try to be happy

I want to be happy but I don't know how How can one love when there no love to go around Around my head spins over and over Over all the things I have to ponder Ponder my life the existance I have Have I ever been happy or always sad Sad is all I can seen to muster Muster up courage to figure this out Out of this rut is what needs to be done Done with this dread this doubt this fear Fear is what's really in side if me Me that's what's stared this all All my life, me has not matted to Me Me be happy for real, for Me for Sanity Sanity is what I need to find but where to start Start fresh start new start being true True to what I feel I need I want I thrive Thrive on feeling like I'm actually alive Alive and true and happy, happy truly happy Happy I found it...