future tenses of all the stanzas (Ha learning new words all the time!!!) and the way each one is perfectly described for the situation,

A really impressive response to the challenge set. :-)

Goes without saying (also expertly handled if I may say) to ignore certain now-former members of the Booksie society.

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Jak - you honed in on the "feel" I tried to put into a very simple poem with the tenses.
The unfortunate person(s) whom I ignore will be an impetus to create my next "opinion" article - perhaps with Pratibha? - to explore on-line etiquette and behaviour. Does such rudeness reflect the person behind the keyboard? Etc. etc. This is very pertinent to me - I have been a member of an on-line help site for a problem and am appalled at some people's insensitivity and horrified that there is also ruthless, pornographic or other advertising that sneaks in at times. Could be a good subject to ponder??

Pratibha

THANKS ANNA, I ASSURE YOU, I AM WITH YOU WITH EVERY STEP....I AM SURE THAT COMMENT MADE YOU SMILE AND NOT ANGRY...YOU ARE 'OUR' DARLING AND THESE KINDS OF COMMENTS WOULD NEVR 'TOUCH' YOU....PLUS BOOKSIE GUY IS WITH ALL OF US WHO ARE TRYING TO KEEP THE INTEGRITY OF THE SITE....

GEEZ, SUCH A LOVELY POEM AND A HORRID COMMENT....

THE LAST PARAGRAPH IS SCARY....I KNOW IT IS TRUE JUST LIKE VEE'S MEMOIR.....AFTER READING THAT , I SALUTE HER BRAVERY.....

ANNA, DEAR , UR POEM REMINDED ME THAT LITTLE GIRL IN VEE ....WHO SUFFERED SO MUCH....POOR THING....

I WISH NO GIRL SHOULD EVER SUFFER LIKE THIS....NO GIRL....AMEN !

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Pratibha for sweet comment as always.
I do in fact feel sorry for the person who must use angry words to be noticed. What a shame he/she didn't let his/her writing do the talking.

Urja

Insecurity? Anticipation? Regret? So many emotions expressed in one sweet, young poem! Loved it!!

Posted: Jun 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Urja, simple with a tiny bit to say about growing up.

air

Anna :)
that would have been hard for me to write:
girl; in a corner and 'pervert'
but, dang, you did a very good job.
ConGraduLations my dear ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

take care Anna, you are good people*******
~katie

Posted: Jun 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much Katie - I think you could have done those words justice too.

kitty08

HMMMMMMMM!!

Creativity:
9.8
Use of words:
9.0
How far ur imaination traveled:
9.6

This is wonderful and true! In my neighborhood, girls try to be adults before they're even past eight. It's creepy to me and just NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All in all it was a great peice though.

Posted: Jun 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Kitty08 for your appraisal! It was a fun task.

Wandiola

I honestly think that this was a spectcular poem!! I don't know why on earth eric would say such a thing!!
I suppose he's just jelous!!
poor, poor, poor, dude!!
Anyways back to the poem,
excellent put together, it delivers a really strong message.
I dare say, I'm impressed!!!
Happy days!! xx

Posted: Jun 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks so much Wandiola. I believe Eric can no longer be noticed on this site in any other way but to hurl abuse. Sad, sad. Anyway glad you liked the poem!

Susan Hartline Fouts

I hope she didn't get snatched by a child molester. They can be so scary. I was hitchhiking in the 60's and an elderly man picked me up. He started talking all crazy, saying the he could kill me and dump me in the bushes and no one would ever know. that scared me so badly. I decided to use the buddy system from in the future, but I still had mishaps when I ran away from home I was picked up and raped, but a kindly pastor picked me up and bought me a bus ticket to my destination and I will never forget him and his kindness. He even bought me a meal to eat while I waited for the bus. Angels unawares.

Posted: Jun 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Susan I'm sure your experiences came to mind when reading my poem, I hope you managed to put all the trauma behind you. Thanks for reading.

Nixie

You always surprise me Anna, always something original in your writing and here you are again coming up with something new. Good for you for stepping up to the challenge. And I see Eric has made another appearance, will he never learn? I'm betting not. No worry, this was awesome Anna, as always. ~ Nixie

Posted: Jun 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks Nixie, I love a challenge! Bit sad about this Eric lad, he was in fact a very good writer. What a pity he didn't let his words do the talking instead of his aggression and ego.

Classy Peach

Bluesy feel to this. Wow, you really marched this one out...imagery over-the-top and point smacked too!
Great Anna!

Posted: Jun 22, 2008

Author Comment:

"Point smacked" - good words, sort of wanted to do that in a simple, accessible read. Thank you!

matthew smith

Hey a great poem here. unfortunately society causes us to write poems which reflect the cruelness which is all too abundant in the world. Very difficult to write such topics, but u do it with ease

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Matthew again I really appreciated your comment. This is not a literary poem but still a little reflection (or history?) of today's world.

Kred35

Such a great poem Anna....sorry I haven't taken the time to read yours lately. My apologies....but am reading them right now, one at a time.......You are such a beautiful writer, such warmth, with integrity, and values. I appreciate you a great deal.....you inspire and encourage......I like that.

Kinda sad in a way, innocence, purity.....then the cruelness of this world, like Matthew said. It's taken away.

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Kred thanks so much for reading and kind comment - I have been struggling too to find time to read (and publish) a lot on booksie at the moment but I'm working on a little article. I'll let you know when I put it up.

wolffe

great use of the challenge words. the narrative is written smoothly and presented in a great way. loved the word choices following the challenge words. the poem is deep and clear, strong focus on the theme. Good time flow as well. enjoyable.

Posted: Jun 28, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for the generous comments Wolffe.

MAmberConrad

It's scary to think of what truly became of her. It's well written, and very thought-provoking. I wonder if you'll expand a little on the poem.

Oh, and now I know what made you write your article.

MA

Posted: Jun 29, 2008

Author Comment:

MAmber lots of things we write beg for sequels! I hope this girl turned out OK. Thanks for reading.

Illithid

It's a sad but beautiful poem. Great work!

Posted: Jul 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for the kind comment. I must come in to see what you have been writing!

jadey oneil

Things just happen between blinks.

I like your style of writing this piece. ^^

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

I like your comment also, thanks for reading.

ConcreteAngel

I must say job well done :) Its fun to rise to a challenge and you done a great job with it! :)

Posted: Sep 22, 2008

Author Comment:

ConcreteAngel thanks for reading one of my challenge poems. it is fun and a good way to assist writer's block to go along with some of the challenges booksie writers dream up. Thanks for reading.