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Egyptian Blues

Poetry By: Chris Gerard

Humor, rhymes, ancient egyptians - what more could anyone ask?

Submitted:Feb 1, 2012    Reads: 55    Comments: 15    Likes: 6   

The Pharoh in Cairo

inscribed with a biro

that Moses was driving him nuts

He said to his wise men

'I hate and despise him

In facteth I hateth his guts

'How do I get ridda

of this Yiddisher kidder?'

he screamed at the walls day and night

'If I scheme and inveigle

he says a new plague'll

descend and my citizens smite

'The man is a jinx, a pariah, methinks

who'll be trouble wherever he goes

His philosophy stinks

and I'll wager a Sphinx

that each foot of him carries six toes

'He made us the focus

of ravenous locusts

He showered down frogs on our heads

He threatened to starve us

to quarter and halve us

and confine our first borns to beds

'How can we unsettle

this useless usurper

while retaining the use of our slaves?

The short-sighted jerk

doesn't see that their work

drives a lucrative holiday trade

'Six thousand years hence

we'll be counting the pence

as the tourists arrive in their hordes

To see myriad pyramids

rich hieroglyphics

old pottery, jewelry and swords

'But Moses would rather we sat on our asses

or camels or donkeys or mules

Awaiting his God,

a provider of jobs

or invention of carbon-based fuels

'Well sorry, old mate

I'm unable to wait

the people need feeding today

Did anyone mention

we're deep in recession?

So Mo, please won't you

go away.'


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