Graveyard

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Poem By: bellavistabear
Poetry

Tags: death, cemetary, graveyard, head stones, sprits, souls

A leisurely stroll through the cemetary..late at night...alone...if you dare! View table of contents...

Submitted: Aug 30, 2007 Reads: 43 Comments: 4 Likes: 1

It's late at night

I wander through the fog.

Who might be walking next to me

I hear the mournful howling of a dog.

The darkness envelops me

I feel the pounding of my heart.

An eerie presence overwhelms me

Was this late night stroll very smart?

Midnight in the graveyard

The head stones seem to come to life.

Fear burns into my soul

Like the stabbing of a knife.

Souls of the dearly departed

Have dominion over this land.

Spirits of the unknown

Are walking with you hand n hand.

Don't look around too quickly

You might not like what you see.

A ghostly white image in the shadows

Through the woods, you may have to flee.

Alone in the Graveyard

Or at least you think you are.

The company that surrounds you

Could leave an emotional scar.

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Comments:

Chicka19

I wanna go! I think it would be fun to walk through a graveyard on a eerie night. I would be scared out of my mind but hey I might see a ghost. Another wonderful one brian! :) mandy

Posted: Aug 30, 2007

Author Comment:

Me too..I love to wander through graveyards...I find it interesting to read the gravestones...the names and the dates...sometimes over 100 years old. I'd love to actually see a ghost..

Thanks again,

Brian (bellavistabear)

Aiden Mondeley

That was definitely different.
But in a good way! I really liked this! It would undeniably be freaky to walk through a cemetery in the middle of the night. Yet cool at the same time.

I agree with Mandy. Fun fun. lol.

Posted: Aug 31, 2007

Author Comment:

I think it would be alot of fun...Scaring yourself is always alot of fun and what would be scarier than walking alone...in the fog, in the dark in a cemetary...

Thanks for your feedback/comments..

Brian (bellavistabear)

jAZEL sEVEN

I like the idea here, but one thing I would say about your poetry, from what I've read so far, is that you tend to go all out on the rhyming. I use a hell of a lot of rhyme too, but I feel your insistence when there isn't good word there...

'The head stones seem to come to life.

Fear burns into my soul

Like the stabbing of a knife.'

The knife at the end here was the main part that did it for me, it just feels too forced and kind of gives it a jokey fell to it.

Hope this helps and is somewhet constructive criticism.

Posted: Aug 31, 2007

Author Comment:

Thanks for stopping by. Your right, I do insist that poetry rhyme. To me, it simply makes the piece flow and is more pleasing to the ear. In my opinion, a poem that doesn't rhyme is usually just a jumble of words. But your right, as I read over this one again that wasn't necessarily the best choice of words. It could be re-written and I may do just that.

Thanks again,

Brian (bellavistabear)