As I lie here in my room , I know that it's tonight
When history repeats itself, I won't put up a fight.
I gave up fighting years ago, I didn't know what to do,
I didn't want you hurting me but still I saw it through.
And then it stopped. I breathed a sigh but now it's here again
Don't you know what I go through - the guilt - the tearing pain?
I'll never know a sense of peace, you've cut me like a knife,
I'll never see myself as clean, you've ruined me for life.
And as I lie here feeling that familiar sense of dread,
I hear your footsteps on the floor, I sense you near the bed.
I hear your clothing hit the floor, so then I close my eyes,
Pretend that it's not happening, wipe out the dirt and lies.
I won't cry out, I'll cry inside - just like I have for years,
No one knew, they don't know now, so they couldn't wipe my tears.
But still for unknown reasons although what you do is bad
And though for all the years you've hurt me,
I will always love you dad.