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"SATAN'S PLAN"

Poem By: Azmat Shah
Poetry


ok now here is something a little different from my other poems, this is actually act one of my poetic story. Its basically a fictional account of Satan's devious designs and my take on the final battle between good and evil, tell me what you guys think, if you like it then i will post further chapters. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jun 13, 2008    Reads: 97    Comments: 13    Likes: 6   


"CHAPTER NUMBER ONE"

" ACT ONE"

somewhere between the sky and earth,

lies the realm of light where darkness lurks,

heralding the start of one event,

which is a prelude afore the end.

outwordly calm the world's revolve,

a thousand questions yet to solve,

and there heading heaven ward a shooting star,

luminescent, bright, but with vengeance in its heart.

And thus has he ventured for eons before,

sneaking past the sentries at heaven's door,

only once before did he succeed,

to entice, ensnare and feed off greed.

That time man erred and EDEN burned,

from heavens bosom was hence he spurned,

an ignominious descent from the skies to dirt,

to pay for his deeds forevermore.

but even that feat didn't assuage his cursed soul,

for complete victory is SATAN'S one true goal,

and hence he concocted his devious plan,

For this day would signal his final stand.

One purpose rages behind his hateful eyes,

to capture just one of those who fly,

above the heavens their wings unfurl,

as their pure white robes twist and turn.

They have been called the children of light,

and for their God they have waged many a fight,

their names abound in every faith,

they are the angels who conquer hate.

And on their flight is Satans eye,

as he waits for one just out of sight,

Lo and Behold one ventures down,

unknowing what awaits it on the ground.

This is the chance that He has craved,

for this God's wrath has he braved,

pouncing stealthely Satan surrounds his foe,

The thrashing angel is cornered just like a doe.

Before the others can raise an alarm,

Satan clutches his prize and heads for land,

with mighty swishes of his hook like tail,

he barrels through the milky way.

Behind him arises a keening cry,

it rocks the stars and shakes the sky,

but even now he is beyond their reach,

he glories in Gabriels high pitched shriek.

"END OF ACT ONE"

"ACT TWO"

For several days they chased at his heels,
But Satan was slippery just like an eel,
He outpaced their chariots of shimmering gold,
Roaring like a lion and twice as bold,
The angels were left in his smoldering wake,
Gabriel roared with rage, making the stars all shake,
But by now Satan was far beyond their grasp,
He vanished with the angel clutched in his clasp.
At last he reached his true abode,
The pestilent lair which he called home,
Hidden from the glare of heavens light,
Far beneath the Earth and well out of sight.
Here was the place where he reigned supreme,
Where evil congregated and malice teemed,
The fires of hell from whence he sprang,
Burned brightest here beneath the sand.
He was greeted by a rapturous applause,
Cheered on by the millions that he had spawned,
Like him they all were made of flames,
Sired by his scorn andsuccored by his hate.
This day all evil was in a jubilant state,
For its master would finally conquer fate,
All life would now cease to exist,
Heaven would be crushed beneath Satan’s fist.
Satan dumped his prize onto the dirt,
As a roar went up and shook the earth,
His children all gathered in his domain,
Continuously shouted “Our Lord is great!”
Raising a claw Satan silenced the crowd,
Staring malevolently down from atop his mound,
Behind him the angel floated to her feet,
Staring all around at the hellish scene.
As Satan turned baring yellowed fangs,
Expecting to see her cowering in the sand,
An uncertain frown marred his spurious brow,
When he noticed the angel stand her ground.
Spewing rage from inside of every pore,
Radiating menace from within his core,
Satan prowled around his helpless prey,
But she did not budge she chose to stay.
"Why my dear are you not afraid?
Why don’t you raise your hands to pray?
Alas He can not come to your aid,
For here darkness festers, and I reign."
Then Satan laughed for all to hear,
But the angel did not quiver with fear,
She raised her head blinding him with light,
Surprising him with all her might.
In a crystal clear voice the angel said,
Without any fear, nary a sign of dread,
A halo of light encompassing her form,
She bravely faced down the gathering storm.
"I pity you oh Lord of hate,
Your lust for power shall never sate,
For useless lives have you tried to best,
A being you know is above every test."
"You stand on kindling with a burning match,
To crumbling sand your claws have latched,
You are like a drop on an ocean great,
That fights the current of its inevitable fate."
"One day your cocky nature will,
Within your heart fear instill,
The venom you spew corrupts your self,
Your armies of allies are all pretend."
"Fallacy colors your every word,
For eons afore have you tried but erred,
To conquer God and watch heaven burn,
Tis useless but you will not learn."


6

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Comments:

I guess I am the first to comment. Wonderfully written. We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Posted: Jun 13, 2008

As I was reading, actually, could see it in my minds eye. I believe this is a work of art! Sometimes, I don't get things people right, or have to look words up in the dictionary to understand what they are expressing. I have to hand it to you, if you could write such a wonderful piece, and get my mind to actually see the whole story taking place? You did an Excellent job, a superior rating......WOW!
This was my favorite part at the end.....


"Behind him arises a keening cry,

it rocks the stars and shakes the sky,

but even now he is beyond their reach,

he glories in Gabriels high pitched shriek."


I loved it!

Posted: Jun 13, 2008

Author Comment:

Thankyou so much, ur encouragement means so much to me. If more people like this i'll post further chapters. Basically this poetic story has four chapters with each chapter containing 4 acts. I am so happy u could visualize my words for that was the main purpose behind this poem, i wanted it to feel like a piece of fiction yet retain poetic integrity. Their are lots of other characters who'll be introduced in the coming chapters i hope you like them.

I think i am too immature to understand the entire theme and i would be lying if i would say that i understood everything but I LIKED IT....it showed the influence of SATAN on us and the mssg to fight back and be the winner over SATAN....I may sound foolish here....

BUT U MUST CONTINUE PLEASE....

Posted: Jun 13, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey there is nothing foolish about you, thanx for the encouragement sweetie, i will continue as long as you keep reading.

What the heck...it wasn't tightly wound with rhyme?
eeeek!

is there going to be an eclectic and eccentric radical twist in chapter 2? Am i going to predict the ending or will the amazing Azmat Shaw thrill me beyond? *random thoughts

You've used a play on some words that I find intriguing. Sentries or Centuries. neat eh?
signal his final plan. or single his final plan.

The thrashing angel is cornered just like a doe

Posted: Jun 13, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx and keep reading.

Hey...my comment got cut off...
The thrashing angel is cornered was my fav line.

Some of your lines are too long.
Regardless....i'm interested...

Posted: Jun 13, 2008

Author Comment:

Yeah i know what you mean by some of them being too long, i will look into it and see what i can do. Thanx once again for ur encouragement and support, you can rest assured this one will surprise you, just wait untill i get to the point where the final war between the Devil and God takes place, it will be a bltzkrieg LOL. I was very inspired to write something like this after i read three poetic novels namely, "The "Iliad", "Paradise Lost" and "Kublai Khan" i am sure you've read them too, aren't they amazing, not that this is anywhere close to good enough to be mentioned in the same breath as those works of art but i am hoping to get there one day in the distant future, just wish me luck.
The first act is basically a faster version of the events which unfold in this story, it just gives an idea about the tone and direction of this tale, the following chapters and acts will be much more detailed and intense, i hope you like them.
Sorry for boring you with a miniature introduction LOL.

Alert! Alert!
I just had a brilliant idea.
Why don't you try using a play on MANY words in your next chapter (i know I know...it's already written...don't care...i think you could use words that have slight changes in meaning).....sweet.

Posted: Jun 13, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx, i will try to do what you have suggested.

Grand and majestic!

I will be back on Wednesday with a more detailed discussion about which parts I liked more and which less and why.

But I have to tell you one thing now itself: You MUST continue with the story. And that's an honest opinion.

Posted: Jun 14, 2008

Author Comment:

Thankyou so much, ur encouragement means so much to me. Dont worry i'll definately continue with this. See you on Wednesday,i look forward to ur detailed analysis.

intriguing :)

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you, boy you really are generous with words lol.

ShadowyNightmare
(not registered user)

This is very expressive, and because of it, I saw all of it playing through my head. I hope that you continue on with this. It is beautifully written. Job well done!

Posted: Jun 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you very much, i ll be posting further chapters very soon so plz stay tuned. I hope you like those too.

I've already been waxing eloquent about how much I liked the poem, so I'll just get on with the 'constructive criticism'. I’ll go stanza by stanza.

I like the idea of darkness lurking in the realm of light itself. Have you read Tolkein’s ‘The Silmarillion’? That book tells of the events which had taken place ages and ages before those in the ‘Lord of the Ring’. The initial chapters talk of how evil came into being, as a few discordant notes which crept into the song of God. Your poem reminded me of that (I would ascend to heaven in ecstasy if anyone was reminded of Tolkein when reading my work, so this is a major compliment!). As for editing, I think you need to add a ‘the’ before ‘earth’. Rest is perfect.

In the second, it should be ‘worlds’ and not ‘world’s’. I would remove the ‘and’ in the third sentence, and make the fourth as ‘luminescent, with a vengeful heart’.

The third one is just right.

In the fourth, the last line sounds a bit off key – from the dramatic descriptions of the first three lines, there is a sudden deviation into a different style which doesn’t sound right.
Again, the first line of the fifth has a different rhythm compared to the rest three. You could alter the words a bit, for example, ‘Unsatiated, hungered his cursed soul’, or something such (to reduce the number of words).

The sixth seems just right, again.

In the seventh, maybe you could just say ‘for God’ instead of ‘for their God’. Rest is great.

The eighth again seem perfect.

In the ninth, the second line seems too perfectly rhymed with the first. Perhaps you could add a word or change something in that line so that it sounds less abrupt? The third and the fourth are superb.

The last two stanzas are great too.

Whatever suggestions I have given are purely subjective. Since I have not studied poetry in its ‘proper’ form, I cannot really claim that what I have said ought to be right. I have just written these things based on what ‘sounded’ right to me. But I’m sure you are interested in getting the opinions of how your work ‘sounds’ to others, so I guess this counts. What I like the most about your poems is that they portray a majesty and grandeur which is other-worldly and epic like. You could almost call them modern ballads. And I really think that there is no one else on booksie who can beat you in that genre.

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

this is poetic art..satans grinning image comes to mind ...

Posted: Jul 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you. I am so glad you liked it, i wanted this to evoke imagery, and it seems i succeeded to some extent LOL.

ohhhh, I can't wait for more!!! heeheeheeeheeee

Posted: Jul 14, 2008

Please write more, we are in for a treat!

Posted: Aug 2, 2008



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