The Pharoh in Cairo
inscribed with a biro
that Moses was driving him nuts
He said to his wise men
‘I hate and despise him
In facteth I hateth his guts
‘How do I get ridda
of this Yiddisher kidder?’
he screamed at the walls day and night
‘If I scheme and inveigle
he says a new plague’ll
descend and my citizens smite
‘The man is a jinx, a pariah, methinks
who’ll be trouble wherever he goes
His philosophy stinks
and I’ll wager a Sphinx
that each foot of him carries six toes
‘He made us the focus
of ravenous locusts
He showered down frogs on our heads
He threatened to starve us
to quarter and halve us
and confine our first borns to beds
‘How can we unsettle
this useless usurper
while retaining the use of our slaves?
The short-sighted jerk
doesn’t see that their work
drives a lucrative holiday trade
‘Six thousand years hence
we’ll be counting the pence
as the tourists arrive in their hordes
To see myriad pyramids
rich hieroglyphics
old pottery, jewelry and swords
‘But Moses would rather we sat on our asses
or camels or donkeys or mules
Awaiting his God,
a provider of jobs
or invention of carbon-based fuels
‘Well sorry, old mate
I’m unable to wait
the people need feeding today
Did anyone mention
we’re deep in recession?
So Mo, please won’t you
go away.’
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