I Just Want To Close My Eyes

People are always rushing

Rushing to get somewhere

Even rushing to grow up

Sometimes I just want to close my eyes

When 
I open them I’d be young again

I’d see my brother and be happy

I’s see my mother so full of energy

And not crying because she’s so full of frustration

I won’t know that most times she cries it’s sadness leaking out

I won’t know when sometimes that

BANG!

Goes off in the night

That it might mark the end of someone

I would believe in magic

That if I closed my eyes something amazing would happen

There wouldn’t be wars

Especially the ones with those scary black sticks

I wouldn’t be keeping secrets

And every word coming from my mouth isn’t a lie

I wouldn’t be scared that mama might reject me

How could she?

Or why should she?

My mama says she loves me no matter what, right...

Right?

Daddy’s not grouchy and he always smiles

Always, right?

When did I stop believing in my dreams

That I’m not good enough

That no matter what I do

I’ll always be that person who never gets what they desire

Where’d it go

The late night laughs

Our tight family

When did we become undone

I miss them

I miss that

I guess that is what a childhood is

A time to fantasize

To be proud

To dream

To be confident

To be yourself

To be happy

I can see why people say don’t be in a hurry to grow up

I don’t want to be young again

I want it to be like I’m young again

I want that secure feeling

That no matter what happens someone will protect me

I want it to be like...

Everything’s actually going to be okay