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1969, the year I was born, just before the reality check of the 1970's in the UK.

A decade I would wish to forget along with most of my previous years. The reason is I spent a lot of my childhood and a good part of my early adulthood in and out of hospitals and doctors clinics. Without on the whole any reason why until I came to access my notes in 2007.

This poem deals with this and the pain I was caused and the very real pain I still feel when I think about it.


Submitted:Sep 23, 2007    Reads: 690    Comments: 6    Likes: 5   


1969

Born in 1969 just after man walked on the moon

3 years after England won the world cup

Something they still go on about even now........

Autumn 1969 the last gasp of the swinging '60's

The last Xmas of the decade was to be my first

The day before the beatles released Abbey Road

Born in 1969, a long hospital stay

A vision of times to come

A sickly child, don't expect him to live

Crawling into the 70's

Depression and strikes

the 3 day week

Through the awful 70's

Hospitals and doctors

Tubes and Humiliation

Medical decade kill or cure

Or was I just a test subject ?

Try a new treatment as he does not respond

Late 70's passing now

A voice to speak

A silence to swallow

Into the 80's almost a teen

Still they come, still they test me

Still they talk as if I am not in the room

Still Mother you take me

Still Mother you diagnose me

Still Mother you sign the consent forms

Still Mother you blame me

Still Mother you say I am sick

Still Mother you do not hold me

Still Mother you talk to the doctors

Still Mother you say "The boys not right"

Still Mother you say "Is there anything to be done ?"

The 90's are here now

Into my twenties almost a man

Now addicted now a mess

The 90's are a blur

My anger a physical thing

My body no longer mine

Still the doctors come

Still they talk to you

Still they try and cure me

Still they shake their heads

Still they take my blood

Still they strip me naked

A century is finished now

As I am moved away

Freedom is calling

A doctor is reading my notes

This time at my request

Again he shakes his head

Again he questions me

"why was this test done ?"

Again I do not know the answer

The doctor is reading my notes

The doctor is dismissing it all

The doctor is concerned for me

The doctor does not believe

The doctor can not see why

The doctor cannot understand

Why did you do this Mother ?

Why did you do this to me ?

Why did you hurt me ?

Why did you tell them all those lies ?

Why did you make me sick ?

Why did you not just love me ?

Mother why ?

Mother why ?

Mother why ?

MOTHER WHY ?

Boneman 2007





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