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"Paid My Dues"

Poetry By: Christian Taylor

A dark poem about being bullied in middle/high school, but being able to become stronger from it all.

Submitted:Mar 27, 2012    Reads: 58    Comments: 8    Likes: 5   

Remember I do,
Of the darkness that was my growing pains,
Never a cruel joke or a cruel act wasted,
At my expense for your amusement,
No shame, no soul, no care
Just a laugh,
A point of a finger,
Spit out words of hate,
Just to see me break and shatter like glass,
Try learning the lessons in class,
Just a blur from all the insults,
You and your posse of friends,
Inflected upon me,
Concentration impossible,
Overwhelmed with a sea of emotions,
So dark and painful.
Run home to an empty space,
A room that was mine,
But felt more like a cage,
Only sanctuary that was safe,
Still heard the whispers of everything,
Uncontrollable I couldn't keep the pain inside,
I cried wishing an escape,
From the pain and suffering,
Taste of salt from the tears,
Falling from blue eyes of such an irony,
If tears had turned to blood,
Tears of blood from my soul,
Dead and empty inside,
Thoughts of forever darkness fill my head,
What method of choice,
Can one choose to end the suffering?
Conscious mind of reason,
Stops my suicide from happening,
Realization the coward that was me,
Foolish of the thoughts,
Went through with it,
They win.
Turned the tides around,
Fought back from being pushed to a wall,
Turned my anguish,
Into a personal triumph,
Prove them wrong,
Paid my dues,
Never did you imagined,
I'd rise from the ashes,
Crying on the outside no more,
Lessons learned,
Bridges burned,
Thanks for all your hatred,
Everything you say,
Everything you done,
Turned me into a fighter,
Only made me wiser,
Thanks for making me stronger,
Not holding back,
Don't let the truth hurt you,
Try as you might,
Already gone,
And moving on with my life,
Never again does the pain you inflected upon me,
Will make me fall into the hole of despair,
Just only makes me fight harder,
More determined to prove you wrong,
Looking back in the present,
Only loser I know,
Is not the one I see in the mirror.


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