My Last Farewell
I dried my tears and stepped into the room,
Ali’s hand in my hand.
The boy who I called a brother sat in one of the leather sofas,
his eyes trained on our entwined fingers.
The great voice asked of me a question that I could easily answer with the truth.
I glanced at Ali but he would not meet my gaze.
I turned back.
And what did I do?
I lied.
“Yes.”
My brother flinched.
His mouth opened and closed,
But he did not speak. I wished he had.
I wished he would tell the truth.
He looked down and a single tear fell,
leaving a wet path behind it.
The great voice spoke again.
“I forgive you.”
My brother’s head snapped up,
The trail of the tear gone.
Our gazes met.
And in his wide eyes I saw my story.
My story of betrayal and loyalty.
I nearly told that I knew, that I could sense his guilty knowledge.
I wanted to shout and scream.
I wanted to cry again.
But I knew he knew.
He had already seen it.
I had no need to speak.
Ali spoke. He talked of leaving.
The great voice was weak.
Talk of forgiveness.
Talk of life.
Talk of impossibility.
I left. I was still standing there.
But I had left reality.
I knew I would return.
But, for now, I could not cope.
An arm curled around my shoulders,
Its warmth drawing me close.
My brother saw the cold look,
And I heard his heart jump.
More words were spoken but I did not hear them.
My name was said. I did not react.
Suddenly, I sensed something.
I came back.
I looked up. I saw the grimace on the frozen face. Pain and sorrow.
We had caused this.
I looked back down and left again.
I felt my brother’s gaze on me.
I sensed his pleading.
There was something on the edge.
There was a time of frailty in our guard.
But then it fell back.
The great voice echoes, the sound ringing in my ears.
I still did not look up.
I felt the rumbled voice in the chest of Ali.
And then,
Just like my brother,
I saw something I will never forget.
The great voice cried,
Tears swept over his cheeks.
It begged a weak.
“Please…”
But we had turned away.
We had left my brother, we had left my only home.
The bonds broke, snapping apart.
I followed Ali.
We walked away.
I said goodbye to my endless loyalty.
Goodbye brother. Goodbye Amir Jan.
He would never answer.
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