My outer shell, my wall to the world, is tumbling down and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
Every reprieve I once had is gone. My havens, invaded. My trusted friends now become spiteful spies, trying to watch me fall.
Okay, I say, just let me fool myself.
A trick or two to ease the pain shouldn't be that bad.
But any intoxicating attempt gives no relief;
Even my own self refuses to accept this liquid that burns in the back of my throat.
The only thing that seems warm at all right now.
Sitting alone, I wait for it to take effect.
So I can clink my empty glasses and cans of coke and