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This is a about not going on and to even give up. View table of contents...
Submitted: Jul 24, 2008 Reads: 67 Comments: 14 Likes: 7
You touched my face
You gave me the answer
Don't leave me alone
Help me survive here alone
In ths abyss of a life there is a bliss
And I contemplate on being happy
But I will go on unil the end
Unil I find my bliss
and I know I will lost my way somethimes
But I will go on unil the end
Will you help me find what I'm looking for
I know I will and I want you to be a believer
I'm a believer
And theres always going to be a jubiant fire in me
and I now I wont ever give
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i liked it...it's different... I think I should read once more to get the real meaning of it...
Posted: Jul 24, 2008
When you said 'But I will go on unil the end', the first thing I thought of was Cher's 'My heart will go on' Was this somewhat the theme of the poem? In any case, I really like it :)
Posted: Jul 25, 2008
sweet! this is really inspirational. just try your best to be happy and make the best of a situation, even if it's not the best situation...
Posted: Jul 25, 2008
hi! btd. that's the spirit, girl. i like it. i like it very much. keep it up. lol. ;-)
Posted: Jul 26, 2008
Nice, a light in the darkness we all need and hope it is not an oncoming train.
Posted: Jul 27, 2008
WOW you can really tell that there is a light at the end of the dark place that you were in. You go girl.
Posted: Jul 30, 2008
I like how your poem becomes uplifting near the end. But also near the end know may do better than now. Thank you for sharing.
Posted: Jul 30, 2008
Hello Before The Dawn,
"Jubilant" was most inspiring and wonderful! I enjoyed your poem so very much as it did, in my case, hit so close to home!
After a lifetime of "ALONE" but, never giving up I found my bliss half a world away. Actually, she found me, when I wasn't even looking and in the least of likely places.
And yes, you are so very correct. Never give up and follow your dreams! If you truly believe in something it will surely become a reality!
I hope that you will not mind too much if I share this with my fiancee. She is my bliss!
Thank you for sharing! Keep them coming!!
Posted: Jul 31, 2008
It is different, but an enjoyable read. Well done ^-^
Posted: Aug 19, 2008
the line 'but i will go on until the end' reminds me of until the end by breaking benjamin.
anyways it was good, really good,
=]
Posted: Aug 21, 2008
It was a nice piece of writing and I enjoyed to read it. Although I think you have to improve a little bit the flow, rhyme and the general plot. With such a good content, it is missing a good "container" to set it in.
Thanks for sharing it. =)
Gabriel
Posted: Aug 23, 2008
I liked it too, it had a joyous sense. Few spelling errors could do with a revamp - offputting when the poem is so vibrant.
Posted: Aug 27, 2008
so lovely i need this cuz yeah i am still stuck in my past.
Posted: Sep 5, 2008
its lovely. :)
Posted: Oct 13, 2008
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Other writing by Before the dawn The lips that wont kiss back *Sorry** Never was My strength Before the dawn. More..
Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.
